Home Sanctuary

My Interview with HGTV's Sabrina Soto

Yesterday, I had a chance to interview Sabrina Soto, of HGTV's "Get It Sold." Sabrina has some great tips on how to stage your home for selling, some easy spruce-up ideas, and a chance to win a home "scentervention" makeover from Gain.

Well, she had me with the word "scent," because, as is documented extensively on this blog, I have "old house" issues. When I read THIS on her press release, I was both disheartened and hopeful.

"The scent of your home says a lot about you. I tell my clients to use it as
an accessory, like furniture, to help create an environment that reflects who
you are. Making sure scents blend well together is just as important as
selecting a signature scent," said Sabrina Soto. "I'm excited to partner with
Gain as they launch new and exciting products to help people become scent-savvy
stars."

Disheartened that the "eau de ancient hotel" scent which has eluded my best efforts to kill it would "reflect who I am." But I'm hopeful that there might be some new products that will help me become a "scent-savvy star."

Be on the lookout for Gain dishwashing liquids, Air Effects candles, Noticeables Refills and Febreeze with Gain Scent....

And enter to win the "scentervention" home makeover by visiting www.ilovegain.com or their official facebook page.  But you'll have to fight me first 'cause I wanna win it.

PS. My husband was teasing me about my over-use of the word "awesome" in the interview. It's true, I over-used it. But I submit to you that Gain's own website uses it twice on the same page. Ha.

Awesome!

On medals, awards, and a rock named Stretch

My husband was frustrated with the amount of clutter and debris piled into our closets and drawers.  "Every single thing you open has a bunch of junk in it," he said, disgustedly. 

"I mean, just take a look at this drawer," he pulled open a drawer from a small desk in our bedroom.  In it was a jumble of old Christmas cards, pens, paper clips, spools of thread, movie ticket stubs, lone game pieces, Music Theory medals and paper awards. 

"And what the heck is something like THIS doing here?" he scooped it up and held it in his palm for me to see.  "Why do we have ROCKS in our drawers?"

I looked down at the smooth, striped stone in his hand.

"Oh, that's not a rock, that's Stretch!" I said, laughing.  "Lauren found him when she was about 7 and named him Stretch because that's what he looks like.  He's very special."

Tom looked skeptical.  Just to prove my point, I told him to go show Meghan and ask her about it. 

I heard their voices from her bedroom. 

"Do you know anything about this?" his voice had softened by this time, and I could tell he was showing her the rock.

"STRETCH!" she exclaimed excitedly, the moment he opened his hand.  "Wherever did you find him??  I wondered where he was!"

I could hear Meghan tell her dad about how she and Lauren used to love finding rocks.  Fat ones, sparkley ones, black ones, skinny ones.  But none were are as special as this guy.  He was flat, yet rounded and smooth.  He fit just perfectly in their little hands.  And with his stripes, he practically named himself!  Lauren introduced him to me and then set him on the wooden kids' table that sat in our kitchen.

Stretch kicked around as a paper weight for quite some time.  For awhile he lived on the window sill above my kitchen sink, and then finally one day he became a member of the junk drawer club.  He made the move with us from city to country, having survived numerous rounds of cuts as we purged our belongings down to the essentials and important mementos.

It's really no surprise that he found himself in the company of the medals and awards.  I look at those tarnished trophies that celebrate our children's accomplishments, and I have to squint my eyes to recall the ceremonies in which they received them.  I can't even remember what most of the certificates were for.

But Stretch, I can remember Stretch. 

Holding him in my hand brings a flood of memories.  He was from a time of pure innocence, an era of my kids' childhood laughter and play.  There were birthday parties and Santa Claus, recess and make-believe.  The dress-up clothes were never put away neatly, the kids' table was awash with craft  supplies, and there was always some kind of drama with playmates going on.  It was such a messy, noisy and crazy time of life.  Who would have thought it would be over so soon?

But I look back now, and of all the things we've saved from those years, Stretch holds a certain place of reverence in my mind.  His simplicity, his quiet strength, his ability to keep secrets and his knowledge of all that's happened in this family make me treasure him all the more. 

