Home Sanctuary

Company Girl Coffee 4.29

It's been a busy week, as I am preparing to go out of town for several days. I have projects to wrap up, clothes to wash, and artwork to finish. Thankfully, I got a haircut squeezed in yesterday, so it's all good. :)

On Fridays I host Company Girl Coffee....it's a fun way to meet up and get to know other bloggers by joining in. Even if you don't "link up," I encourage you to click on several of the blog links and make some new online friends!

 

Turn in April Points!

April 2011 is going into the history books as having the most tornados in US history. It is truly an awful sight to see the devastation that has taken place, especially in the south. If you've been touched by these disasters, our hearts are with you. We are praying for you.

Since this is the last weekday of the month, it is time to tally up the points you've earned by playing along with the Small Things. We've done some meaningful tasks along with some silly ones....but the point of all of them is simple: taking delight in caring for the people we love. Hey, sometimes cleaning toilets and doing laundry is not very delightful and it helps to know that we are all in this together each day AND that you have a chance to win a prize!

Here is a reminder of what the Most Points Winner will receive:

You will receive 5 signed copies of my book, Company Girl! One copy is for you to keep for being a great CG :), and the rest may be given to the sweet friends in your life that you've been MEANING to do something nice for, but never seem to get around to it. 

Today, a lady bought NINE books to give away - because once she started thinking of friends who are special to her, she wanted to give this to every single one. I think you'll feel the same way.

 

The Random Drawing Winner will receive When I Lay My Isaac Down, by Carol Kent.

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Today's Small Thing is two steps:

1. Email your point total number to me at [email protected].  Just sharpen your pencil and add up what you've done this month! Please be sure that you only give yourself points for the tasks you completed on the days they were assigned (or within the timeframe given). No cheating and "catching up" all at once on the last day! That would defeat the whole purpose of daily Small Things, right??

If you simply want to be entered into the Random Drawing, let me know in an email as well. Anyone is eligible for the drawing...no adding of points required.

2. Leave a comment, letting us know which Small Thing you enjoyed/needed the most this month. I love reading which things you liked....and I think everyone else does too!

You even get points for doing today's Small Thing.

POINTS: 40 for the two steps: sending your email, and leaving a comment...good toward March's total. If you've already won for Most Points previously, you won't be eligible to win again, sorry. I'll collect points/emails until midnight Sunday, May 1 CST. 

Song of the Day: Count Your Blessings, Diana Krall

Nature Call #3: Am I Loved?

*NOTE: 7:25 am Had a problem with my links - they are now fixed!

Of all the Nature Calls that tug on our hearts, perhaps the strongest and deepest is the question,

"Am I loved?"

It's a question that echoes through the most private recesses of our very being. 

We need to be loved. Deeply.

And we need to FEEL loved. Meaningfully.

Gary Chapman, in his books about the Five Love Languages, teaches that we actually speak (and understand) specific love languages.  You are probably familiar with this idea, and it's brilliant.  It really revolutionized how we express love within our family, because we started learning how to "speak" each other's language.  In a nutshell, the languages are:

Quality Time: focused attention, sharing, talking, shared activities

Gift-Giving: visual symbols of love

Physical Touch and Affection: hugs, pats, hand-holding, etc.

Words of Affirmation: verbal appreciation, encouragement

Acts of Service: serving in a sacrificial way

It started making sense that one child would feel loved when I would spend time with him (just watching him play!) and another would feel loved when I would help her clean her room.  I know I sure feel loved when my husband washes dishes or fills the gas tank.  It's more than the words, "I love you," it's the actions that speak right to the heart.

There's a 30 second quiz here.  And here's how to spot your child's love language.

When we meet each other's emotional needs, we "fill our tanks."  In our children, we'll see better behavior (gimme a high five on that) and fewer conflicts (five on the side!)  When their tank is full, they are free to think and grow and BE.  The same is true in marriage.  Oh, I love it when we are speakin the same language!

Today's Small Thing is to spend a few minutes considering your child's (and/or spouse's) Love Language.  Does he beam when you help him with one of his chores?  Is she extra sweet when you've given her a lot of hugs?  Do encouraging words light him up?  Take the easy quizzes and then look for ways to speak their language.

