Home Sanctuary

Top Ten Tips to Get Kids to Do Chores

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Are you struggling with trying to get your kids to pitch in around the house? You're not alone. Every parent feels like they are constantly having to push, pull, remind, discipline, nag, remind, yell, and remind their kids to do their chores. It's so tiring. Here are my favorite tips to help you today.

Rachel's Top Ten Tips:

1. Talk less, mean more.

Listen to yourself objectively. Are you giving instructions all day long? Do you give directions you don't really expect they'll follow and it's like you're just talking to the wind? Maybe you're just talking too much and they've simply tuned you out. Limit your instructions to the few things you will follow through on.

2.  Be clear.

Don't shout your directions from the other room. For direction to be effective, you need to look each other in the eye and give them clearly. Ask him to repeat your instructions back to you so you both know he got them. Use eye contact, and require a "yes, ma'am."

3. Give small bites.

Don't say "go clean your room." Instead, give specific, bite-sized jobs that he can succeed at step by step. "Pick up the toys on the floor and put them in the toybox," is much more manageable. Use a checklist for each specific task and have him do one thing at a time.

• make bed
• put books away
• put clothes in hamper
• pick up trucks

 

4.  Give advance warning.

No one likes to have unwelcome news sprung on them when they are trying to get to the next level or are in the middle of pretending to be princesses.

Try, "In 20 minutes I'm going to ask you to set the table. You'll need to say 'yes, ma'am" when I call you. Can you do that?" Requiring a response means they understand they'll be transitioning in a few minutes. This is called respect...and your child needs it just as much as you do.

5. Use "when" and "if" correctly.

"When you finish feeding the dog, you may play outside," communicates your expectation that he WILL finish the job. 

"If you feed the dog, you may play outside,"  sounds like bribery.

"If" works better when spelling out consequences. "If you don't feed the dog, you'll have to sit in your chair for 15 minutes." It conveys that you don't believe failure will happen, but gives you the opportunity to share what will occur in the unlikely event that he disobeys.

6. Time limit.

Use a timer! A timer is a mom's best friend, next to a wooden spoon. :) Or give a reasonable time on the clock that the job must be completed, (i.e. by 4:00). Kids (like adults) are easily discouraged at the prospect of a loooooong job. Knowing it has an end gives hope to the weary little soul. A daily 10 minute blitz is far better than springing a day-long, never-ending list once every blue moon.

7.  You get what you inspect, not what you expect.

It's easy to give instructions...not so easy to follow up to see that they got done. Kids know if they dilly-dally long enough, parent's will forget to check to see that the chore got done. Only give the amount of work you are willing to check on, otherwise, don't bother.

8. Teach what "finished" looks like.

Your child may not really know what a clean room should look like. You may have to go in there and shovel it out FOR him at first, just so he can see what clean looks and feels like. Admire it together. Talk about how nice it looks. Agree together that "this" is what finished looks like. Same for any other job. What does a clean kitchen look like? What does a swept floor look like? Go over it together, slowly and kindly....and be sure and share the beauty of "done."

9. Be consistent.

It is better to have one or two daily things for them to be responsible for, than haphazardly flinging jobs at them when you get overwhelmed. Depending on your schedule and number of kids, a daily list might be just this simple.

• Clear table
• Pick up clothes
• Put away toys
• Mom's choice - I like having this one on the list because there is always something I could use help with and this prepares their hearts to serve.

10. Don't tie daily, family tasks to money or rewards.

Yes, I believe in rewards. But if EVERY task gets a reward, how will your child learn to have self motivation and self sacrifice for the team? The family IS a team, and every member needs to do a little something, everyday, to make it function well. "Extra" jobs - not the day-to-day chores - can be for pay, but PLEASE give your child the gift of learning to work without thought of "what will I get out of this?" or you will forever be shelling out cash and promises, just to get the basics done.

Besides, "Because mommy said so," is a perfectly legitimate reason for kids to do chores.

Bonus Tip: Make it fun

Of course, tired parents can't make every chore time into a game, but using games and fun motivations can make a huge difference! Try:

• Beat the clock
• Stickers
• Check the box
• Race each other
• Music
• Random rewards "when" (not if) jobs are done. "Work before pleasure" is something even we adults need to work on. Rewards can be as simple as taking a walk, sharing a bowl of ice cream, or reading a book together.