When I see him, I envision my beautiful grown daughter as she was at age 7, sparkling with excitement over finding just the right rock. 

"See?" she said.  "Isn't he just perfect?"

Yes, he still is.

Too Bad All Houses Can't Be This Quaint

We started a new mural in this house today.

It is a quaint 10,000 square foot chateau on Tour 18, a very prestigious gated golf course community. The home boasts garages for 5 cars, at least 5 fireplaces, a kitchen the size of a bowling alley, and guest quarters that could house a couple of 3rd world families.

It's very impressive.

We marveled at the neighborhood as we drove through. Home after home of incredible taste and distinction. Wow, they are beautiful. Many already had crews of men putting up elaborate Christmas displays. I'll bet it's a sight to see during the holidays, all lit up.

I enjoy seeing the beauty and artistry that money can buy.  All the world's finest art, sculpture and architecture that we appreciate today has been funded by wealthy patrons of the arts through the centuries. And I love to see the textures, the finishes, the rarest materials, and the imagination that goes into creating these dream homes.

But I felt a little lost, going through the maze of rooms inside this home today. The children's rooms seemed awfully far away from the master suite. And the cavernous media room was in a wing that was a flight of stairs and several hallways from the kitchen. A person's food would be cold by the time you took your plate up to eat in front of a movie. You'd never be able to hear each other yelling from one room to another. And you'd have a hard time even finding each other if everyone was in their own room.

I guess that's why I like our humble house. You're not going to get lost going from the kitchen to the "Back Room," as we call it. The hallway to the back has a ceiling so low you can almost palm it. I think whoever built this house forgot to leave room for the pipes and just had to make the ceiling lower in that spot in order to run them. Oops.

Tom is going to paint our Barn House this week. After searching high and low for a color with more "WOW" factor, we settled on one that is almost exactly like what we already have. I guess we like the humble yellow, too.

There aren't any manicured walkways leading to our little spot back here. We're barely able to manage those doggone weeds that grow so fast. But when I turn our yard light on at night, there is magic in the air. The fall leaves that skipped across those fancy streets today are the same kind that fall in our gravel driveway. And the air smells just as good, if not better. The evening breeze tells me that cooler nights are coming, and that our little place will be just the kind of shelter we need most in this world.

Our home is our refuge. It's not a statement on who we are or what we've accomplished. It is more than that. It's the place where we circle the wagons and relish the safety and love that's found in the people who live here. It's not fancy. But it's real, and it keeps the treasure of our family within its walls and under its sloping roof.

It will be a pleasure to work in such a magnificent house this week.  I will enjoy experiencing the fine workmanship that has gone into every detail.  But I will love coming home to this place, with its worn linoleum floors and doors that stick shut.  It's where abundance is measured in laughter, and riches in the depth of shared memories and tenderness. 

There is no better place to live than where you are loved best.

A Weekly Schedule that Actually Works

My Weekly Schedule has changed more times than Britney Spears has changed her hair.  Sometimes I've let it go completely, and then other times it has kept me afloat like a life preserver.  Setting up a schedule for yourself is a tool to help you function and make good decisions for your family.  It gives you POWER!  It takes you from feeling victimized by that boat-load of tasks, and actually gives you freedom.  I like that!

And, in keeping with my theme song this week, it's also about respecting your role as a wife, a mom, a keeper of all things important, and overseer of your growing organization.

When I think about setting up my schedule, I like to borrow a phrase from a famous pirate movie, "They're not really rules, they're more like 'guidelines.'"  Guidelines give you some structure to work within, but there is a lot of wiggle room for when the unexpected happens, and we all know it will happen.

Katherine, at Raising Five, has an excellent post about a Weekly Schedule.  Since we are both Bonnie McCullough devotees, and because Katherine has really nice color-coded examples (jealous), I will give a slightly different slant. 

Paraphrasing from Bonnie, here are some tips on setting up your schedule.

1. Define your housekeeping goal. What level of cleanliness would be best for you and your family? (Sidenote: this can be an area of conflict if you and your spouse have different cleanliness level needs. I speak from experience....cough)

2. Decide how much time to spend on cleaning. Housecleaning, cooking, child care, laundry, maintenance AND self-fulfillment are all part of home management. Defining what MUST be done is important, so you are not wasting your efforts (i.e. overcleaning. no problem THERE!)

