Home Sanctuary

Time to Turn in September Points!

Woo hoo!  It was a great month of Small Things!  Stop me if I've already said this, but I NEED the daily Small Thing tasks to help me focus on what is important...AND to remind me that the little things really do add up.  I love the feeling of accomplishment I have when I see how much we did!

If you are new to Home Sanctuary, today (and each last day of every month) is the day to turn in point tallies if you've been keeping track during the month.  You may have noticed that there are points attached to each Small Thing: just add up the points if you did the tasks on the days assigned, and email the total to me. 

If you had a grand olde time, just reading along without a care in the world and no inclination to participate, don't worry.  You can enter to win a Random Prize for no other reason than "it's fun!"  But I do hope you tried to do AT LEAST one task at some point during the month!  It's kind of like taking a small bite of something you're not sure you'll like...you just never know, you might get hooked.

So let's review:

The month's Most Points Winner will receive an amazing package from Shutterfly.

You will receive THREE free books that you can custom make into priceless treasures.  (5x7, 8x8, and 8x11).  With Shutterfly's easy drag-and-drop system, you can have choose from over 500 designs to personalize photos into beautiful, hard bound books.  This is especially great for digital scrapbookers, or even people like me whose photos are all stuck in my computer (and in shoeboxes).  These would make incredible Christmas gifts for grandparents, or simply keepsakes for your family.

Look at these gorgeous books!

The Random Drawing Winner will receive the book, Parting the Waters, by my new friend who-feels-like-an-old-friend, Jeanne Damoff.

Here is what Mary DeMuth says about the book:

Parting the Waters is a book about authentic, gritty struggle during loss. Author Jeanne Damoff paints a vivid picture of her family's journey through her son's drowning accident, but she does so with broad enough strokes that the reader gleans comfort and wisdom to face any personal tragedy. If you are suffering from grief, worry, shattered expectations, or anger, Parting the Waters is a much-needed oasis to your soul.

Jeanne is one of those truly delightful people that just sparkle with "something" that's hard to put your finger on. Maybe it's a generous spirit, or a cup-half-full attitude.  It could be that she's walked a road that few of us would want to walk...and found beauty there in spite of everything. It's probably all of the above...and I know her story will touch you.  Thank you, Jeanne, for donating this month's book. You rock.

Today's Small Thing requires TWO steps:

1.  Email your point total to me OR your wish to enter the Random Drawing.  (Everyone who emails will be entered in the Random Drawing.)

2.  Leave a comment telling us what your favorite Small Thing activity was this month.  This is a great way for newcomers to see what they'll get to enjoy when they start participating.  And I truly love seeing what your favorites were!

POINTS: 40 for completing both steps, good toward September's tally. 

Yeah, I'm a Believah! (listen to today's groovy song!)

Let There Be Lots

"Let there be lots," sounds like a prayer a shopper might whisper on her way to a mega-closeout sale of, say, a Linens N Things store.  YES, LORD!  May there be many placemat sets, designer comforters and bathroom rugs at rock-bottom prices so that I may glorify Thee with my thriftiness and shewcase the humble abode wherein Thou hast caused me to dwell.

But "let there be lots" is actually Southern-speak for a phrase in Genesis 1, in which God placed a "lot" to rule the heavens during the day, and "lots" to rule the "not". ("Not" is generally when it is dark out.)

Almost a year ago, Elaine, a dear Company Girl over at Mommahen, suggested a Small Thing about "lots" and I thought it was worth bringing back, especially with flu season already underway.

Elaine was doing a deep cleaning of her home before guests arrived and included wiping down the light switches in her preparations.  I was impressed, and I thank her for being such a fine example to follow!  I'm sad to say that I haven't touched mine with cleaner since we did this the first time.

Today's Small Thing is to damp-wipe around those grimy "lot" switches.  It won't take but a minute, I promise!  Start with the ones in the "guest" areas: bathrooms, entries, living rooms, and then work your way through the house.  This is an easy job because there shouldn't be anything baked on or ground in....but I can't guarantee that there won't be jelly or greasy fingerprints. 

