Home Sanctuary

Four Things About Letting Go

I'm talking about "learning to let go" at Raising Generations Today.

If you're struggling with the things you should have done better while your kids were little, or you're just wishing you could hang on to that young adult a little longer, I hope you'll find some help here.

 

And hey:

 

 

Pop over and say hello to me over there! Raising Generations Today is an awesome group of encouraging women, endeavoring to help moms in every part of their mothering journey. There is even a conference coming up this fall!

I'm honored that they've asked me to share my thoughts on raising teens and young adults, as well as the "empty nest." The blog world is strangely quiet about these important years, and I know I'm not alone in searching for encouragement and help during this phase of parenting.

Join me! I'm Learning to Let Go.

Behold, Your King Comes To You

It's Holy Week, and I'm distracted by a lot of things: work, unexpected events, an upcoming book launch, my hair that needs a root-touch up. An art installation has gone long, cramming this week's thoughtful meditations on the sufferings of Christ into a Cliff-Notes version.

I hate it when this happens.

Last night, we got home late from the said art installation (I know, on Palm Sunday) and ate our pizza in front of the TV. There was a little phrase that had been going around in my head all day, and after awhile I left PBS's episode of Selfridge to go look it up.

 

"Behold, your King."

 

Behold, your King. Now, where did that come from?

Turns out, I wrote about this very phrase several years ago on this blog. I think I needed to revisit it. And what perfect timing for this week.

 

 

It all came back to me with startling freshness. Behold.....

 

My king, on a donkey.

 

But allow me to let you read my thoughts from that post in 2009 by starting here, in which I bawled my head off in a big, ugly cry....

And finished here: Zechariah 9:9. Here is a little excerpt:

 

...the donkey here is significant, not only because Jesus fulfilled this prophecy literally, but because a king riding on a donkey would be a ludicrous sight! Why, his feet would almost drag on the ground as the lowly beast of burden carried him along! A king on a donkey clearly shows that He comes in peace and gentleness.  He is down at the level of the people, where they could touch Him and speak to Him, not up on a high horse or imposing chariot. Jesus took the humblest of creatures to make His triumphant entry.  

So typical of Him. 

He tenderly leads, carefully rules, and graciously uses the lowliest for His glory.

 

What a King.

 

Maybe your week is looking like mine: busier than you'd like, and no way to really change that.

Maybe you're trying to get into the spirit of Easter and all the remembrance and holiness stuff, and it's just not working for you.

Let me suggest this: simply meditate on Jesus. See, in your mind's eye, a king on a donkey.

Gentle, righteous and merciful.

Approachable and kind.

Loving, and bringing peace.

This. is our King.

Oh, that we could open our eyes and truly SEE Him.

 

Behold, your King comes to you.

 

I'm praying for you this week. I'd love to hear your thoughts on Easter week, and I'd love to know what you think of when you envision your King in this way.

 

With love,

Rachel

In Which I Am Interviewed About Flash, Fears, and Finding Lessons

 

Good morning, my sweet Company Girls!

 

 

As I get closer and closer to my book launch date, I feel more and more grateful for all the people who have encouraged me along the way. Each comment, each email, each time someone has said something kind...well, it's put wind in my sails for this long journey I've been on.

I think that's what companionship is all about, and you all have been amazing!

I was recently interviewed by Sharon Leavitt of Tyndale House Publishers, and I want to share it with you today. Are you a podcast listener like I am? I love to listen to a conversation or a talk someone's given–often when I'm washing dishes or folding clothes. It makes the "mindless" tasks go by quickly!

So, hey. Whatever you're doing, turn your speakers up and enjoy! 

 

Flash-Podcast

 If you're unable to see the button, click to my blog here.

 

Here are some Question Highlights:

  

• So, how did you end up with a donkey, of all things?

 

• How did a stray donkey wind up becoming the catalyst and inspiration for the book?

 

• What type of audience did you write this book for?

 

• In your book you talk about overcoming your fear of taking risks. What are you doing now that you never thought you’d do?

 

• Is there a common principle that readers might take away from the book, especially if they are faced with something that appears to be a problem?

 

• Is this a book just for "animal people?"

 

I hope you'll take a few minutes and listen in!

And tell me, what question would YOU like to ask me?

 

 

 

 

Available for Preorder

It's Monday: Let's Deal with Some Hang Ups, Shall We?

Some of you have no problems whatsoever. That's cool, that's cool. 

Yep. Good on ya.

But the rest of us? Let's just say we have some hang ups.

Especially in our closets.

 

Hey, let's create some sanctuary with an easy little task, shall we?