There are tons of resources available online, such as chore charts. I always preferred to make my own, as my requirements were not nearly as detailed. Here is an example of a simple one: rotating chores.

Today's Small Thing is to implement at least two of these tips into your child's life today.

(If you don't have children, these work surprisingly well on spouses and co-workers.)

Remember, you are a manager of your home....and as such, your "employees" should be clear about what is asked of them. A good manager makes a working environment enjoyable, is encouraging, gives compliments and honors responsible workers. You can help your kids learn the value of working for the good of the team, and learn the satisfaction of a job well done by implementing simple, daily chores they can accomplish.

These are priceless gifts to take into life beyond your home.

POINTS: 50 for working on giving your child the chance to shine through manageable chores.

What are YOUR favorite tips for getting your kids to pitch in and do their chores? Please share!

PS feel free to grab the image above and pin it, save it, or put it on your fridge!

The Things That Can't Be Measured

One of the biggest challenges I face when writing a motivational blog that rewards specific, measurable tasks at home, is that so much of motherhood - and life - is filled with things that cannot ever really be measured.

I know, we're all trying to get organized and find important papers and open the refrigerator door without fear, but in the big scheme of life those things are barely even significant. Not when you compare them to the ways we should love one another, how we should speak to each other, and make room for each other's faults and celebrate small moments of beauty. Or how we should trust God in the midst of trials, or model good character to our kids day in and day out.

Do you know what I'm saying?

How can you ever measure the importance of letting cleaning wait so you can gaze into your baby's eyes and stroke her tiny fingers as you feed her?

You could you never put a number on the patience it takes to listen to a nine-year old tell you a story that appears to have no end...and no point.  And yet you smile and nod and notice how his freckles are so darn cute and his smile is just a little lopsided.

You certainly can't put a price tag on staying up late with your teenager to eat popcorn in the kitchen and talk about boys and hairstyles, and you couldn't ever know the value of just one more bedtime story or a kiss on a forehead or that look you give your child that says, "that just about enough out of you, sir."

No one gives you points for the things moms do to smooth squabbles, feed tummies or wipe bottoms to the best of your ability. Checking behind ears for dirt, playing This Little Piggy, doling out discipline and forever wondering if you're doing a good enough job...not one task can be measured because each child, each circumstance, each day is different and requires every last ounce of a mom's best energy and attention. And don't even mention watching clouds and chasing fireflies and finding rainbows....they'll never get checked off anyone's list, but they're some of the moments that truly matter - and only come when you're willing to drop your To Do's to catch them.

The truth is, although our lists fill our days with busy tasks, it's the things that rarely make our lists that make life sweet and good. It's when we look up from our phone apps and emails and measurable tasks and see the little people (and big people) who need us to BE with them in the moment, fully present and engaged, that everything comes into clear focus.

The things that can't be measured are worth our very best efforts, our highest goals and our strongest pursuits.

Love and faith and grace should be the whole point of all our other tasks - that perhaps in reprioritizing them we will leave room for the immeasurable joy that comes when we're simply...available.

Willing.

Surrendered.

Looking for the moments that connect us to each other and with God.

Today's Small Thing is to do something that can't be measured or checked off a list.

Hold a hand in the car on the way to where you're late to, sprawl across your child's bed and whisper in the dark, or look - really look - at your son or daughter as they speak. It doesn't matter what. You choose. You grab hold of the moment. You give it the attention it deserves.

Intangible, immeasurable, uncountable, unfathomable. Today, let love and grace fill in the spaces your To Do list cannot possibly reach...and simply enjoy what comes.

POINTS: 50 - because in real life you never get points for doing the immeasurable.

The Gift of Hope

"The end of the world as we know it." ~ every other Facebook status

I've heard a lot of gloom and doom since the election, and today I want to encourage you to, well.... put a lid on it. At least in front of the kids.

