Home Sanctuary

I Met Zoanna in Real Life!

There is a long story why there is no Small Thing posted today but the short version is: late hockey practice last night, computer problems, pinched nerve in neck, can't get out of bed. I'll be back with it tomorrow.

In the meantime, I want to share this:

Zoanna and Me

Yesterday, I had the fun experience of meeting long-time Company Girl Zoanna (of Penchant for Pens) when she had a brief stop in Dallas.

My suspicion proved true: Company Girls are the best people in the whole world. She is just as sweet in real life as she is on her blog.

We felt like we'd known each other for years, and we kinda HAVE. It is this crazy thing about blogging that opens up your world to people who are kindred spirits - if you look, you really can find them. Zo is that kind of person - generous, funny, witty and thoughtful. Who would think that we could connect, even though separated by half of the USA? It's so cool.

I, on the other hand, was not so thoughtful. I made her late for her next plane and did not bring her any food, so she had to involuntarily fast on her next flight. I feel awful about that. I'm so sorry, Zo....I'll do better next time.

I love getting to meet my online friends IRL!

Stop over and get to know her...tell her I said "hi!"

Heart Stealer

I'm breaking my vow of blog silence because I miss my son and I can't help it.

Grayson left for a father-son fishing trip into the hinterlands of Minnesota, to be followed by two weeks of hockey camp. My two "boys" are in hog heaven, and ok, I admit that I'm thoroughly enjoying a few days of solitude. 

Just before he left, we sat on the couch, snapped some phone photos and talked about the summer. It's only mid-July, but it feels like it's almost over. After camp, there will be the inevitable Cramming of the Summer Reading and Other Assignments that somehow didn't get started done, the back to school shopping, and the final swimming parties with friends. Squeeze in a haircut, dates with his girlfriend and taking the driving test we didn't have time for, and that's pretty much it.

And as hard as I'm trying not to imagine an invisible clock ticking in my head, it's tough not to think about this being his second-to-last summer home.  Grayson will be a junior this year. And then a senior. And then....I can't say the words because I have a lump in my throat.

   

That boy.

I've always thought of him as my Gift. He stole my heart from the moment I laid eyes on him. I didn't mean to poke him with a diaper pin that time when he was a baby, but I somehow gave him an inch long scar from it on his belly. He says I scarred him for life.

I guess we're even then. Reserved and smart, Gray is one of those kids who is good at a lot of things. He can draw and paint better than me, he knows all about every kind of airplane (and flies them on his flight simulator), understands low pressure systems in the atmosphere, calculus equations and the hidden symbolism on LOST. He knows fishing lures and how to shoot a shotgun, knows how to tie knots and how to climb trees. He knows how to play hockey and golf, and he knows how to sleep in - even with the sun shining right onto his eyelids.

And he sure knows how to make me laugh.

Whether he is wrestling with me over a new tub of ice cream to be "First to Dig In" (a family tradition), showing me a dance move or delivering a clever line, I'm hopelessly entertained by him.

I've come to appreciate teenage humor's reliance on jokes about bodily functions because of him. A well-placed fart joke is about as funny as it comes when you're 16, and I'd be foolish to miss out on half the laughs in an effort to refine him into boring gentility before his time.  Rest assured, I only snicker quietly, so as not to give complete endorsement.

 

I often think about how we used to stop the car to watch bulldozers and cranes at construction sites. And how exciting it was when we got stuck at railroad crossings and the conductor would acknowledge us with his train whistle.  Life just didn't get much better than that. This was the kid who liked for me to sit for hours on end and simply watch him play. He loved my company and wanted me to be with him every moment of the day. He was stuck to my hip like a barnacle for the first four years of his life - and I thought he might never become independent of me. I worried for him.

But I shouldn't have. At 16, Gray is making decisions about his life that really make me proud. He is thinking about college and choosing a degree in aerospace engineering that will be a challenge, to say the least. He brought his Bible to hockey camp, a place not known for having a whole lot of religion, and says he hopes to have a chance to share his faith while he's there.  Grayson is shouldering more responsibility at home, earning his own spending money from a summer job, and is a leader at school. He wears his retainer without being told. 

I can see him working on mastering the attitudes that all teenagers struggle with: honor and respect, security and self-confidence, integrity and courage, maturity and faith.  These are the years that the baton gets passed, and he has left the starting blocks and is sprinting with hand outstretched to grasp it.  You really can't ask for anything more as a parent, and I am so grateful. 

