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Meet Edna Ellison: Holy Coincidences

This morning I would like to introduce you to a woman I "coincidentally" met last spring in Dallas.  Edna Ellison engaged me in conversation at a Book Expo and I immediately knew that God had placed her in my path for a reason.  I will tell you more about her ministry and message later this month, but for today I've asked her to tell us a little bit of her story.  Can God use "coincidences" to lead us?  Read on!

Edna writes:

When I was fifteen, I fell in love with the boy next door, Snow Ellison. My high school sweetheart played football and was a handsome guy with dark hair and lots of personality. After dating three years, we married, and it was a marriage made in heaven. Active as a deacon in our church, Snow managed a store in town, and after four years, I went back to school so I could teach English at our high school nearby.

Twenty-three years and two teenagers later, our family went to a high school football game together, as usual. We were having a great time in the stands, cheering for our alma mater, when just after halftime my husband whispered, “Edna.” I heard him in spite of the roar of the crowd, and turned just in time to see him lean down to a lying position in the stadium seat and whisper one last time, “Edna.” In spite of nurses and doctors who appeared quickly out of the stands, vigorous CPR, and attempts with a defibrillator to revive him, he died before the ambulance reached the hospital.

My life changed dramatically, but one thing I know absolutely: God is as good as His promises. Long before, I had memorized His wonderful words, “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5)—and He didn’t. 

I was amazed that I was not mourning! I could think of nothing but Snow’s joy as He stood before God in heaven. A euphoria took over, and I could hardly keep from grinning. I had every reason to be sad. My husband was the best lover, the best godly Christian husband, the best hilarious friend any wife ever had. Yet I was not grieving. 

I tried to tell myself to stop smiling, because I’d always thought a widow should be screaming, “No!” or at least crying, especially over an untimely death (Snow was 49). Instead, I kept hearing God whisper in my ear, “It is fitting.” What does that mean? I thought, as hundreds of fans dropped by our house, three blocks from the stadium, after the game. Nearly every one of them said, “I’ll be praying for you.” And they did. 

Could it be that all my joy was overflowing because of their prayers? I’m convinced that was part of it. Another factor was that my “better half” was experiencing extreme joy in heaven. I had one foot in heaven already! We had always been so close, in “one flesh and one spirit,” that part of me felt a palpable peace and grace lifting me up from the grief. And here’s the best part. I never experienced the stages of grief, which I had studied in a church workshop: denial, harsh reality, bitterness, anger, resentment, and depression. Never. (I’ve met five other women in my lifetime that had the same experience. For some reason, after their wonderful husbands died, they never experienced grief. Like me, they felt odd that they were so much at peace--even joyful—and kept looking for grief to come, but it never did.)

  

As years went by, God continued to bless me. I took as my life’s verse these words: “All things work together for good to who love God and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). I knew God had allowed my husband to move up to heaven, leaving me with two teenagers. Therefore, He must be up to something. What was it? 

Through many miracles financially, I put two children through college on a school teachers’ salary. (--even going to school myself so that they could get government grants with more family members going to school at the same time!) I even earned a Ph.D. at the insistence of my daughter, Patsy, who urged me to do it for her. The degree later opened doors I never expected. 

Before Snow died, the most boring part of my life was grading student papers at night. Even worse, as the yearbook sponsor, I had to be sure the Beta Club report or the football game write-ups were the exact number of letters to fit the space on the yearbook pages. Our specifications to make one yearbook page were 25 lines of 35 characters. Late at night I’d count: 1, 2, 3, 4, . . . 33, 34, 35, slash (/); 1, 2, 3, 4, . . . . until I slashed-off 25 lines. I’d often look to God and ask silently, “Lord, why am I doing this with my life?” Though I loved the students and the final results seen in the yearbook, I didn’t enjoy the eleven years I endured that boredom every night as yearbook deadlines approached. 