Yes, I know. I'm well aware that there are big huge problems facing us, and we have social issues up the wazoo. We must discuss them. But sometimes we get so wrapped up in talking about how bad things are and how much worse they're going to get, that we forget about the little listening ears that are taking it all in. To kids, all this grown-up talk can be scary, frightening and depressing. And it can leave them feeling hopeless about their future.

When you're ten, you should be dreaming of being an astronaut, or a doctor, or a fireman... not worrying about whether your family will survive a future holocaust. A six year-old shouldn't have to overhear talk that our country going to hell in a handbasket. A high schooler shouldn't have to think "why bother?" because the world might end. We need to filter the information we present so that it is age-appropriate and constructive.

Today's Small Thing is to give your children (and everyone around you) the gift of hope.

Refrain from talking about political catastrophes and instead, talk about your child's dreams. What are his gifts? What can she contribute to this world to make it better? How can God help us be lights in our neighborhoods? What can WE do to make a difference?

There is so much we can't fix around us. The economy, immigration, unemployment....but none of that means anything to someone who just wants to color with you, or be pushed in a swing, or have you listen to a new song they found on itunes. Don't rob your children of the joyfulness of life because you are disappointed in the election outcome. Speaking positive and hopeful words will communicate to them that you trust God to watch over you no matter what. Regardless of the political landscape.

God has mighty plans for the next generation of kids, and it will be amazing to see them rise up and take them on. We need future astronauts and doctors and firemen and mommies and daddies who believe in Him, and whose parents gave them the gift of hope in the midst of turbulent times.

Song of the Day: Hope Now, Addison Road

Yes, It's Possible

I asked my husband once why he had dreamed of climbing Mt. Everest when he was a young man.

"I don't know," he said thoughtfully. "Maybe because it's POSSIBLE."

It's possible because a man named Sir Edmund Hillary proved it is. He and his companion Tenzing Norgay did what no one had ever done...and opened the way for climbers and dreamers to make it to the top of the world because it COULD be done. And while most people see the failed attempts at Everest as reason not to try, for some undaunted souls, the fact that some HAVE made it is enough for them to embark on the journey of a lifetime.

Last week, Tom and I felt as if we'd made it to the top of Everest. You see, we had a "second honeymoon" in the very area we'd spent our first one - in the mountains of Colorado....and this time we had a vantage point that allowed us to look back and see the climb we've been on. In the scramble to the top - getting our last child out the door and finishing a huge work project - we suddenly realized that the possibilities we'd only dreamed of in the beginning had become a reality. It was unbelievably exhilarating, and we acted just as giddy together as we did the first time around!

 

Yup, just as giddy.

Back when we were a couple of kids in a Datsun pickup on our way to Breckenridge in 1983, we had a lot of hope and just enough courage to believe that we could make it on our own epic journey. Unfortunately, we saw a lot of attempts by others that didn't end well. Marriages that started out strong but fell victim to storms, fatigue or injury along the way. Each casualty put a small measure of fear in our hearts, knowing how easily it could happen to us. That could be us, we'd say. Don't let it be us.

So we grabbed hands and just pressed on. Through college classes, babies, sicknesses, the shoulder pads and perms of the 90's, through the kids' school years, the failed businesses, the empty bank accounts and flat tires. Thankfully, along the steep path there have been enough sunsets and flowers, tea parties and sand castles, knowing smiles and inside jokes to make each step seem doable. Possible.

With each step, we learned what IS possible. And I hold up the Flag of Possibility for you today so that you can believe, and take another step yourself...no matter how faltering it may be. Keep pressing on.

It is possible.... to have an epic love affair with the person you are married to.

It is possible to re-ignite your passion for one another, even after a long, bleak season.

It is possible to make it through financial stress, parenting, illness and loss. It is possible to be faithful to your spouse.

It is possible to forgive.

It is possible to raise children who don't rebel.

It is possible to send children to public school and see them remain not only true to their faith, but be leaders of their peers.

It is possible to have a good family in spite of the mom being easily distracted by clouds, butterflies and 20% off discount signs.

It is possible that being organized is overrated.

It is possible to know that God is deeply in love with you, and cares for you....infinitely.

It is possible to enjoy your kids' teenage years.

It is possible that your really naughty, exasperating toddler will become an amazing young adult.