3. Make a 7-day work chart. Fill in fixed commitments and the basic family happenings for a week: departures, school, meals, arrivals. From these, a general horizontal time schedule will emerge, showing some structure. (Look at Katherine's cool color-codings.)

4. Set aside time for fun-specific time for relaxation. You owe it to yourself!

5. Group the same types of work together in your schedule as much as possible. Arrange days to spend AT HOME getting those things done. Arrange errands together. (Very important!!)

6. Delegate responsibility. You don't have to do it all! Every member of the family should carry part of the load. Be democratic, share the fun ones, too.

7. Plan ahead by scheduling. If your schedule shows soccer after school, dinner could be ready to pop in the oven before you leave. If you have a special event on a cleaning day, move your cleaning day over, or start it the night before. If an activity doesn't fit on paper, simply say no to it.

8. If an activity doeasn't fit on paper, simply say no to it. Oh, I just said that! But it deserves it's own special point. So quit cramming stuff in that doesn't fit.

9. Value your time. Pretend you are being paid a professional wage during your work times. Respect the work you do and what it does for your family!

10. Stay flexible. You are not a prisoner to the schedule. Its purpose is to allow you to take control of managing what happens in your home!

11. Be creative! It was a revelation to me to realize that I didn't have to do ALL my cleaning and laundry and yardwork and oversee kids' chores and do kids' sports all on Saturday! I began making Mondays my major work day, freeing up Saturdays to do other things.

Now, just a few thoughts: When you feel like your work is never done, it drains you of energy. Assigning days to do specific tasks frees you of the burden of the other undone things. See? You don't have to worry about doing that monstrous pile of laundry on any other day than Laundry Day. Sweet freedom!

I suggest starting very simply. Don't fill in every minute with tasks you know you'll never do. Think in terms of chunks of time, and just put in what you know MUST be done and live with it for awhile before you get real complicated.

Like Bonnie McCullough says, you deserve to treat yourself well, and with dignity. Caring for your household is a way of caring for yourself, and expressing gratitude for what you have. It's about creating a home sanctuary for the people you care about most: your family.

Here is a sample schedule for someone who does not work outside the home. How about I talk about setting up a schedule for a mom who works outside the home next time?

For more great Works For Me Wednesday tips, visit Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer!

Friends don't let friends have toenail fungus

Works for Me Wednesday, hosted by Shannon.

Yeah, that's right, toenail fungus. Don't be surprised when you take off that pretty red summer nail polish if your toenails look a little ratty. Here's a natural remedy that really helped mine, and since we're all among friends you can leave me a comment telling me about just how bad YOUR toenails look. I'm here to help.

Just don't send pictures.

Use 1 part Tea Tree Oil to 1 part Lavender Oil and mix into a small bottle with a dropper. You can get these natural products at a health food store. Place a drop on each toenail morning and night, and let it soak in. Don't let it get onto your skin if you can help it. Tea Tree oil is a very potent antibiotic and lavender will help fight the infection and prevent skin irritation.

I started seeing improvement after about a week, and I kept doing it along with my vitamin regimen, which is pretty much whenever I remember it.

I also go all fall and winter sans polish, so that they get a chance to get healthy. With my feet stuffed into socks and shoes, no one can see the damage.

Try this before you get the expensive prescription stuff and hopefully it will work for you, too! For other tips, try this link.

What does Minimum Maintenance really look like?

One of the challenges of training kids to be able to clean is helping them "see" what needs to be done.  How many times have they announced that their room is clean, and you find that it still looks like a bomb went off in there?  They often don't see their own mess.

The same thing is true for us moms.  We need to train our own eyes to see the mess sometimes.  Well, in my case, our messes are only too obvious.  But we get used to seeing newspapers and toys and unfolded clothes laying around and don't even realize how it affects our subconscious need for order.  We wonder why we just can't feel good about our home life.

So here's an easy list of the Minimum Maintenance activities to help you "see" what should be done.