I was invited to go along on the fishing trip, but in the end I jumped at the chance to stay home and get some much-needed projects done.  I don't really have the stomach for catching walleyes for days on end. And in my heart I know that his dad hears the ticking of that clock even louder than I do. Several days filled with rods and reels and guy humor is probably the best thing for both of them right about now.  

So forgive me for getting sentimental like this, but it's one of those times that just kinda snuck up on me.  When I looked at the photos of my boy and I on the couch, I just couldn't help it. Something wonderful is almost over, and even though I know that the future ahead is bright, it still feels sad. Darn it all!

Please pass me some tissues. I think I'm going to cry.

 

I Feel Dumb

Tonight, I sat down at the computer to prepare for tomorrow's Company Girl Friday. I got my post together, uploaded photos.......and then realized:

I was a day late.

TODAY was Friday. I'd missed it.

I am so sorry! I've been so wrapped up in getting this 50th anniversary together and finishing up all the details that I completely forgot what day it was. I really feel dumb. Argh!

Well, even though I made us all miss our coffee time together, I'll just go ahead and post the photos of my mural progress, as several of you have asked about it.

A hidden mouse in the bathroom, peeking out from behind the towels.

 Blurry, sorry.

 

Three young ponies, eagerly looking out their stall door.

 

I added pink flowers, greenery and a basket of apples. I also scattered some random bricks around the "blank" areas on the walls.  You can see a few to the left of the door.

The jumping horse and girl rider are pretty much done.  I will add distant horses and details to the fence later....

 
I didn't get much of a chance to work on it this last week, due to guests coming in and all. HOPEFULLY, I will finish it next week.

Hopefully.

If I don't forget what I'm supposed to do. 

Weekend Photos

If you are bored to tears by other people's random photos, then just roll your eyes at mine and move on. If, however, you enjoy seeing glimpses of complete strangers' lives, here are a few from our Dallas "blizzard."

Our cedar gate has never looked prettier.

My Valentine and I, enjoying a moment of sweetness shortly before he launched a gigantic slush ball at me and hit me in the leg. I now have a huge purple egg on my thigh, not exactly what I needed.  "It's all fun and games until your wife gets hurt," noted our son.  He gets his brilliant observational powers from my side of the family.

Here is Grayson (16) and me, holding saucers that have been languishing in the barn for 7 years.  My man waxed them (ala Clark Griswald) for maximum speed.

Who needs a bobsled when you can use saucers made for children? My husband snapped split-second photos of our descent...quite funny. Here's one that makes me smile.

They let me go down the hill all by myself! Apparently, sticking out your tongue keeps you from spinning around and flipping over.  At least, that's what they TOLD me.

 

Walking up snowy hills is really great for the thighs.  Too bad it never snows like this around here, I guess my thighs are out of luck.

This guy is my favorite teenager in the world.  Isn't he adorable?? I heart him.

The Barn House.  I would have given anything to grab a paint brush and fill in the spot behind the enormous rose bushes that I could never get to.  All this time, all I needed was 14 inches of snow to bend them back far enough to get in there. Sigh.

Flash did not enjoy the snow. My husband had mercy on him and let him into the barn area that he uses for projects so he could warm up and eat some hay.  Otherwise, Flash wouldn't have had enough sense to get into his own shed.  Flash, you're a mess, baby.

       

It was a fabulous treat for us to experience "real" winter weather, even if only for a weekend. 

Thanks for letting me share! Rachel Anne

Please Pray for Shawn

My sister-in-law is having a double mastectomy for breast cancer this morning and I'd like to ask you to say a prayer for her today.  She is young (45) and very healthy otherwise and her doctors tell us that she has a very good chance of 100% recovery.  But this is not what anyone wants to go through.  Our hearts are heavy.

Shawn is an amazing mom to 4 year old Annie, and great wife to Jurgen.  Her trust in the Lord through all of this is a testimony to her life of faith and courage.  I'm simply blown away by her focus and strength.  We know there will be some tough days ahead and she will need every bit of that strength to return to complete health.

She has two specific prayer requests. She asks:

1) That the cancer in my right breast will be shown to still have very clear and defined margins

2) That the surgeon will not have to remove more than 2 lymph nodes on either side, and that the lymph nodes will be totally clear of cancer cells.