It is possible to trick people into thinking you're an awesome housekeeper by occasionally hiding clutter in closets.

It is possible to find small nuggets of joy each day, if you take the time to look for them.

It is possible to live for Jesus and still have a regular job.

It is *possible* to multi-task, but *probably* not well.

It is possible to enjoy each season of life, especially when you realize that none of them lasts forever.

It is possible for dreams to come true if you're willing to work.

It is possible to be a late bloomer.

It is possible that you'll face some really hard things that will defy explanation and easy answers.

It is possible for a family to love being together.

It is possible for a marriage to last forever - and still be sweet.

It is possible to reach the top of a mountain, one small step at a time.

 

What are YOUR possiblities? Maybe you're in a tough spot and it's hard to see any around you. I know just what that feels like, because I've been there, many times. And yet, here I am....looking back and seeing just how many possibilities actually became realities. God is faithful and is always working behind the scenes to give you strength for the journey.

Today's Small Thing is to grab a handful of hope and take a deep breath of courage.

With each step you take, you are that much closer to the top of your mountain. Knowing that others have gone before you - and made it - proves that it CAN be done. It IS possible...and you're on your way to planting your own flag at the summit, I promise. Keep fighting for your marriage, keep looking for moments of joy, keep on being a good mom today. Keep dreaming and praying and doing. Matt. 19:26 "but with God, all things are possible."

It is possible that the best is yet to come.

Back to Us

Our youngest child, Grayson, left for college on Sunday.

 

As you can imagine, it was an emotional day. We had decided to keep things lighthearted and to try not to start talking about old times as we ate a leisurely brunch and then packed up his car....and that did help - up until the last hug.

Man. How do you put eighteen years of love and pride and happiness and sadness and excitement and heartbreak and fun and memories into a goodbye? There's just no way to describe it.

Watching his car drive slowly down our dusty driveway is something I'll never forget. We heard him stop, just beyond the trees and out of our sight, to pay his respects to the pond before he pressed on the gas and headed for Texas A&M. Our ears strained to hear his wheels disappear down our country lane.

We sat for the longest time on our creaky wooden lawn chairs afterward, staring up at the sky through the leaves and gazing at the driveway...and that's when the tears really came. "I can't believe it's over," we said more than once. And we talked about our favorite memories with the kids and how much we loved being parents. What a gift we've been given.

The past couple of days have been a roller coaster of emotions. We will see Gray again on Sunday for the Freshman Convocation, and that has given us something fun to look forward to. And as the heartbreak has eased, we've started to feel excited, even euphoric at times, that we made it. We made it. Our kids are amazing adults and all the hard work and daily stress of parenting is done.

Now it's just back to us.

We've been staring at each other like a couple of newlyweds, in awe of the power of love that has brought us through raising our family and creating our history. We never got fancy trips to Disney World and our camping trips were few and far between, but we had our kids and we had each other and it was enough. And now it's the two of us - the same couple that was crazy in love all those years ago, and we feel exactly the same about each other as we did back then.

Except now we know the rest of the story. All the lines have been colored in and we can see the picture clearly. We know that despite some tough times that stretched our marriage and our faith, we kept going, and it turned out... beautiful. Not perfect, but beautiful... because it's our own story. It turned out beyond what we could have hoped for, when we were those two kids who brought home that first baby from the hospital and wondered what the future would hold.

It's been an amazing ride. We are so very grateful.

5 Communication Tips from Marketers

I recently snapped this photo at my local feed store - a perfect example of how NOT to make a sign.

 

I don't know which is worse: the fact that the sign painter didn't plan the layout, or the store owner saying, "Looks good, let's go with it."

A few minutes of planning would have made all the difference in legibility. After all, isn't communication the whole purpose of a sign? Ya might want to make sure people can read it.

Planning is an important part of signage... and all forms of marketing for that matter. Billions of dollars are spent on advertising products so that you'll "buy in" to their message. Companies create focus groups, do market research and conduct polls to best understand how to reach their target market. Then they carefully craft their logos, fonts, colors, brands, commercials and advertisements to appeal to the consumer in such a way that they'll WANT to spend money on their product.