Kitchen: dishes, countertops, sweep.  (OK, it does take longer than 15 minutes, I lied.)

Entry:  pick up, no backpacks, shoes, stuff to take upstairs.  You don't want to trip on stuff as you come in the door.

Family Room:  newspaper, books, remotes, trash, pillows straightened, laundry not slung over the couch

Bedrooms: Everyone responsible for keeping their own room neat: beds made, clothes picked up off of floor, trash thrown away.  Obviously 2 year olds can't make their own bed, but if you spend a few minutes with your small child, helping them "see" what should be done, and then doing most of it yourself, it will gradually transition as they become more responsible.

Mail Center: (ahem, if you have one) junk mail thrown, bills and important papers where they go, etc.

You always want to start with the big items (bed, table top, countertops) and work down to smaller areas.  And work with gusto!  Why take hours to do what can be done in minutes?  Leave yourself time to do fun stuff so you aren't a slave to your house.  Try an "apronon" with pockets to put little items in as you go.

I found that I don't do ALL the rooms, and all the rooms don't take 5 minutes EVERY DAY.  That's where being flexible is important.  When my kids were little, it was nearly impossible to go from room to room without interruption.  Maybe that's why I liked picking up at night.

I always kept some kind of basket in each room (living room, kitchen, bedroom, etc) that I could chuck toys into for the easiest possible clean up.  It wasn't the most organized way to handle toys, but it helped keep the floor from looking like a minefield, and made it easy for little helpers to do a quick pick-up, too.

Rachel Anne

The Secret to Successful Home Management-"Minimum Maintenance"

When I first quit my job to stay home with my babies, I really wanted to do a great job as a homemaker.  My biggest challenge was that my mindset had gotten a little messed up.  After several years of working, I had gotten into the habit of thinking that "home" time was "relax" time.  You know, kick back and unwind and watch T.V.  It took me awhile to figure out that, like any job, homemaking took some effort and some pride.  But where to start??  I had my hands full with the little ones and was overwhelmed at keeping house AND keeping everyone fed.

One day, in a rabid search for organizational inspiration at the Container Store, I stumbled across Bonnie's Household Organizer.  Coincidentally, my sister Katherine referenced this book yesterday.  (It is a recurring theme of our phone conversations.)  In it, Bonnie gives some guidelines for a simple daily maintenance rountine that I've adapted to my own family's needs over the years.  When life starts getting out of control, I often find that I've forgotten to put it into practice and I have to pull out my dog-eared book for a refresher.  Minimum Maintenance (along with a general weekly schedule) helps get my family back on track and gives me hope that I just might make it.

Minimum Maintenance in a nutshell is this:  acknowledging that every day a minimum amount of effort will go into that day to make it work.

Minimum Maintenance is not a thorough cleaning process.  It is a morning run-through of the house, that gives you a successful start to your day, whatever happens. 

Here is what Bonnie says:

1. Spend 5 minutes per room, picking up and straightening.  NO MORE THAN 5 MINUTES! (Except the kitchen, which gets 15).  When your friendly timer goes off, you move on.  Oh, good!

2. Don't start cleaning too deeply during your morning run-through.  Save that for later.  Oh, now we're talkin!

3. Don't let the needs of others control your life.  (ex. telephone calls, Regis and Kelly etc.)

4. Make the dinner decision early. (By 10:00)  Deciding early give you more choices, even if you are deciding to eat out.  It gives you control.  Try an easy monthly menu plan.

5. Start from the outside in.  Clean off the top of the counter before you attack a drawer.

6. Categorize items as you go:  start grouping stuff as you pick up.  Don't get bogged down in specific, precise categories, just simple groups so that when you begin to really organize, half the job is already done.

7.  Learn to pick up before the mess becomes monstrous.  We often don't pick up a little piece of paper because the rest of the house is so messy.  For today, just pick up the stuff you took out and used TODAY.

8. Make the picking-up process a habit.  At first it will take great effort, but soon it will become a second nature.  Clean as you go.  Having paper towels or pop-up wipes handy in each bathroom makes it easier to do a quick swab o' the deck.