Shawn, Jurgen and Annie

Thank you so much, my sweet Company Girls!  If you would like updates, or would like to leave Shawn a note of encouragement, they have set up a blog for this purpose.

http://soundspiration.com/carriedgrace/

Rachel Anne 

UPDATE: 8:03 PM Shawn's surgery went well, but it was a long day of waiting on tidbits of information as they came available.  The great news is that the lymph nodes appear to be benign and there was no sign of the cancer spreading!  What an answer to prayer.  The harder news was that they had to take more skin and tissue than they'd planned, so the recovery and reconstructive surgeries will take much longer than expected.  There will be more pain involved. I hate that for her.

But we are rejoicing in the good news about the lymph nodes (only two on each side were removed, I believe) and the fact that she went through the surgery with no complications makes us want to jump up and down.  Thank you, Lord.

Jurgen is so appreciative of the prayers and notes of encouragement on their blog.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the sweet gestures toward people you don't know, but who mean the world to me.  

Rachel Anne

Babies and Fireflies

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Today would have been my due date.

This was the baby I was too old for.  The one I shouldn't have wanted because we were so far past the "baby" stage of life. 

But I did want that little one, even if at first I was afraid. I fell in love with that tiny life in the few weeks I had with it.

And I imagine how different this day could have been: welcoming a small bundle into our almost-entirely grown up family and how it would have changed everything.  Oh, it would have rocked our world.

Instead, we went to a wedding of one of our daughters' childhood friends.  And we were struck by how quickly the time flew from the girls' first grade until now. It was a blink of an eye.

I know starting all over with a new baby would not have been easy. But I loved those years: the binkies and bottles, the tiaras and slumber parties. And I know now how fast those years pass into the memory books and how precious they are.  Maybe this time around I wouldn't have gotten so upset about the toys left out, or the tantrums, or the lumpy sock problems.  I'd like to think I'd have been more patient.  I would have worried less and enjoyed more.

I would have liked another chance.

Last evening, I took a walk down our country road, which meanders through some woods.  I felt restless and confused, and had to clear my head. As darkness fell under the towering oaks, something caught my eyes.  A million fireflies appeared in a small clearing, sparkling and dancing just beyond me.  They twinkled and shimmered like fanciful stars, and the enchanting scene took my breath away. I stopped to experience the wonder of it. 

And I thought of my baby just then.  Like a dancing, sparkling little light.  So quick, so elusive and so utterly beautiful.  It had been a flicker that faded almost as soon as it had sparked, and then it disappeared into the twilight.

I'd caught my breath and held it, those months ago.  Enchanted, hopeful, awed at the wonder.  And in the end, I had to let it go.

But the beauty of that spark will stay with me forever.  Just beyond my reach, but always in my heart.

Company Girl Weekend Report

I HAVE to throw in an extra post today!  I want to share what a wonderful time I had with Dawn of Fry Moments and Musing Mommies this weekend!  

Dawn managed to find her way to my house in the dark (not easy on our country roads) late Friday night.  We stayed up past midnight talking and eating the wonderful sopapillas she made for the occasion.

On Saturday, we worked on the photos for the Company Girl book.  Oh, the decisions!!  Heart-rending. We selected, edited and laid out pages.  We drank coffee and laughed and talked. 

It's just the kind of work that is perfect for Company Girls like us.

Dawn has the rest of the story here, but for now I would like to extend a huge "thank you" to her for taking time away from her family to drive 3 hours to spend two nights with a someone she only knew through blogging, to work on a project.  I had such a great time with her and found we had so much in common.  Her artistic and professional touch will be felt in the book, but even more, her friendship will be treasured forever.

Thank you, sweet and beautiful Dawn!!

Welcome, A Soft Place to Land Visitors!

Kimba, at a Soft Place to Land, invited me to guest post while she is on vacation.  In a word, she has a LOVELY blog...full of beautiful ideas and resources to create a "soft place to land" for your family.  I just love it and am so honored to fill in for her today.

I hope you'll stop over and read my tale of a series of unfortunate events that was truly instrumental in our family's journey toward finding sanctuary.  It's funny how I get so busy yakking about the Small Things that I forget to share my own story, and it takes an invitation to write on someone else's blog for me to remember to tell you some of the things that are closest to my heart.

If you are visiting from Kimba's blog, WELCOME!  Have a look around, click on the tabs up above to see what this blog is all about, and have fun!  We'd love to have you join the "Company Girls" as we make our homes sanctuaries, one small thing at a time.