You know, when it comes to communication at home, we could learn a few things from the marketing world. We are communicating every day- to our children, our spouse, our co-workers...if you think about it, we want people to "buy in" to our message, too. Whether it is giving instructions, sharing our feelings or talking about our day, we need our "customers" to understand and respond to what we are saying. 

Here are 5 Tips from the marketing world that can help in your personal world of communication:

1. Know your target market. Do you need to tell your husband something important? Try putting it in terms he understands. Sports analogies, technical terms, bottom lines and examples from his own life show that you value the things he cares about as you express yourself.

2. Timing is everything. There is a reason that arthritis medicine commercials air during the evening news. Marketers know that is the time their senior audience is watching TV. Find a time that your own audience is most approachable for sharing your message.

3. Be appealing. Commercials don't whine, beg or beat you into purchasing. They show how their product will enhance your life by making you more successful, attractive, and healthy. Be positive in your approach so your audience can see the benefits of your message.

4. Use humor. The most effective advertisements use humor to make their point. I enjoyed the Chevy commercials that featured the Santa salesman during the holidays and simply HAD to watch them when they came on. When I make things fun or add a dash or humor, my family is much more receptive to my direction than when I drone on and on (as I am inclined to do.) You don't have to be naturally funny - sometimes just lightening up a bit is all you really need to do.

5. Be clear. Don't you hate having to try and figure out what a sign or advertisement is about? Maybe the logo is too small or the layout too cluttered. Maybe it's just too darn confusing, like those perfume commercials are. A simple, clear message that is easy to understand eliminates a lot of frustration and miscommunication.

Today's Small Thing is to plan for effective communication by using one of the above 5 tips.

Instead of simply blurting something out without thinking, take a few minutes to make a plan. Think about your audience, your timing, your tone and your message. Ask God for wisdom and grace....and a sprinkling of humor. Ephesians 4:29 comes to mind.

How can you communicate what you want/need so that your "customer" will buy in? I'd love to hear what this will look like today. And please feel free to share other marketing tips you've observed!

Song of the Day: Say All I Need, OneRepublic

Get Crackin'

Are you exasperated by the lack of response from your children (and spouse) when you tell them you need something done? Today's Small Thing reprises one of my favorite and most effective posts for getting them off their duffs and into action.

 

 Courtesy of Flickr

I'm relieved that the heyday of low-rise jeans is about over. They're so risky. If you happen to drop something on the floor, you have to think about who or what is behind you before you stoop to pick it up. And even if YOU'RE careful, you never know when you're going to get an eyeful of bottom cleavage from someone else who isn't worried about giving away a free show.

I've seen just about enough butt-cracks to know that most of it ain't pretty, no matter what kind of undies lurk beneath.

There's always been a ban on super low-risers at our house. We're a modest bunch, but even so, there are times when more gets revealed than just a BVD label. When we're at home home with the fam, we can relax our guard just a bit. You can sit cross-legged on the floor and no one is going to drop a penny down the gap. However, be forewarned that you might be notified if even so much as your "Pre-Crack" is showing.

A Pre-Crack is the area just above the actual crack, characterized by mounded flesh just below hip level. It's kind of your Pre-Bottom valley. Everyone has a Pre-Crack, even thin people, who might have a couple of dimples there to introduce the lower crevice.

I'd like to talk about Pre-Cracks as a public service today, but I'm not going to discuss the physical ones on our bodies. I'm talking about Pre-Cracks as a verb to denote what a woman needs to do in order for people in the household to get a-crackin on whatever task she needs them to do.

Pre-Crackin the Whip, if you will.

I've found that motivating children, husbands and even co-workers can be difficult.  I've often entered a room to find my homies draped over the furniture like ragdolls, mindlessly watching re-runs of Fresh Prince of BelAir, and looking at me blankly when I suggest they get up and do something productive.  

They seem so...surprised. And more than a little bummed.

It always works better when I give advance warning that "in X amount of time I will be asking you to do X activity." I sometimes like to add that I will expect "X attitude" when the time comes in which I will do the asking. That last X stands for "willing and cheerful."