You might think this is a silly job (especially when there are bigger fish to fry), but you will feel so ON TOP OF THINGS when you finish, that it will be worth it.  Go ahead...flip those switches for NO REASON AT ALL!  Celebrate your attention to detail!

POINTS: 30 for doing at least the ones in the main living/guest areas.

It's a Jungle in There

The days are long gone in which the population of stuffed animals at our house was that of a small city.  Those cuddly pets started arriving before the first baby came home and they just proliferated from there.  With every birthday, holiday and hospitalization came new species of animals, in all shapes and sizes.

At one point, my man built a shelf that ran the perimeter of the girls' room just to house the critters and keep them from overtaking every inch of the floor.

As the kids got older, I managed to pare down the zoo to a manageable number of favorites.  A friend asked Lauren why on earth she named her favorite bear, "Pinky," when he was a lovely shade of dingy gray.  He got loved on quite a bit and Lauren hadn't even noticed that he wasn't pink anymore. 

Now that's true love.

And Meghan had her Tigger and "Slimy," a green, bean-filled mole that was a constant companion for many years.  Slimy was great to tote around because he was so slouchy and relaxed.  He's lost a lot of beans in his lifetime, but he's still good to go with a couple of stitches here and there.

Even Grayson had Buddy, a soft little stuffed boy that kept him company at night.  We didn't mind him having a buddy...just don't call him a doll.

These days, the last remaining stuffed animals are all crammed into a large basket in the corner of the girls' room.  It's a little sad, seeing those mementos of a childhood gone by.  Darn it, now I'm going to start crying!  Let's just keep it moving here by talking about Today's Small Thing.

Today's Small Thing is to rein in the herds of stuffed animals (and toys) and organize them a bit.  They really don't mind being corralled and if you ask me, they seem to like having boundaries. 

Do you have too many?  Consider helping your child give some away, but NOT their favorites no matter how shabby they've become.  Those are for memories and for reminding you of the fleeting wonder of childhood.  You'll be glad you saved the ones they loved best.

POINTS: 50 for calling on Animal Control to round up the strays

If stuffed animals aren't a problem at your house, you can earn your points on toys or kids' belongings.

Grand Central

Ridge Grand Central Station

This is our home's Grand Central Station on a good day.  Only one textbook on the table! Just one backpack!  But believe me, there are days that it looks like thousands of people have funneled through on their way to school and activities.  I've spared you that mess.

The one thing that never changes is the "traffic obstruction," permanently located right where you'll have to step OVER it.  Yeah, it's furry and it slobbers.

Our Grand Central isn't a well-planned feature of our house.  It's the back door that works as our front door because the front door is located where no one uses it.  Anyway, we trek right through this kitchen area every time we go anywhere, so naturally, all the baggage and paperwork from every trip gets dumped here if we aren't vigilant.

Where is YOUR Grand Central?  Do your travelers leave a trail of belongings behind them? 

Today's Small Thing is to do some maintenance duty in the depot.  Pick up the dropped ticket stubs and trash, the overcoats and hats, the bags and luggage that weary commuters leave "for later." 

It will feel so good to walk into your station and NOT be greeted by a train wreck!  You might even feel like canceling your next trip in order to enjoy some terminal beauty.

POINTS: 40 for depot duty

Scroll down to the next post for Company Girl Coffee!

Company Girl Coffee 9.25

Warning: Reading and viewing this post may cause loss of appetite, involuntary shudders, gagging and general heebie-jeebies.  Any adverse reaction could be harmful to your mental health and should be monitored by people who know better than to post dreadful items.

Guess what I found in one of our garbage cans yesterday?  Besides the disgusting water sitting in the bottom from all the rain.

Something small and furry.  Something that is "almost" cute as a baby and then grows up to be a hideous creature with yellow teeth and a rat-like tail.

A possum.

Pretending to be dead is not a myth.

This possum probably dropped down into the can from a tree, and then couldn't get out.  I saw him all hunched in the corner and gently said, "awwww, hey there little guy!"