See, when I walk into my (tiny) closet, there are usually one or two items that have decided to slide off their hangers and relax on the floor. They obviously don't have the strength to shoulder the waiting in there, so with a nonchalant shrug, they leave their spot on the rod for better times on the carpet.

There are also the clothing items that drape themselves over chairs, ends of beds and dusty exercise equipment because they are too tired to march themselves into the closet and retire to the hangers like good soldiers.

It's pathetic.

And I have to get after the coats and sweaters, who, after a long winter of endless service, are finding it difficult to keep hanging on to their hooks. No matter how many times I scold them, they lack the willpower to stay put. I know it's because there are too many of them and they're feeling crowded, but it's as if they've given up and think summer will never come again. There are always one or two despondent items in a crumpled heap of despair on the floor. 

I won't even tell you about the clean-but-unsorted laundry that only WISHES it could be hung neatly in the closet. Day after day it sits, its wrinkles becoming set as the basket is dug through for the undies and socks that lay like buried treasures within its depths. The button-down shirts are particularly angry, but they've always got a bit of an attitude.

So uptight!

So, for those of you Company Girls with no hang-ups to deal with, today is a day for patting yourself on the back and feeling proud.  

For the rest of us, we should do some personal therapy by handling our "issues" one at a time.

 

Here's a Sanctuary Small Thing:

Hang up the lazy, unmotivated or simply wistful clothing items that are laying around the house. 

 

Some of them need to be put in their place with a good talking-to, and others will thank you for the chance to hang with the big boys.

 

What did you hang up today? How long has it been waiting to be dealt with? Confession time!

Prayers for Your Teen/Young Adult Kid - Free Printables

Recently, I sent a newsletter to my email subscribers - almost 10,000 people - with a couple of printable prayers for your teen and young adult kids. I've received so many emails in return, saying "thank you" and "this is just what I need," that I thought I'd go ahead and share them here on the blog.

 

Now, not everyone who reads my blog shares my views on faith and prayer, and that's OK. My posts seem to land more on the "inspirational" side of things...it's where I feel most comfortable in this online space. But sometimes, my faith sort of leaks out all over the place, and that's especially true when I'm talking about matters of my heart. And there is nothing that touches my heart more than my kids, even now as adults.

 

If you are searching for the right words to pray, here are some to get you started. The green button below will take you to the printable pdf's. At the bottom of this post are low res "previews" so you can see what the prints look like. Nothing fancy...just simple stuff from a mom's heart.

 

 { My Gift to You Today - Free }

 

 

I hope you are a newsletter subscriber,so you'll be sure and get special emails like this one with the printable prayers. My next newsletter comes out in April, and I don't want you to miss it!

 

 

 

 

Prayer for Teen/Young Adult Son

 

 

 

Prayer for Teen/Young Adult Daughter

 

 

 

Hockey Hair, Salad, and Warriors?

I did not know, when I met a cute boy from Minnesota and rushed into marriage with him, that he'd grown up on hockey skates. I mean, when you only date for six months, there's a chance you'll never get around to some of the more serious issues of life before you tie the knot. Premarital counseling would have been beneficial, but of course, we didn't have time for that.

All was quiet on the hockey front in our home, until the North Stars became the Dallas Stars and built a rink in our area so that people in Texas could fall in love with the coolest game on ice. Lucky for us, we had a six year old boy, and by this time my Minnesotan husband was itching to coach our cub in the ways of stick-handling and goal-scoring.

 

First Shoulder Pads

 

And thus began my fifteen year run as a rink-side Hockey Mom.

From mini-mites to the high school and collegiate levels, it's been a lot of fun.

 

My Favorite Aggie Defenseman

 

Every single time I've watched my son play, I've said a prayer of thanks. (Along with a prayer for safety, of course. Please, Lord, may he keep all his teeth.)

 

 

And at every single game, I've thought about all the kids in this world with physical challenges, who would love to have one minute on the ice without pain, or without a wheelchair, or without their disability. I've thought about all the moms who would love to have one minute of standing rink-side, with toes frozen, to pound on the glass for their kid.

Cheering at the top of your lungs as your kid plays sports is a luxury, not a given. 

 

Which brings me to hockey hair, salad, and warriors.

 

At our house, one of the highlights of recent years has been keeping up with the State of Hockey (Minnesota) High School Championships, and the hilarious "All Hockey Hair" videos. I'm not sure who narrates these, but a guy nominates the top "salads," or hairstyles of the kids on the ice. I love his dry sense of humor and use of all the hockey hair lingo. No doubt he'd say my son has some pretty serious "flow."