Rachel Anne

Newsletter News

Hey, have you signed up to receive my newsletter yet??

Hopefully, the answer is YES!!

Later today I'll be sending out my very first (short, yet riveting) newsletter.  In it, I'll be featuring a special Company Girl, who graciously agreed to answer some tough, Katie Couric-like questions.  (Just kidding, I threw her some easy softballs!)  This girl is an amazing mom, a woman of faith, and a someone who has blessed me in countless ways. Fun and wise and sweet, you'll want to get to know her better.

Who IS this mystery girl??  Well, the only way you'll find out is if you click on the "join" page and fill out the little form thingy!  Or, if you got an email from me about a week ago, asking for permission to send it to you, just click on the link within the email to "opt-in."

Simple.

Then just look for something in your email box from me to arrive soon!

PS If you are in the Dallas area, you'll also find out how you can hear me speak at a local event!  woo!

April's Verse - Psalm 51:7

I've been musing about laundry lately.  Maybe it's because God uses the most mundane things to speak to me.  No grandiose visions of heavenly choirs here, nope, nuh uh.  He speaks to me in a language I understand...the language of spot removers, sudsy water and clotheslines.

This devotional is for anyone who has ever prayed, "Lord, You May Wash Me on the Gentle Cycle, But Please Don't Put Me Through the Wringer and Hang Me Out to Dry."

Our verse this month made me remember my grandmother's back porch.  It was home to shelves filled with Ball jars of jams, jellies and canned vegetables, a deep sink and an old fashioned wash machine.  It was the kind of machine that was made in the 1940's or 50's, complete with an electric wringer attached.

To our modern 70's eyes, that wash machine was awfully Old School.  My grandmother would start with the whites and work her way to the denim overalls, carefully putting each item through the wringer to squeeze out the water after it had been washed.  Then came the task of hanging the laundry out to dry on a clothesline.  The job of washing clothes was laborious, to say the least.  There was no "multi-tasking" while doing laundry, because it took all your effort to get it done.

People in Bible times knew all about hand-washing clothes.  They may have used rocks and sticks to beat the clothing, and soap made from lye and animal fat.  So when David gives his heart-rending prayer in Psalm 51, after being confronted by Nathan over his sin with Bathsheba, he understands what is involved in being made clean.  Only he wasn't talking about his clothes, but his heart.

It's funny how a crisis can put the state of our hearts into a whole new perspective.  When things are just purring along, we sort of think all we really need is a gentle spot cleaning with a Q-Tip to keep our souls pure.  But when things start falling apart, we are faced with the reality of our own filth, our sinful pride, and our lack of faith.  It's when things get uncomfortable, like losing a job, a relationship souring, or finding ourselves in a crisis of our own making, that we start getting serious about the condition of our heart.  I think sometimes God lets these predicaments happen so that we can get beyond our superficial prayers of "Bless me, Jesus," to "Oh, God!  Do what you've gotta do to make me right with You!"

See, David is saying some really important things, here.  First, he says "wash me with hyssop," which was a ceremonial way of purifying from sin.  The hyssop branch was what was dipped in lamb's blood and touched to the doorposts during the Passover.  It symbolized purification from sin by the shedding of blood, a forecasting of the shed blood of our Savior.  Awesome.  It is only through the death of Jesus that we can find forgiveness.

Then he reiterates this by saying, "God, YOU wash me!"  In essence, David is saying "scrub me, pound me, put me through a wringer and hang me in the purifying rays of the sun so I can be as white as snow!"  He knows he needs more than a tender dabbing of the surface to be made clean....he needs the very fibers of his being to be washed.  He wants to be soaked and worked over by the hands of his forgiving God.

That's where I want to be today.

I don't want to be content with a little dry-cleaning now and then.  I'll take the agitator, and the wringer and the clothes pins if that's what it takes to be where I need to be with my Lord.

I hope you'll take the time to read the entire 51st Psalm today.  I would have loved to have used the whole thing for our scripture, but I've already gone long this morning.  David goes on to ask for a clean heart, a steadfast spirit, and for the joy of his salvation to be renewed.  He understands that God doesn't just leave us in a state of penitence and sorrow, but gives us new life and hope in Him. 

I'm going to stop now, before I REALLY start preaching!

Today's Small Thing is to print off (or download to your computer) Psalm 51:7 and put it where you can see it.  Meditate on what it means to be cleansed by the blood of Jesus and washed by His Word.

POINTS: 40

Download Psalm51.7