So even if my closets are a disaster (and some of them are!) picking up and straightening the areas we live in gives me a euphoric feeling of success.  Knowing that I HAVE to move on after 5 minutes in each room helps keep me from getting bogged down in my quagmire of despair.

Sometimes it has worked better for me to do 5 minutes per room in the evening, rather than in the morning.  I like to wake up to a neat house, and getting the kids to pitch in to for quick pick up gives them an excuse to stay up 5 more minutes.  As if they needed it.

Next week, I will post how I've done my general weekly schedule.  I actually seldom use it anymore, because the needs of my family have changed.  But for at least 20 years it has been my lifesaver, the thing that brought me back from the ledge of insanity many times.

I encourage you to get out your timer and get rockin with Minimum Maintenance today.  I would be willing to bet my last dollar that you will feel incredibly sexy and powerful when you can see your countertops once again!  Hey, there's nothing like a little bit of success to give a big boost to your self esteem.  And we can all use some of that!

Where the Blacktop Ends

After a weekend hockey tournament in San Antonio, it felt good to turn onto our dirt driveway. The weeds grew a foot in two days and our faithful yellow lab was waiting for us in front of the house.

The driveway is full of potholes from all the rain we had earlier in the year. It's on my husband's long list of things to do: get gravel to fill the holes. Our cars never stay clean for very long because of all the dust we kick up when we drive. But there's something comforting about the sound of tires on a gravel road. We enjoy looking down the drive to see who might be coming up to the house. I like the way the old road curves around to the pond and goes over the dam through a tunnel of trees.

It's peaceful, and I never get tired of it.

Most of the homes around here have paved driveways and electric gates. They have nicely landscaped entrances to their custom dwellings. We just have a rusty antique farm rake, half hidden in the tall grass, that marks the entrance to the long dirt drive up to the house. It's easy to miss if you're not looking for it.

And we like it that way.

Eden's Sanctuary: A Lite Treatise

A couple of weeks ago, I posted some thoughts on man's first home sanctuary, the Garden of Eden.  I'd like to park here for another minute and make a few observances about this very special place.

1.  God made an incredible earth, and then made an even more spectacular place for Adam and Eve.  He carefully placed them into this garden.  We were created for sanctuary...or sanctuary was created for us.  Either way, it explains the longing for it in our soul.

2.  God's creation was excellent in every way.

3.  The garden was separate from the world outside.  This is a very important point.

4.  The garden was separate from the world outside.  This point should be made twice.

5.  Eden was beautiful.  Some of the plants in there were created just for their beauty.  Just because.

6.  All gardens have an element of surprise:  you just never know how something will bloom and grow!

7.  Eden smelled heavenly, with all those flowers and trees and moss.

8.  Eden sounded lovely.  It was a symphony of bird songs, animal sounds, rustling vegetation and bablbing brooks.  There was no noise of TV's, blaring radios, or honking horns.

9.  There was plenty of nutritious food, and none of it came in a package.

10. It was the perfect temperature and atmosphere for Adam and Eve and all the living things.  In other words, Eden satisfied all their senses.  It was delightful.

11. Adam and Eve were created in the image and likeness of God.  Wow.

12.  Right smack in the middle of the garden were two trees:  right from the get-go people had choices to make.  Within their own sanctuary.

13.  Adam was given a job to do.  You could say he had a home-based business.

14.  Eve was given a job to do...to be his helper.  She was a workin woman.

15. Their job was to tend and care for the garden.  It needed maintenance and nurturing.  Life wasn't all fun and games in Eden, but I'll bet they enjoyed their job because it was their calling.

16. Their job required organizational skills, even without junk mail to sort and laundry to do.

17.  God showed Adam all the animals before He made Eve.  Some things never change.  Men still need to see their options and come to their own conclusions.  (Eve wasn't there yet to tell him how much he needed her.)

18.  Eve was a gift to Adam, created especially for him.  I wonder how I can be a gift to my own man?  I've got some thoughts on that, here and here.  Oh, and here.

19.  There were no parents or in-laws in the garden.  (Moses, who wrote the book of Genesis, threw in some commentary for free. v 24)

20.  They were both naked.  I'm not sure how much actual work was getting done with both of them running around naked, but I'm going to guess that there was plenty of sex.  Hmmmm.

