With the holidays approaching, I feel a mixture of excitement and dread descending upon me.
Excitement for the fun of seeing loved ones, dread over the thought of disappointing them over schedules and visits.
Excitement for the joy of seeing the little ones opening presents, dread that I won't be able to afford the big kids' wish lists.
Excitement over the delicious festive treats I will devour, dread over the inevitable holiday pounds that will accrue.
Excitement for the beautiful decorations that will twinkle, dread over vacuuming pine needles for the next 6 months.
Excitement for the simple Christmas message of a savior born in a manger, dread of the over-indulgent consumerism of the season.
Excitement for the kids having time off from school, dread of the kids having time off from school.
Excitement for the Christmas specials like Rudolph on TV, dread of all the Obsession, Kays Jewelers and Old Navy commercials we must endure.
Excitement for doing family traditions, like making Norwegian lefse and working on a jigsaw puzzle, dread of .............well, there's nothing to dread about that! It's all good.
Can you relate? Maybe it's the excitement over the gift-buying in December and the dread over MasterCard bills in January, or the excitement over being with family and the dread of dealing with tough family situations, the holiday season is fraught with ups and downs.
For me, I think it is hardest to meet what I feel is others' expectations of what our Thanksgivings and Christmases should be. We have had some spectacularly perfect holidays, and then there have been others that have been.... difficult. The year we lost a baby and couldn't bear to get together for a full family gathering, complete with expectant sister and sister-in-law, ranks up there as the hardest. How we wished we could have smiled and had a good time, but it was just too raw.
This year, with a new son in law and a growing family tree, there are more people than ever to please. It's my prayer that we will savor the beauty of the season and celebrate our Savior's birth without getting caught up in the dread of disappointment, or fear of not meeting expectations.
I want to focus on what is wondrous and meaningful. I want to make amends where I can, and accept that less-than-spectacular holidays are still special. I want to enjoy giving gifts, however simple they may be, and not worry that they aren't enough because they don't have fancy price tags. I want to relish each moment with my loved ones, and not try to create a Martha Stewart event that overshadows what's really important.
With the approach of Thanksgiving and Christmas, I want the excitement of the season to far outweigh any dread that raises its head.
I think I'll start by finding a new jigsaw puzzle and digging out the lefse recipe.
Rachel Anne