This year the hockey gear company, Warrior, is sponsoring the All Hockey Hair team by donating $15,000 to the Hendrickson Foundation, which benefits Special Hockey, Sled Hockey, and the military through USA Warriors. USA Warriors is an amazing group that helps disabled vets compete on sleds, and works with special needs kids so that they can play, too. Watching these veterans zoom around on the ice and experience the thrill of competing is just wonderful, especially knowing that they've made such incredible physical sacrifices to serve our country.

 

You can support this donation by simply watching the video. There's no catch...just have some fun.

 

Here is this year's team, celebrating the best in high school hockey hair...and helping some terrific warriors along the way.

Click here to see the video. 

If you're interested in helping USA Warriors more, you can donate here.

 

Tell me, do your kids play sports? What's your favorite memory from the years of going to practices and games?

 

The Day I Met Jesus - New Book!

Interview with Frank Viola & Mary DeMuth on The Day I Met Jesus.

 

Ever pick up a book and have your jaw drop in the opening sentences? That's what happened when I started reading the new book, The Day I Met Jesus, by Frank Viola and Mary DeMuth. I learned something about a character in the Bible I never knew before, even though I'd read the story scores of times.

Five women of the New Testament come to life in this book, as each tells her own story, in her own words. Mary has skillfully woven scenes and dialogue that leap off the pages. I saw each of them in a new way–full of hopes, fear, failures and imperfections–and I loved how their encounters with Jesus challenged them, changed them, and gave them hope. 

 

The Day I Met Jesus

 

One thing I love to do when I get a new book is find out about the authors. I thought you might enjoy this interview with Frank and Mary today!

Be sure and read all the way to the end, where there are some fabulous FREEBIES for you if you purchase the book by March 17!

 

Without further ado....here is the interview:

 

Why did you write this book?

 

Frank: Back in 2007, I got an idea to create a new genre of Christian literature. I call that genre "biblical narrative." 

 

The new genre would contain autobiographical fiction closely based on the Scriptural narratives and faithful to first-century history. It would also contain a nonfiction section that practically applies the narratives to our lives. Finally, it would include a discussion guide so that readers could better digest and apply the content.

 

God's Favorite Place on Earth (2013) was my first book in this genre. In it, Lazarus tells the story of when Jesus came to His hometown Bethany and all the amazing things that took place there.

 

The Day I Met Jesus (2015) is the second book in this genre. I wanted it to tell the story of five women whom Jesus encountered, allowing each woman tell their own story. I also wanted to draw out practical lessons and critical insights from each narrative.

 

Because I'm not a woman, I couldn't do justice to the stories on my own, so I asked the top female Christian fiction writer of our time -- Mary DeMuth -- to coauthor it with me. 

 

Mary: I wrote it because I love stories, and I felt that some of these encounters with Jesus didn't get the air time they deserved. By doing careful research and weaving more of a story arc into the five women's encounter, I hope to show people that the "characters" of the New Testament are actual, breathing people with stress and dysfunction and hopes just like us. Frank pioneered the idea of this book, so all credit goes to him for imagining it. I'm grateful he asked me to be a part.

 

 

Tell us the story of how you two came to coauthor it.

 

Mary: Frank wrote God's Greatest Place on Earth and had long wanted to do something similar with five women of the New Testament. He approached me about writing the fiction side of The Day I Met Jesus after he found out I wrote fiction as well as nonfiction. 

 

 

Frank: When I began to think about a female coauthor for the project, I wanted it to be someone who (1) writes fiction (2) is a remarkable writer, and (3) believes in the classic tenets of the Christian faith (Jesus is divine and human, He rose again from the dead, Jesus is Lord and Savior of the world, etc.)

 

As I investigated authors who fit the bill, I quickly thought of folks like Francine Rivers and Karen Kingsbury. But then I discovered that Mary DeMuth wrote fiction. I had known that she was a non-fiction writer, but had no idea that she could "switch hit." 

 

I also discovered that she was an outstanding writer of fiction as she was of nonfiction. (I regard Mary to be the Mickey Mantle of Christian literature -- she has enormous power from both sides!) So Mary ended up being the only name on my "short list." 

 

You feature five women from the Gospels. Why pick women in particular as your subjects?

 

Frank: Some of the most gripping, instructive, inspiring stories in the Gospels involve women. The longest recorded conversation that Jesus ever had was with a woman. And some of the most amazing things He said and did related to women. So I thought that a book in which some of these women told their own stories about Jesus would not only bring the Gospels to life in our minds, but it would also bring Jesus alive in our hearts.