Then he turned his hideous face toward me and showed his horrid teeth and beady blue eyes, and I froze in terror before running for my life. Oh, the sickness! The revulsion!

I returned later with my strapping teenage son, who then proceeded to scare the living daylights out of me by hitting the can and saying "WATCH OUT" just as I peered in.

Girls, I screamed so loud and ran so fast I was like a bat out of you-know-where!  I came to my senses on my hands and knees in the grass, yelling "I will kill you for this!" to that kid, who was doubled over in laughter.

"Mom! I've never heard you scream like that before!" he managed to say. "It's DISTURBING!"

Yeah, disturbing, alright.  I'm disturbed that he thinks that was funny!  If you've ever seen one of these things up close, you know you will be haunted by their evil visage forever.  My scream was primal, honey. I don't even know where it came from.

Well, I am sorry for making you look into a disgusting trash can with a gross possum in it just before having a lovely coffee time with your nicer, classier friends.  Perhaps they will entertain you with sweet stories of fine china and genteel dining, or Sunday strolls in beautiful parks.

Let's hope.

Link up for a virtual cup of coffee with friends!  Add a link to your blog (preferably a specific post)...the subject is up to you!  Then try and visit as many blogs as you can and get to know some awesome Company Girls!  Easy and fun.

Nature Call #3: Am I Loved?

Of all the Nature Calls that tug on our hearts, perhaps the strongest and deepest is the question,

"Am I loved?"

It's a question that echoes through the most private recesses of our very being. 

We need to be loved. Deeply.

And we need to FEEL loved. Meaningfully.

Gary Chapman, in his books about the Five Love Languages, teaches that we actually speak (and understand) specific love languages.  You are probably familiar with this idea, and it's brilliant.  It really revolutionized how we express love within our family, because we started learning how to "speak" each other's language.  In  nutshell, the languages are:

Quality Time: focused attention, sharing, talking, shared activities

Gift-Giving: visual symbols of love

Physical Touch and Affection: hugs, pats, hand-holding, etc.

Words of Affirmation: verbal appreciation, encouragement

Acts of Service: serving in a sacrificial way

It started making sense that one child would feel loved when I would spend time with him (just watching him play!) and another would feel loved when I would help her clean her room.  I know I sure feel loved when my husband washes dishes or fills the gas tank.  It's more than the words, "I love you," it's the actions that speak right to the heart.

There's a 30 second quiz here.  And here's how to spot your child's love language.

When we meet each other's emotional needs, we "fill our tanks."  In our children, we'll see better behavior (gimme a high five on that) and fewer conflicts (five on the side!)  When their tank is full, they are free to think and grow and BE.  The same is true in marriage.  Oh, I love it when we are speakin the same language!

Today's Small Thing is to spend a few minutes considering your child's (and/or spouse's) Love Language.  Does he beam when you help him with one of his chores?  Is she extra sweet when you've given her a lot of hugs?  Do encouraging words light him up?  Take the easy quizzes and then look for ways to speak their language.

Answering your child's question, "Am I loved?" with a resounding "YES!" will give him security and confidence to go out into a world that is often harsh and unforgiving.  He will have an inner strength and courage to face whatever life brings.

It's what we ALL want.  It's what we ALL need.  And it's ours to give and receive.

POINTS:  30 for taking the 30 second quiz

BONUS: 10 for each family member's language you can identify  (if you're single, go with a room-mate, sibling, parent or friend)

EUREKA!!  This would make a great game to play as a family!  Who's on??

And what's YOUR Love Language?

Nature Call #2: Am I Significant?

Don't you love knowing that when you are playing with play-dough or throwing snowballs with your child, you aren't just "wasting time" but you are answering his need to belong?  When children start pestering you to pay attention to them, that's really their heart speaking.

But there's another Question on their hearts that they need an answer for.  It is:

"Am I significant?"

Some of us are still asking that question.  It means "Do I matter?  What is my place in the world?  Do I have value?" The question of significance goes way down deep in our souls.

