They say that fear of public speaking outranks fear of death in the list of things people are most afraid of. I can relate to that.
My mouth does dry.
My palms get sweaty.
I feel like I have to go tinkle. Urgently. And often.
My vision gets blurry.
Worst, my voice quakes and sounds like I just inhaled helium.
That's why, when I felt the Lord prompting me to lead a Bible Study, I found every reason not to. Too busy. I work during the day. I don't know enough. I can't get organized. All perfectly legit, but not the true reason.
The real reason was: FEAR
It's not that I thought those nice church ladies would be a tough crowd, I knew I couldn't find a better group of people to venture forth with. Still, the thought of actually talking OUT LOUD for 30 minutes made my stomach turn.
Then I've kinda gotten mad! Why should a FEELING, a passing FEELING determine whether or not I would do something? I am letting fear get the best of me, and I don't want to live like that anymore. I committed to following through with the study, even though I was (am) quaking inside.
With Week Two under my belt, I can honestly say that the Lord is helping me overcome my phobia. I have my crutches: lots of notes, a cup of water, an eye on the door in case I need to bolt. I'm sure my nervousness is obvious, but I'm doing my best to "fake it 'til I make it!"
Like Peter, I want to step out of the boat and walk on water! Jesus made the Impossible Possible - as long as Peter's eyes were on Him and not the waves. Could He do the same for me?
There is only one way to find out: you gotta put that first leg out over the side and start walking.
Rachel Anne