Answering your child's question, "Am I loved?" with a resounding "YES!" will give him security and confidence to go out into a world that is often harsh and unforgiving.  He will have an inner strength and courage to face whatever life brings.

It's what we ALL want.  It's what we ALL need.  And it's ours to give and receive.

POINTS:  30 for taking the 30 second quiz

BONUS: 10 for each family member's language you can identify  (if you're single, go with a room-mate, sibling, parent or friend)

EUREKA!!  This would make a great game to play as a family!  Who's on??

And what's YOUR Love Language?

Song of the Day: Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion

Nature Call #2: Am I Significant?

Don't you love knowing that when you are playing with play-dough or throwing snowballs with your child, you aren't just "wasting time" but you are answering his need to belong?  When children start pestering you to pay attention to them, that's really their heart speaking.

But there's another Question on their hearts that they need an answer for.  It is:

"Am I significant?"

Some of us are still asking that question.  It means "Do I matter?  What is my place in the world?  Do I have value?" The question of significance goes way down deep in our souls.

Your home is the best place to start answering that question.  You can do that for your children by providing opportunities to learn important life skills and develop character. 

That's a fancy way of saying, give them responsibilities and help them gain self-esteem.

OH YEAH!  Chores! Responsibilities!  Feeling good!

Trying to break this "Nature Call" down into one Small Thing is like trying to eat an elephant in one sitting.  So while you think about this concept as a whole, let's just take one little bite of it for today.

Character development and self-esteem come from learning to contribute to your family's operation.  In other words, it's not good for Junior to sit on his rear in front of the TV while you slave away with all the household responsibilities. 

Giving children manageable and age-appropriate chores helps them realize their significance to your family, and eventually to the bigger world.

Your Small Thing today is NOT to create an Excel spreadsheet with a complicated chore chart for your kids.  We can do that some other time.  Today, I want you to think of ONE THING that your child could begin to master, and then imagine how you might help him work toward it.  This could be a chore, but it could also be a life skill, like tying shoes, or riding a bike, or loading a wash machine. 

How can you encourage him to learn this skill?  By making it as do-able and pleasurable as possible.

Finding Significance in life is a gift.  It happens when someone patiently encourages you again and again to keep trying, keep working, keep putting effort into it.  As a parent, it is one of the most exasperating and frustrating experiences.  But it is also one of the most exhilarating.

Because when you're helping your child answer one of his Nature Calls, you're also answering your own. 

POINTS: 30 for identifying a skill/chore to master (perhaps consult with your child on this)

BONUS: 10 for finding a way to encourage it (verbal praise, chart, reward, etc.)

40 points max, even if you have a boatload of kids....

If your children aren't old enough for "life skills" (i.e. still working on that first tooth) or if they are grown, encourage someone you know who is significant in your life by telling them how they've impacted you.  And hey, take 30 points for sharing some Home Sanctuary Love!

Tell us about it!  I LOVE reading what you girls are doing!!!

Song of the Day: Who am I, Casting Crowns

Nature Call #1: Where Do I Belong?

 

 

There are three "Nature Calls" that are indelibly printed on our souls.  They are in the form of questions that we begin asking early in life.  If you have children, they are already asking you these questions, but often in ways we don't recognize.  Creating a Home Sanctuary is all about answering those deep questions of the heart for each family member.  These answers are the foundation that makes your home "feel good."

The first important Question that must be answered is this:

"Where do I belong?"

Your children, your spouse, your loved ones all need to know the answer:

"You belong right here.  You belong to this family.  You belong to me."

That's a powerful, wonderful thought. One really really simple way to create a sense of belonging is by getting to know each other deeply.  See, I have a special bond with the people who know me best, those who have taken the time to see the real me. And because I know how much my husband loves it when I clean the garage or ask him about hockey, his sense of belonging goes off the chart when I do those things. My son knows he belongs when I discuss airplanes with him or listen to some new music he's found.

But there's another way to express belonging, and that's Today's Small Thing.  It's so easy that its significance is often overlooked.

A deep sense of belonging happens when you share experiences and make memories together.  And I'm not talking about ski trips or visits to Disney World. 

I'm talking about the daily moments that take much less effort, but reap far greater rewards. 

It's the popcorn and movies on the couch. 

It's the board games. 

The dish washing. 

The living room wrestling matches.

The bed time stories.

It's the things you do together that are unique to your family.