Your home is the best place to start answering that question.  You can do that for your children by providing opportunities to learn important life skills and character development. 

That's a fancy way of saying give them responsibilities and help them gain self-esteem.

OH YEAH!  Chores! Responsibilities!  Feeling good!

Trying to break this "Nature Call" down into one Small Thing is like trying to eat an elephant in one sitting.  So while you think about this concept as a whole, let's just take one little bite of it for today.

Character development and self-esteem come from learning to contribute to your family's operation.  In other words, it's not good for Junior to sit on his rear in front of the TV while you slave away with all the household responsibilities. 

Giving children manageable and age-appropriate chores helps them realize their significance to your family, and eventually to the bigger world.

Your Small Thing today is NOT to create an Excel spreadsheet with a complicated chore chart for your kids.  We can do that some other time.  Today, I want you to think of ONE THING that your child could begin to master, and then imagine how you might help him work toward it.  This could be a chore, but it could also be a life skill, like tying shoes or riding a bike or loading a wash machine. 

How can you encourage him to learn this skill?  Make it as do-able and pleasurable as possible.

Finding Significance in life is a gift.  It happens when someone patiently encourages you again and again to keep trying, keep working, keep putting effort into it.  As a parent, it is one of the most exasperating and frustrating experiences.  But it is also one of the most exhilarating.

Because when you're helping your child answer one of his Nature Calls, you're also answering your own. 

POINTS: 30 for identifying a skill/chore to master (perhaps consult with your child on this)

BONUS: 10 for finding a way to encourage it (verbal praise, chart, reward, etc.)

40 points max, even if you have a boatload of kids....

If your children aren't old enough for "life skills" (i.e. still working on that first tooth) or if they are grown, encourage someone you know who is significant in your life by telling them how they've impacted you.  And hey, take 30 points for sharing some Home Sanctuary Love!

Tell us about it!  I LOVE reading what you girls are doing!!!

Nature Call #1: Where Do I Belong?

 

There are three "Nature Calls" that are indelibly printed on our souls.  They are in the form of questions that we begin asking early in life.  If you have children, they are already asking you these questions, but often in ways we don't recognize.  Creating a Home Sanctuary is all about answering those deep questions of the heart for each family member.  These answers are the foundation that makes your home "feel good."

There have been a few times that I've touched on the first important Question that must be answered, which is:

"Where do I belong?"

Your children, your spouse, your loved ones all need to know,

"You belong right here.  You belong to this family.  You belong to me."

That's a powerful, powerful thought.  We've done something really simple to create a sense of belonging, and that was to get to know each other better.  See, I have a special bond with the people who know me best, those who have taken the time to see the real me.

But there's another way to express belonging, and that's Today's Small Thing.  It's so easy that its significance is often overlooked.

A deep sense of belonging happens when you share experiences and make memories together.  And I'm not talking about ski trips or visits to Disney World. 

I'm talking about the daily moments that take much less effort, but reap far greater rewards. 

It's the popcorn and movies on the couch. 

It's the board games. 

The dish washing. 

The living room wrestling matches.

The bed time stories.

It's the things you do together that are unique to your family.

Making memories is less about creating photo-ops and more about building a life which, when reflected upon, gives you that warm feeling of belonging to something special.  The life you make will never be picture-perfect, but when you've made it together, well. 

You really have something there.

Today's Small Thing:  Do something with someone you love...to build a library of good memories.  Share a story, split a cookie, play a game.  You choose! Let them know how glad you are that they belong to you.

POINTS: 40

Then let us know what you're doing!  After all, we Company Girls belong to each other.

Can you think of other ways to express belonging?  Share your ideas, too!

But first, An Embarrassing Story

My recent episode with the Men's Room in Walmart reminded me that it's been awhile since we've talked about this here little story:

The newly constructed house was a beehive of activity.  Every work crew was there, from the plumbers and painters to the landscapers and electricians.  Everyone was trying to finish the house on time, and I was in the middle of it.  The mural I was working on was taking longer than I had anticipated so I was painting as fast as I could to beat the clock.  I kept thinking I would take a break, but it was a 20 minute drive to town and I didn't want to take the time, so I kept going.