A few years after his death, a church friend and talented writer asked me if I’d go to a writers’ conference with her. I answered no immediately. What could be more boring than being a writer? 

She asked me to pray about it, saying she couldn’t afford to go unless someone would share the expense of a room--$600. After hearing the amount, I halfheartedly prayed, “Lord, you don’t want me to do that, right? Yeah, I knew you didn’t want me to go,” and forgot her invitation. That Sunday, I decided to clean out Snow’s foot locker so my son, Jack, could use it at college. In the top tray was a mysterious envelope marked “Vacation.” Inside was exactly $600! Now that’s a holy coincidence! 

Nudged by God, I prayed again. I called my friend and told her I’d go—but not to take part in the writers’ conference. I would go on vacation, exercising, enjoying the fresh air, and swimming in the pool. The first three days were great. Then one morning with my towel over my shoulder, I saw this sign: Pool Closed for Repair: Rest of This Week.  

Out of bored desperation, I went to a small workshop on devotion writing, and—holy coincidence--received an editor’s invitation to write six devotions for a national denominational magazine. Later that day my writer friend convinced me that I probably couldn’t fulfill that invitation (“Devotionals are hard to write,” she said.),  but when I got a contract in the mail the next week, the specifications said, “Please write each devotional at 25 lines of 35 characters each.” What a coincidence! I could have done that in my sleep. I’d actually done that in my sleep many times. God had been training me late at night for eleven years! 

I wrote hundreds of devotions for a Standard Publishing magazine, and they used them later for a book.

Before the pool broke, I was eating breakfast one morning and a famous editor in my own denomination sat beside me. (I paid no attention to this stranger, eager to get out to the pool!)  Then I realized he was going around the table asking writers what they wanted to write. I was embarrassed to say, “I’m not interested in writing. I paid $600 to put on my bikini and swim in the pool every day.”  Then off the top of my heard, I remembered I had taught a church study recently about missionaries. When he asked me what I wanted to write, I quipped, “I want to write a good mission study. Some of them are really boring.” 

His response? “I’ll turn in your name to WMU (a missions-support organization) as a missions writer!”

I laughed, almost spitting out my cereal and milk. Sure, that famous man was going to turn my name in? 

Ridiculous.

You guessed it. He did. Then WMU asked me to write. In a holy coincidence, they interviewed me, saw I’d written hundreds of devotionals, one book (the earned PhD didn’t hurt my record, either), and, before I wrote even one page, they hired me as editor for the denomination’s national women’s magazine, Royal Service, now Missions Mosaic. I didn’t even know the editor’s position was open. I didn’t apply for the job, but I got it. Now that really is a holy coincidence!

When I realized this was a call from God, I had no excuse. Since my children were out of college (almost) and on their own, I moved away from my hometown two states away to a place where I knew no one, trusting God to lead me. I worked joyfully at “hard labor” as the magazine editor for eight years, returning later to that building as a speaker/trainer/consultant for several more years. 

     

I’ve since written 13 books (12 still in print), and God has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. Probably much like you, I’ve found God has sent one holy coincidence after another into my life.   

Edna tells her life stories of holy coincidences in her books, especially in the Friend to Friend Bible studies and the Deeper Still series. (Order at www.ednaellison.com, or contact her at ednaE9@aol.com.) Look for a new book which she co-authored with 4 women she mentored: A Passion for Purpose: 365 Devotions for Missional Living. Her two children and one grandchild are faithful and active in their churches and are finding God’s holy coincidences in their lives. 

God is Still Writing My Story

If certain years were given chapter titles, I would call my 2003 "The Year of Tears."

Why am I telling you about 2003 when it is almost 2009?  Because everything that happened that year has everything to do with what will happen this year.  Let me explain:

2003 was going to be one of those milestone years. 

I was turning 40.  And I just knew that somehow there were some good changes ahead.  I was so ready for good things to happen. My children were older: 9, 14 and 16.  We'd been working hard in our business and I was tired.  I'd loved the "stay at home" years but was willingly juggling a new career to help keep our family afloat financially, and I was looking for a different avenue to magically appear.

