Towels these days!
They are so lazy. All they ever do is hang out with each other, slouching over the rods and shooting the breeze like they've got all day. It's like they don't even care if they have good posture or match their partners. Rumpled and disheveled, some of them don't even bother to pick themselves up off the floor to exchange so much as a "hello." They just hunch their shoulders and remain in lifeless heaps of moist indifference as you pass by.
It's too bad, because the good-looking hand towels usually steal the show by placing themselves in fancy rings by the sink. They demand more attention with their trendy trims and tassels, but even they have been seduced by the sloppy casual culture of the blue-collar bath towels. They're often caught sneaking off their haughty rings and yukking it up with the boys.
It annoys me to walk into the bathroom and see such reckless self-indulgence. Towels these days should have a little more self-respect by acting appropriately for their jobs. They should hang at attention the way towels used to, waiting with expectancy to work when called upon. And they oughta be willing to stay orderly in the cabinets, instead of falling all over each other in wanton abandon whenever the door closes. It's just not right.
Today's Small Thing is to show today's young towels how it should be done. Place them firmly on their rods and give them a crisp swat. Grab the floor-huggers by the collar and march them directly to the washing machine. Give the hand-towels a good talking-to and encourage them to be better examples. Check on the cabinet towels and make sure none of them are giving birth to illegitimate wash cloths. They need to straighten up in there or be separated.
POINTS: 40 for dealing with problem towels
P.S. Don't forget...tomorrow we will report February's points! Woo Hoo!!
