Hey, let me ask you: When did holidays and events get so over-done? Generally speaking, I mean. And I ask this in the gentlest of tones.
Remember when Halloween was when you dressed as a hobo *again* because you could easily make a costume out of your old clothes? Your mom might put a jack-o-lantern on the porch, but nobody decorated much before the last minute. Now, Halloween decorations and elaborate costumes are trotted out in July in the stores...so you have enough time to prepare.
Birthdays. Please, mamas, please don't tell me you've taken your six year old to a hotel for a weekend of extravagance. Eight year old girls get a spa day, teenagers get elaborate events. Sweet sixteens that are crazy. I kinda miss the backyard parties and lumpy homemade cakes.
Christmas. I can't even.
I've seen parents who rented a stretch Hummer to pick up their middle-schooler to celebrate the last day of school.
Party buses and hotels for Prom nights. Weddings that cost $100,000. Marriage proposals in hot-air balloons, followed by white horse-drawn carriages. Couples leaving their wedding receptions via helicopter.
My question is always: where do you go from there?
If you're treating your child to a five star restaurant at age six, what will he expect when he is fourteen? If you give a BMW to a 16 year old as a first car, what will she want when she graduates college?
I feel like we are setting our kids, and ourselves, up for disappointment in life.
Which brings me to Valentine's day.
How are you preparing your children's expectations for what love looks like?
Are you making this such an extravagant holiday that they will be disappointed for the rest of their lives when the person they marry can only afford a small heart shaped box of Stover's and a card? (Which is PLENTY GOOD, by the way.)
Are you filling the house with such Pinterest awesomeness that they will feel like failures if they forget a centerpiece for the table, a wreath for the door, garland across the fireplace and Sweet Tarts strewn in their beds?
And have you (as I have) fallen prey to the commercials and blogs that set us up to expect our husbands to sweep in and be ah-may-zing for Valentine's Day?
People, we've got to take control of things here.
Take things down a notch, or five.
Let's lower our expectations for Valentine's Day - and every other event and holiday - so we can focus on what really matters:
Love. Friendship. Warmth. Caring. Kindness.
Let's pinky-swear that we will simply say, "I love you," to the people who matter to us...and not expect them to blow us away with their gestures of romance and love. Let's teach our children to enjoy the holiday in a special way, without setting an impossible standard for them to replicate as adults. Let's give our husbands some grace on this pressure-filled day.
Let's spread the Valentine love throughout the year.
Listen, I'm the biggest, mushiest, blubberiest sucker for "all things romantic" in the world. I'm not, for anything, saying "don't celebrate!" I LOVE a good holiday, and I love a good holiday that centers around chocolate. There is nothing better!
I'm simply saying, skip the hype. Find the heart of your child, and the heart of your mate, and speak to those. Spend some time at the dinner table, doing a
Round Robin valentine. Read an extra story to your toddler. Take your lingerie out of mothballs for an after-the-kids-are-asleep event. Let your husband know if you'd like some flowers - there is no shame in letting him see what's in your heart. Stop guessing and just LOVE.
And accept that love shouldn't have the bitter aftertaste of credit card bills and everyday life that doesn't measure up.
Today, I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day.
I hope you can skip the hype, and simply savor the heart.
I hope you feel loved and cared for. I love YOU for stopping by my blog today, and for being part of my life. I love that we've found each other through our mutual love of our homes and families. And I love that you let me share what's on my heart.
You are special. You are loved.
Please go have something chocolate to eat - and I will, too! We shall celebrate love and friendship, warmth, caring and kindness today. Together.
Rachel Anne
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