The first tears fell when my sister called to tell me that she was expecting her 5th baby.  I couldn't understand why I got so emotional over the news, except that I suddenly realized that those "baby" days were over for me.  I didn't expect to grieve it, but it felt like something had just... slipped away.  In the midst of working and raising kids and living, too many years had gone by to think about more children and it made me wistful for those wonder years.

But no wonder why I was so emotional:  You see, I didn't know it right then, but I was pregnant, too.

The next tears came when I took my third home pregnancy test because I didn't believe the positive results of the first two.  OK, yeah.  I'd been sad about not getting to have any more babies, but not nearly as sad as I was to find out that I would be 40 and having one, 10 years after my youngest child. My husband and I sat in stunned silence that first afternoon and then went to Applebees and talked through our tears.  This isn't what we planned.  This isn't what we wanted.  We certainly could not afford it. We were going to look like grandparents instead of parents. What would people think? My horror was complete.

But in the midst of my worry, I felt the words "this child will be my delight," just drop into my heart as I drove one day.  The fog started lifting.

As we settled into the idea of having a "caboose" baby, we started to embrace it.  It really didn't take long to start getting excited.  I was due within days of my sister AND my sister-in-law!  Three babies were coming at the same time!  We surprised my mother with three phone calls on Mother's Day, each of us telling her our news.  It was incredibly fun.

I'll never forget trying on maternity clothes with my teenage daughters helping me pull things over my head in a tiny dressing room.  We laughed at the absurdity and I closed my eyes to capture the wonder of a new baby and the beauty of my almost grown girls.  Heavenly.

But everything changed in an instant when, on a spur of the moment trip to Blockbuster with my son, we were hit in a head-on collision by a distracted driver.  The car was totaled, but other than bumps and bruises, we felt fortunate to walk away.  A quick trip to my midwife to hear the baby's heartbeat reassured us that the baby was fine.  I fell more and more in love with this baby and could hardly believe the blessing we were going to have.

I was so excited about the next appointment with my midwife!  It was scheduled several weeks after the accident, and I brought Grayson and Lauren along so that they would be able to hear the baby's heartbeat.

As the midwife moved the Doppler around my abdomen, she said maybe the placenta was in the way because she could not pick up the heartbeat.  I felt my own heart start beating faster, but she seemed so calm as she sent me to the Doctor's office nearby to get a sonogram, that it MUST be alright.  Please, be alright. Please, God.

We waited forever in that waiting room.  I mentally denied that anything could be wrong, but my daughter called my husband and told him to come and meet us.

Finally, I was led to the exam room and the sonogram confirmed my worst fear. I will always remember seeing the lifeless little form on that dark screen. Tears fell like torrents from both my husband and I as we clung to each other. The baby had died weeks earlier from an abruption of the placenta as a result the accident, and we hadn't known it. It must have died right after my visit to the midwife.

I won't describe the awfulness of going through an induced labor, when you know that at the end of all the pain there will be no baby to hold. Or the despair of having your milk come in when there is no infant to nurse. The sorrow is more than a person can take.  I wanted to wake up and have it all be over, but I had to live through each of those days with a giant weight on my heart.

We had a little boy, Collin Joseph, on August 8. There was a funeral in the rain and a very tiny box that was put into the ground.  And more tears.

The approaching holidays put new dread into my heart.  The thought of seeing my sister and sister-in-law, with their billowing stomachs made us decide to not join our family for Thanksgiving or Christmas.  It would be too awkward for them AND us. Somehow we made it through the holidays and the births of their beautiful little ones.