 

 

Mary: Women had significant, personal encounters with Jesus, a fact that we sometimes miss, particularly since so many stories revolve around the 12 disciples (who were men). I love that we're elevating these stories, helping people reimagine just how radical it was that Jesus so beautifully interacted with these women.

 

 

 

Which one is your favorite and why?

 

Mary: For me, it's hard to say. I love them all in different ways. This week, I'll say it's Mary of Bethany. She didn't have a blatant "need" for Jesus. She was just downright faithful and often misunderstood. I think a lot of people can relate to that.

 

 

 

 

Frank: Mary of Bethany is my all-time favorite disciple of Jesus. This came home to me when I wrote God's Favorite Place on Earth. (Mary was the sister of Lazarus, so she gets ample airtime in that book.)

 

I love Mary because she knew Jesus better than most, anticipating His reactions and even His impending death. She also paid the price for loving Him, for she was falsely accused by both her sister and the other disciples (on two different occasions), mostly out of jealousy. In both situations, Mary embraced the spirit of the Lamb, refusing to defending herself. But Jesus Himself rose to her defense on both occasions. He also gave her an enduring honor that He gave no one else. 

 

Why would someone want to read the book?

 

Frank: If someone wants a good story to get tied up into . . . or if they want to see the Bible come to life in a compelling way . . . or if they want to experience Jesus Christ anew and afresh . . . or if they want to identify with people who were far worse off than they are, and see what Jesus did for them . . . or if they want to be given hope and encouragement in their situation . . . or if they are lacking love for the Lord and want that love to be rekindled . . . or if they want new motivation and fresh inspiration to follow Jesus more closely, they'll want to read The Day I Met Jesus.

 

Mary: Someone would want to read it because it's truly unique. It's biblical narrative, but in short story form, but it doesn't end there. After you've been absorbed into a page-turning story, Frank exegetes the wisdom from each encounter and helps you apply it to your life. 

 

 

 

Tell us about the course that supplements the book.

Frank: The Day I Met Jesus Master Course is designed for those who wish to delve deeper into the themes set forth in the book. It includes a workbook and 20 audio messages delivered by Mary and I. In addition, it includes 8 bonus eBooks from Mary and I. It also includes a closed forum where people can access us both directly for Q&A and dialogue. People can check it out at http://www.thedayimetjesus.com/course

 

 

Tell us what readers get if they purchase it from March 3rd to March 17th from Parable.com.

Frank: They'll get these 7 exclusive bonuses. 

1. An exclusive audio interview where Mary and I give a behind-the-scenes look at all the facets of the book. The interview covers where the idea of the book came from, why we wrote the book, what it was like collaborating, the hardest part about writing it, and much more. 

2. Mary's Book, Beautiful Battle in Kindle & Nook. 

3. My Book, Rethinking Spiritual Growth in PDF, Kindle, and Nook. 

4. A never-before-released audio conference message entitled "A Woman Inside of a Man."  

5. Mary's Book What To Do After People Poop on You in PDF. 

6. A never-before-released audio conference message entitled "He's Not Ashamed to Call Them Brothers and Sisters." 

7. A 15% discount off The Day I Met Jesus Master Course. 

 

Click here to order The Day I Met Jesus from Parable before March 17th and get your 7 exclusive bonuses.

 

I loved getting to know these women from their personal perspectives, and the practical applications in each chapter were both thought-provoking and inspiring. I know you'll enjoy this book, too!

 

Tell me: If you have encountered Jesus, how has it changed you?

Snowmen, Donkeys, and Unexpected Reflections

 

It snowed real snow on Wednesday night. For Texans, snow is cause to go outside and play.

In the morning we find these guys, Flash and Henderson (aka "Henry"), standing in the early sun, clearly enjoying the warm rays on their thick coats. For the first time in over a week of rain and sleet, they are finally dry. Tom and I scratch them all over, and they literally doze in the attention.

 

 

 

It's been over five months since Henry came to live with us. He and Flash have had some rocky moments, but we notice that they stand closer together these days. They huddle in the sleet. Their fighting seems more like playing. The grudges don't last as long as they once did.

And this morning, we see this: Flash grooming Henry. He is gently scratching Henry's back with his teeth.

I nearly cry.

They've come so far.

 

 

 

I don't remember the last time I made a snowman, and when Tom goes inside I can't resist making one in the back pasture. I pack a ball of snow and begin to roll it, slowly making it bigger and bigger. I smooth the edges and put the first ball in place. I begin the next ball. And suddenly, a thought comes, unexpected, unbidden.

I should be making this with Collin.

He should be here.

Collin. He was the baby I was pregnant with, who died when we were in a car accident along our country road. He would be eleven now. We would go sliding, have a snowball fight and drink hot cocoa together.