Making memories is less about creating photo-ops and more about building a life which, when reflected upon, gives you that warm feeling of belonging to something special.  The life you make will never be picture-perfect, but when you've made it together, well. 

You really have something there.

Today's Small Thing:  Do something with someone you love...to build a library of good memories.  Share a story, split a cookie, play a game.  You choose! Let them know how glad you are that they belong to you.

POINTS: 40

Then let us know what you're doing!  After all, we Company Girls belong to each other.

Can you think of other ways to express belonging?  Share your ideas, too!

Song of the Day: You Belong to Me, Jason Wade (Lifehouse)

Don't Ignore Nature's Call

Before embarking on this week of Small Things, I would like you to read (or review) this deeply spiritual story . Many of you have read it before, but for some of the new girls, I'd like to lay the groundwork for a small but incredibly important series on "Nature's Calls." We spend a lot of time on little tasks and things that make your home run better, but creating a sanctuary for the people you love actually has less to do with that stuff and MORE to do with the things we will talk about this week. So let's dive in.

Ahem, the story in the above link....go ahead and click on it first, and then continue:

Are you back? Great! You know, it's amazing how God has made our physical bodies.  They work beautifully when you take care of them like you're supposed to.  He's put natural laws in place that you just can't ignore without some serious repercussions. 

You must eat. 

You must sleep. 

You must go to the bathroom.

That's the way we're made to function.

And just like our physical selves have built-in needs, our emotional selves do, too.  Emotional "nature calls," you could say.  They are needs that must be met or there will be serious consequences.

But I've made you read too much today, so I will talk about those Nature Calls the rest of this week along with our Small Things!  I LOVE this subject because it affects our Sanctuaries so profoundly.  Promise you'll stay tuned each day?

So for today, let's take care of the physical Nature Call Center and give your potties a quick scrub.  Do it fast and move on.  Don't forget the outside and handles (the germiest parts) and then - hang on for the rest of this week! 

POINTS: 30 for cleaning one toilet

BONUS POINTS: 10 for each additional toilet you might have.

Song of the Day: It's the Natural Thing to Do, Bing Crosby

Company Girl Coffee 4.22

Good Friday greetings to you, Company Girls.

I've been deep in thought about the events leading up to the Easter resurrection.....the arrival of Jesus and his disciples in Jerusalem, the passover, the betrayal, the midnight trials, sentencing and crucifixion that filled those hours. It seems to me that all of creation, the angels and eternity were holding their breath at the gravity of those moments. The perfect Son of God was about to bear the sin of the world and the punishment for it...so that grace and forgiveness could be poured out on all who believe in His resurrection and power.

It's amazing.

And frighteningly wonderful.

I'm looking forward to gathering with other believers in remembrance at church tonight, and I can't wait to celebrate His resurrection on Sunday. This is what the Christian life is all about.

A celebration of grace.

I welcome each of you to link up below for our weekly Company Girl Coffee time. It is a simple way for bloggers to connect with each other, AND for non-bloggers to share whatever is going on in their lives by chatting in the comments. If the linkytool is not working, simply put your link into the comments today.

How will you celebrate Easter this year? Do you plan to attend a Good Friday service? What does Easter mean to you? We'd love to know your thoughts!

PS There is no Small Thing today, in honor of Good Friday. 

Song of the Day: When I Survey the Wondrous Cross, Kathryn Scott

Learning to Fly

When you're learning something new, don't you just envy the people who make it look sooo easy? It doesn't matter if it's a skill like knitting or a game like hockey, their years of experience give them confidence to do unconsciously well what takes our supreme effort to do poorly.

My husband, Tom, taught his hockey team that there are 4 levels of learning a new skill:

1. Unconscious Inability - You don't know what you don't know

2. Conscious Inability - Now you know what you don't know

3. Conscious Ability - You have to really work at being able to do it

4. Unconscious Ability - Now you can do it well without even thinking about it

It occurred to me that this sports lesson is perfectly applicable to almost anything in life, even our home lives. We all start out fumbling with operating washing machines and diapering wiggly babies. It's tempting to look at women who have been at it longer and think we'll never make it look that easy. 

But I've learned that if you keep after something long enough, it does get easier. The trick is in not giving up before you get to the level of Unconscious Ability. Parenting, marriage, home-management, cooking....they are skills that get better with time and repeated effort.