The Pre-Crack speech is effective because it allows my children time to adjust their thinking and finish up what they are doing, before they "cheerily" get off their duffs and on to my request.  

It respects their time and dignity while setting the tone for what is to be expected next.

Today's Small Thing is to expose your Pre-Crack by planning ahead. 

Don't spring "Time for Bed, NOW" on your darlings. Set a time, give them advance warning and then (here's the tricky part), follow through. And don't just walk in and hand your man a wrench and expect him to turn immediately from ESPN to fix the wash machine. Try greasing the skids a little with a general discussion ahead of time as to what your needs are.  The Pre-Crack lets others know what's coming and gives them a chance to zip up their duds to work with you.

The bottom line is that a Home Sanctuary fosters a spirit of cooperation within the family. Sometimes we need to wedge a bit of kind, advance instruction and a 5 minute warning in there to make it happen.

And a smooth end, my friend, is a beautiful thing.

 

Company Girl Kudos for Pre-Crackin the whip (or just explaining nicely what you want in advance). Extra CG Kudos for following through with appropriate encouragement, reward and/or discipline for cooperation, or the lack thereof.

Would love to hear your Pre-Crackin' story today! How has this method helped you? Is a Pre-Crack something you could incorporate into your parenting strategy?

Song of the Day: I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow, Soggy Bottom Boys

Housekeeping Advice for New Moms

I love talking with moms of babies and preschoolers, and I often get questions about how to handle housekeeping responsibilities with the demands of taking care little ones at home. Maybe the reason I love sharing my tips is because I struggled with this a lot myself as I tried to juggle a baby on one hip while looking at the mess that was supposed to be my living room. It's what started me on my quest for creating a sanctuary.

Recently, a reader named Jennifer emailed me and asked it this way: many of the housekeeping schedules I have seen don't seem to be made for mommies with really little ones.  How did you survive infancy and toddlerhood while maintaining a home sanctuary?

Today, I'd like to share with you from my (edited) email to her. Maybe you're right smack in the baby-makin'/baby raisin' years and could use it....or maybe you're long past diapers but know someone who might need some encouragement and you can pass this post to her - either way, we are women helping one another along. It's what we do. This is not meant to be a comprehensive list of tips and advice, just my "shoot from the hip" thoughts.

The baby and toddler years, to me, are the toughest parts of the parenting/homekeeping journey. With my three kids, I felt like I should have T-shirts that read "I survived my baby's first year!" for each of them. Seriously, that first birthday felt like a huge milestone for me because I just found myself very stretched in during that time, to say the least. I loved my babies, but I did not always love the work that went the baby years. I was tired a lot.

People always tell new moms to use baby's nap times to get things done but I found this advice useless. You should know that I always took naps when the babies napped and never got anything done when they slept.

 

How do you make a housekeeping schedule work without either being a slave to it or giving up altogether? I think it's best to find something super simple that will work for you in this season. A year from now, you might find that something completely different will work because your baby will be able to play a little on his own or stay occupied while you work on the house. This is a passing season that will change - and a lot of the chaos will go away with it.

 

My suggestion is to keep things as easy as possible.

 

1. Focus on one task at a time if you can, for example, work on laundry on Tuesday (random pick). Keep after it in between snacks and boo boos and diaper changes. Don't use laundry day to run errands or clean out drawers. Whatever you don't finish, leave until next Tuesday if possible. Then you don't even have to think about it for a whole week and it is off your mind. Buy plenty of underwear. :)

 

 

2. Have a basket, bin or drawer in every single room that you can throw toys and clutter into on a moment's notice. Get your toddler used to picking up at sorta regular times - before Daddy gets home from work, before bathtime. Use a timer and set it for just a few minutes so he learns that picking up is a game that is quick and fun.

 

3. Realize that starting a new family, regardless of how long you've been married, means huge changes in your life (and how you see your role in life.) This is great stuff, but also stressful stuff. Add to that other circumstances, such as job issues, in-laws, tight finances, illness, etc, and all of that really affects your ability and motivation to do much more than survive. And survival is good! You should give yourself credit for that. Don't measure your "success" as a homekeeper on the basis of such eventful years. Dishes can wait, kisses won't. Don't let what what is "undone" rob you of the joy to be had in gooey smiles, finger painting and playing peek-a-boo. There will be plenty of time to become a housekeeping goddess as time goes on.