What would he look like?

Would he love the outdoors, like his big brother does?

 

How I miss him.

I keep rolling, packing, smoothing, stacking. I add small stones for eyes and a mouth. A carrot for a nose.

 

 

 

Funny how you can feel a pang of sorrow at the same time that you're experiencing joy. The sky is blue, the air crisp, and then this snowman...well, it makes me swallow hard, and feel so wistful. I try not to think of the sadness very often. I make my armor watertight, and I keep my game face on. But sometimes, out of nowhere, I spring a leak.

sigh.

 

I turn to see Flash, inspecting the new visitor to his pasture, and my sudden melancholy moment evaporates as I'm pulled back into the present.

The sky is still blue. The air crisp. I'm in a pasture, on a Thursday morning, with a gentle beast and a pocketful of carrots. There is goodness here, and delight. I can't forget that.

I watch the following interaction with a grin.

 

 "Hey, man! Are you new around here?"

 

 

"I sure do like that nose you got there. Mind if I just sniff it?"

 

 

 "I wonder if it tastes as good as it smells? Sorry, I just can't help myself..."

 

 

 "Mmmm! Yep, it tastes just as good as it smells!"

 

 

 "Oops. Was that wrong?"

 

I still haven't figured out this whole journey of life.

I don't know why things happen the way they do. I don't know why babies are lost, or why some relationships take so long to smooth out. I don't know why I've failed at some of the things I wanted most to be good at, or why other things have come so easily. I don't know how it's possible to ache with loss and yet feel joy at the very same time.

I still don't know how I came to have a couple of donkeys in my pasture, but here we are.

 

All I know is that on days like today, the best thing to do is to close my eyes and lift my face to the sky. I whisper, "Thank you." Through the hard times, and the good times, You are here.

And I can still smile.

 

Just like this guy. 

 

Where are you on your journey? Do you sometimes "spring a leak" when you least expect it? Today, raise your face upwards and offer thanks for where you are.

Like me, you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

Love, Rachel

 

 

 

Available for Preorder

I See Blue and Black. What Do You See?

 

What color is this dress?

 

 

It's the photo that went mega-viral last week. 

The first time I saw it online, I could clearly see that it was white and gold. I wondered what all the fuss was about. Later, I pulled the photo up on my ipad, and I realized it was DEFINITELY periwinkle blue and black.

I asked my husband, Tom, to look at it.

"White and gold," he declared.

"Nope!" I said. "Guess again."

And then we argued about it, just like millions of people did all around the world.

I texted the photo to my friend Priscilla, who said it was white and gold. 

 

 

 

And then a moment later, she looked back at the picture.....

 

 

Turns out, it's all about how our brains are interpreting the light coming into our brains.

 

We are all seeing the same thing, but our minds are interpreting the information in different ways. Some see a white dress that is "obviously" in some kind of shadow, while others see a blue dress that is being illuminated brightly. Both interpretations are accounting for the colors we think we see. We've taken the data and subconsciously put it through our own filters to decide the color of the dress.

It made me think about other situations, where two people can see or experience the same thing, and come away with completely different memories about what happened.

Like how sometimes, my husband and I will reach opposite conclusions at the end of a conversation.

Or how our country can be so deeply divided over political issues that seem so "obvious."

Or how I can mention something off-handedly, and it might offend a friend without me realizing it.

Or how there can be so many church denominations, yet only one Bible.

 

It's all in how we interpret the data.

 

The dress that went viral reminds us that we should be understanding of others.

Tom and I argued (in good fun) over the colors of the dress, but in the end we could see that there was more to this than we understood. We didn't know that there was a whole scientific theory about light, and brains, and interpretations. We only knew that we ought to table the discussion until we had more information. 

 

I wish we could remember to do the same when we have differences of opinion with others, especially with those we love. 

 

Today, step back from a disagreement or confusing situation, and take a deep breath.

 

Maybe each side needs more information. Maybe you are both right. Maybe, just maybe, you are the one in the wrong.

Be mindful that all of us filter everything that comes at us; through our experiences, our personalities, our values, our needs, and our desires.

 

And in the end, having grace for our differences is the thing that really matters.

 

Wouldn't you know, we later learned that neither of us saw the ACTUAL colors of the dress, which were a royal blue and dark black, so we both argued for our incorrect interpretations. We both felt sheepish.

 

So.....what colors did YOU see in the dress? Did you discuss it with friends or family who saw it differently?

*Update: 

A Facebook friend, Cheryl, sent me this quote: "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." ~ Anais Nin

Something to think about, huh?