Oh.  Important side note: I should tell you that there was no electricity in the house.  Or running water.  That meant that there were no functioning potties.  In fact, the toilets had not even been installed. 

Not a problem at 9 am.

BIG PROBLEM AT 4:30 p.m.

Late that afternoon I suddenly realized that the uncomfortably full feeling in my bladder was now excruciating and I was about to experience a disastrous accident.

I looked around.  There were people EVERYWHERE.  A bush was out of the question.  The port-a-potty was tipped over, plus I don't care how bad I had to go, I would never use one at a construction site, EVER.  A bumpy drive to town?  I would never make it.

By now, I was starting to panic.  I spied an empty Big Gulp cup and knew I would have to use it.  But where?  I grabbed it and started looking for a private location.  Everywhere I turned, there were people--all men.  I felt like everyone was watching me carrying this cup, looking for privacy.  Did they know?  Could they tell?  Lord, pleeeeze help me hold it!  Those darn pregnancies...

Finally, I found a closet.  It was pitch dark in there.  Perfect.

Only there were no handles on the doors yet, just round holes where they would go.  Great, just great.  I couldn't even lock the doors, and there were two.  I'd have to take my chances that no one would come through the one at the other end of the closet.

I had no choice.  I shut the door. I fumbled with the zipper.  I set the cup down and squatted, holding it upright with one hand while reaching up to hold the door closed with the other hand over the door knob hole, balancing precariously over the cup, my knees about to give out...all in the pitch black darkness. Dear God, please don't let anyone come barreling through that other door!

Honey, I filled that Big Gulp cup right up to the brim.

The relief was euphoric!  Yes!  YESSSS! 

But short-lived.

Now I have a very full Big Gulp cup on my hands.  What am I going to do with it?  I gathered myself and tried to look nonchalant as I left the dark closet with that full cup.  There was literally NO PLACE to pour it out without being seen.  I cannot believe I am walking around with a huge cup of warm pee.

I decided I would drive it to a nearby empty lot.  I carried it to the truck and set it in the cup-holder.  Lord have mercy, I'm driving with urine in my cup-holder!

But no, not so fast.  Just as I'm pulling out, the foreman pulls up in his gigantic truck and wants to chat through the window.  My mouth is moving, but my mind is only on the very full Big Gulp cup sitting in plain view of this man.  Am I making any sense?  Will he think that's lemonade?  Beer?  Please let him think that's beer! (I don't drink but, hey.)

Finally!  He stops yakking and I smile a polite "good-bye" and drive slowly away so I won't jostle the liquid.  Seriously, the cup was that full.

Well, I learned MY lesson!  A 40ish woman who's had 3 kids and no bladder control has no business ignoring nature's call or there will be consequences.

And always, ALWAYS have a Big Gulp cup on hand, just in case of emergency.

Today's Small Thing is in the next post.

Don't Ignore Nature's Call, Part 1

I do hope you've taken the time to read my deeply spiritual story in preface to today's Small Thing.  I KNOW you come here for the enlightened spiritual teaching I serve up each day....;)

You know, it's amazing how God has made our physical bodies.  They work beautifully when you take care of them like you're supposed to.  He's put natural laws in place that you just can't ignore without some serious repercussions. 

You must eat. 

You must sleep. 

You must go to the bathroom.

That's the way we're made to function.

And just like our physical selves have built-in needs, our emotional selves do, too.  Emotional "nature calls," you could say.  They are needs that must be met or there will be serious consequences.

But I've made you read too much today, so I will talk about those Nature Calls the rest of this week along with our Small Things!  I LOVE this subject because it affects our Sanctuaries so profoundly.  Promise you'll stay tuned each day?

So for today, let's take care of the physical Nature Call Center and give your potties a quick scrub.  Do it fast and move on.  Don't forget the outside and handles (the germiest parts) and then hang on for the rest of this week! 

POINTS: 30 for cleaning one toilet

BONUS POINTS: 10 for each additional toilet you might have.