21.  They had no shame.  They were intimately vulnerable with one another, on every level.

22.  God's presence was in the garden.  He walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day.  Great picture!  Their relationship with God was the central part of their sanctuary.

23.  After they ate of the forbidden fruit, they blamed each other for their problems.  Ouch, still true today.

24. Why did Satan use food to tempt Eve?  Because he knew she would fall for it.  Yeah, still true.

25. Adam and Eve tried to hide from God's presence because they knew they had disobeyed. 

26. Sin brought shame.

27. Sin brought an end to the first sanctuary.

28.God had to put guards outside the entrance of the garden because He knew they would want back in.

29. God called out to Adam, "Where are you?"

30. Somehow, I think God is still calling out to us, "Where are you?" 

I'm going through my list of observations and I'm trying to apply them to my modern-day home sanctuary.  Things like, 

Is it a place that pleases the senses?  Does it smell good?  Does it have a sense of beauty?  Does it feel good?

Am a vulnerable, open partner with my husband?  Is our relationship deep AND fun?

More importantly, am I walking with my Creator in the cool of the day?  Is my relationship with Him fresh and growing?

The garden of Eden speaks to me in a way that makes me want to capture the essence of what God planned for Adam and Eve, and infuse my home with it.  I've got a long way to go, but somehow just knowing that God delighted in creating that first home sanctuary for his prized people gives me a renewed vision for what I want my home to be. 

I would love to hear your observations about Eden and how you can apply it to your home.  Your comments?

In God's first sanctuary, there was no laundry.

Think about it. Adam and Eve were nekked and unashamed, so there was no laundry to do. Eve also never had to do any dishes because they just ate stuff off trees.

Heaven. Pure, pure heaven.

When I began to meditate on "Sanctuary," I started looking at all the scriptures I could find that talked about God's sanctuary. In the Bible, where God lived was often called a temple, a tabernacle, His holy hill, Zion, or the Courts of the Lord. I figured that I should see what kind of place God wanted to reside in. I was surprised to find just how many references there were, and how much could be gleaned from them!

Right there in Genesis, is the very first sanctuary. It's not called that, but that's really what it was. The garden of Eden was an incredible place of beauty and perfection, created especially for Adam and Eve. It had everything they needed--plentiful, sumptuous fruit, soft beds of grass, cuddly animals, and best of all, God's presence was there.

I truly believe that the source of our longing for sanctuary is because we were created for it. It is deep within our souls. We long for peace and beauty, for quiet and spiritual communion.

We long for meals to be eaten directly off of trees with no plates involved.

But this first sanctuary also came with some responsibilities. Even though Adam and Eve did not have to do their own laundry, they were given the job of taking care of the garden, and ruling over the earth's creatures. I started realizing that my idea of a leisurely home sanctuary was not based on scripture. Rats! But come to think of it, another innate desire we have is to do something, to accomplish something. Perhaps that's why we feel so frustrated when we feel like we never get anything done.

Before sin entered the garden, God walked with Adam and Eve and was known intimately by them. How amazing is that! They were able to enjoy His presence every day. But their sin removed them from the garden that had been so carefully made for them, and it removed them from the sweet friendship they had with their Creator.

In truth, there can be no Home Sanctuary apart from God. The very meaning of the word, "sanctuary", is "holy place:" a place where God resides. Part of my journey has been to realize my desperate need for a Savior, and complete dependence on God's grace through Jesus Christ. Being raised in a Christian home gave me a good foundation to base my life, but I often let sins like bitterness, anger, jealousy, laziness, pride and selfishness (just to name a few) keep me from enjoying a deep relationship with God. So much of the time I try and justify myself, rather than repent of those things that separate me from Him. And then I wonder why it's so hard to create my little sanctuary here at home!

When you get a moment, take a look at Genesis 1-3. I challenge you to make some observations of the world that God created, and see what you can apply to your own home. Unfortunately, we cannot walk around completely naked, but you may find yourself awed by what our Creator had in mind when He made that first sanctuary.