Today's Small Thing is to practice flying. What are you learning to do well? Preparing a nice meal, folding a load of clothes right from the dryer, being patient with your children, organizing your day, or having personal devotions might be some things you're working on. Why, what a coincidence! Those are all on MY list!

Or maybe you're learning to fly as a single parent, as a new mom, or at a new job. Major life changes will require extra time to be able to soar. Don't give up before you succeed!  Just keep flapping!

POINTS: 50 for consciously learning to fly in some small way today, (a craft or new skill...you choose)

Let us know: In what areas are you learning to fly and what level are you working through?  Add 10 points for sharing! (That's point frosting on the cake!)

Song of the Day: Learning to Fly, Tom Petty

The Important Things

Star Telegram photo by Paul Mosely

 

My parents had to leave their home in west Texas as a precaution for approaching wildfires, which have been burning out of control for several days. They had just a couple of hours to gather some belongings and a couple changes of clothes before heading to my brother's house a safe distance away. They were fortunate to have "extra" time that many people in the area did not have, as fires raced through communities before they could grab their most precious treasures.

Seeing my parents' situation has gotten me to think about the important things in my home - the things I would gather in an emergency. Are they easy to locate? Could I get to them quickly? Do I have a fireproof safe for my documents and valuables?

Unfortunately, it would be hard for me to put my hands on many of the things I treasure. Boxes of photos and mementos are in an upstairs closet. Kids' macaroni-and-beans-glued-on-paper crafts are in the tack room in the barn, along with years of objects and collections that are stored there. Our marriage license, birth certificates and legal documents are in a file cabinet. Thousands of photos are on the computer. 

Today's Small Thing is to make a Grab and Go Plan. Of course, the most important thing to do in an emergency is to get yourself to safety. But let's say you had a few moments to put your hands on some important things.....what would you grab? Would you know where to look for those items? Simply thinking ahead (or better yet, making a list) of those top priority things could make a world of difference.

POINTS: 40 for working on your plan. Put your important documents into one spot (hopefully a fireproof safe), and imagine how you would find your most treasured possesions.

Read more about my folks over here....and send up a prayer for them (and their community) would you?

Song of the Day: Simple Things, Jim Brickman

Heaven Help the Hounds

 

 

Glenda, at Wren and Stitchy, sent me some great Small Things suggestions a couple years ago.  One especially jumped right out at me, because I've tackled this very issue quite often and have THOROUGHLY enjoyed the results of my surprisingly little effort.

Glenda suggests cleaning doggie doors if you have them: 

We have two doggie doors and they need a good cleaning about every six months. It’s pretty gross how the oils from the dogs’ bodies and the mucus from wet doggie noses builds up on those doors, but it happens so slowly that I don’t notice it until they’re so gunked up you can’t see out them. It takes all of ten minutes to degunk them, but now they’re degunked and the dogs can see if there are any birds that need to be chased out of the yard, without having to actually go out into the yard to check first — something very much appreciated by said dogs when it’s 100+ degrees outside . (Oh yes, they are definitely spoiled to living in A/C!!)

I don't have doggie doors, but I have a doggie area where the old guy sleeps and eats.  Ugh, what a slob. And the dog hair he sheds is no laughing matter.

What does your pet area(s) look like? 

Today's Small Thing is to tidy up your pet areas.  Those nasty bowls could use a good scrubbing and a sweep around them to pick up the crumbs.  If you have a dog or kitty bed, give it a good shake or vacuuming if you can.  And should we talk about cat litter boxes???  Nah, I didn't think so.

Somehow I think our four-legged friends appreciate our efforts to spruce up their domains, even though they keep quiet about it.  There's something classy about seeing them eat from a clean dish and I think it helps their self image. (Not that cats need help feeling even more superior!)

Thank you again, Glenda for this excellent Small Thing!  Ya'll be sure and stop over and check out her creative and inspiring blog!  Did I mention she's from Texas?  Yee-haw!

POINTS:  20  for cleaning up the dishes and food area

BONUS POINTS:  20 for cleaning up any other pet mess.....

40 pts max, (this is for any pets, not just dogs and cats)

Sorry, non-pet people!  I'll make it up to you somehow....

Song of the Day: You Ain't Nothin But a Hound Dog, Elvis