 

4. Don't set yourself up for failure by biting off more than you can chew. Aim low if you have to, but just aim at something. They say if you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time. :) Instead of having the goal "Have the whole house sparkling every day," shoot for "I'll have the dishes done each night before bed so I can wake up to a clean kitchen." Small victories are powerful and they lead to more victories. Hence, the "Small Things," my personal coping strategy.

 

 

5. If a simple schedule is just not doable (and many, MANY times I've abandoned all hope of having one) just work on daily Minimum Maintenance. Seriously. And then just jam stuff into closets when someone comes over if you need to - ha! A schedule is a tool - and if it doesn't work for you, then no big deal. Just be willing to revisit it periodically because one day you might find it's just the thing for THAT PARTICULAR season.

 

6. Don't compare yourself to others, and stay away from the blogs that make you feel "less than." You know, the ones with beautiul pictures of people's fabulous crafts and gorgeous decor and gourmet cooking. Inspiring? maybe. But mostly, they make us feel dissatisfied or worse, like failures. Listen. You are EXACTLY who you are supposed to be for your husband and baby. You are their gift and they are yours. You will make it. Believe that.

 

 

Almost all older moms will tell you - "enjoy this time." I'm so glad I took those words to heart when my children were small. No, I didn't enjoy poopy diapers or teething or temper tantrums, but I did try to focus on the idea that those years would be fleeting, and I should try to make the most of them. My "baby" boy turned 18 last week - and he was a clingy little guy for the first four years of his life. He thought I should hold him from morning until night - it was extremely inconvenient and tiring ;). I felt I got nothing accomplished until he was in school - LOL. Those years were messy and frustrating, but I loved them. And the memory of that time in my life is very, very special. He (and my other two kids) are proof that blubbering babies eventually turn into beautiful young people, and now I can mop my floors to my heart's content, which is still practically never.

 

 

Today's Small Thing is to take a moment to share one piece of advice you might have for a mom with little ones who is trying to keep up with the tasks of homemaking. 

What is something you wish you'd known then that you know now? Or what trick did you learn that helped you deal with the mess and chaos that are naturally part of that season of life?

 

If you are a new mom, what is your biggest challenge right now? Perhaps someone will chime in with something that could help you! 

 

Special thanks to Jennifer, for allowing me to share from our emails today. 

Song of the Day: Baby Mine, Bette Midler

 

Webcast Video with Priscilla Shirer

If you missed the live webcast on "Loving Your Children" with Priscilla Shirer, Chrystal Hurst and me, here is the video verison of it! We had a great time....and could have talked for another three days and still not covered it all. This is part of the series Priscilla is doing with her latest book, The Resolution for Women. Wow, what a great topic!

Thanks, Priscilla and Chrystal!  You are a couple of very wise mamas!!

 

Watch live streaming video from goingbeyondministries at livestream.com

Updates...

Bob, doing what he loves to do - helping people shoot better with DryFire.

Quick update on my father in law, Bob Ridge. He is home and doing well after a second stent was put in on Friday. The doctors and staff said again how lucky he is to be alive. Had he arrived any later to the hospital, the outcome would not have been a good one. We are so grateful and excited that he had such an excellent result. It's been a GREAT weekend of rejoicing!

Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement. When something like this happens to someone you love, it makes you realize that each day is a gift......and so many of the things we get worked up over are really pretty silly in the big scheme of things. It is good to be grateful, and good to be "in" each moment. None of us knows how many of those moments we will have - and it would be sad to miss out on the preciousness of them in our rush to accomplish the tasks on our To Do lists. 

Today is the first day of school - the "last First Day" for our son, Grayson. He is a senior in high school this year and I am savoring it. I will have our traditional chocolate chip cookies waiting for him when he gets home and I will try not to puddle up when I see him dunking them in milk....just like he has for the last twelve First Days. He's still just as cute as that first grader he was a blink ago! {wiping tear}

Our annual First Day photo.

Embrace the day. :)

Blessings to you, my sweet friends!!

Love, Rachel