And this is the part that has always made it hard for me to share this story, because it is so easy to sound trite.  It is tempting to package it up and wrap it all up with a tidy bow, even though the healing has been anything but tidy. I know that God was there for us, and He comforted us in unexpected and wonderful ways. But there was also deep, deep sorrow.  Tears that would come at the oddest moments. Anger and despair. Questioning and loneliness.  Trying to understand why something so wonderful could appear so unexpectedly...and then be taken so suddenly.  Pangs over what we missed and simultaneous relief that our parenting journey was nearing an end.

I wish I could say that our faith soared in the midst of it all.  Instead, I can only say that we experienced God's grace in sorrow, and His strength in weakness.  We experienced what it was like to know that our friends and family shed tears with us. We knew the "right" answers about all things working together for good, and we did our best to focus on our blessings.  But my demands for answers came back empty.  It was as if the Lord said, "why do you NEED to know why?  Will it make any difference? You'll have to trust me just the same."  Strangely, I found comfort in that.

The years have gone by.  Our nieces are now 5 years old.  Our two oldest children have gone off to college and one is married.  Our son is in high school.  Time does have a way of healing.  Perhaps the "delight" I thought would be for me is bringing delight to my Father in heaven.  Though long in coming, I cherish the thought.

A friend asked me the other day if I still wished I would have another baby or if I was kind of "over" the whole baby thing.  I was watching her struggle to put a car seat in her car and lug all the baby gear around.

A million things flashed through my mind as I thought for a second and said, "No, I think I'm pretty much over it."  It felt good to say it and finally mean it.

But that brings me to another chapter.

October Verse - God of Time and Chance

Our verse this month comes from the book of Ecclesiastes, a book which seems to have a little bit of a "cynical" tone.  It was written by Solomon, a king who had seen it all and pretty much knew it all. Some scholars say that this book is based on human wisdom (as opposed to Divine wisdom), but there are nuggets in it that are pure gold, no matter how you slice it.  Solomon observes:

This scripture appears to be talking about the unfairness of life.  At first glance, it's a "hard luck" verse. It makes me think of the USA women's track team, who was a shoo-in for the 4x100 gold medal in the 2008 Olympics, but dropped the baton in the qualifying race in a case of bad luck.  What a heartbreak!

But for another team, who had trained just as hard and wanted that gold just as much, that race was a case of having the BEST luck imaginable!  Why, the unthinkable happened!  The gold did not go to the swiftest on that day, and the Russians were ultimately crowned the champions.  Time and chance went their way.

I certainly don't delight in anyone's "bad luck."  In fact, I don't even believe in luck at all.

But Time and Chance?  Now, there's another story.

You see, I believe in the God of Time and Chance.  I believe that there is a Supreme Being who defies all limits of time, who is INIFINITE and all-powerful, and who knows all about my battles here on this earth.  He creates opportunities, chances, if you will, for things to happen.

I absolutely LOVE Ecclesiates 9:11 because I know I am not the swiftest runner in the race.  I know I am not the strongest, or the smartest, or the most capable.  The odds are against me being a successful competitor.  The gold will most assuredly be given to someone else. 

But I have a heart that wants to win, and a soul that is giving God every opportunity to make me a "winner."  My job is to stay in the race when my inclination is to drop out after comparing myself to the others.  They seem so much more together.  So much smarter.  So much more connected and well-educated.  Look at me!  I'm a nobody!  I'll never win.

Ah!  But you never know when the God of Time and Chance will say, "This is YOUR day!  This is YOUR time!  This is YOUR race!  RUN, girl, RUN!"

God will put you in a position to succeed if you just keep preparing yourself.  Be willing to do the hard work of conditioning, even though the odds are against you.  Show up for the race, even when no one gives you a chance of winning. Get on the starting blocks and then run with all your might.  

Because "Time and Chance" happen to everyone!  Give all your best to God and let Him take care of the outcome. 

He will put you in the right place at the right time.

He will give you the opportunities you've been waiting for.

You see, this "hard luck" verse is really about a door being left open for all of us, at any given point in our lives.  When we are a David facing a Goliath, or a Gideon facing a huge army of Midianites.  When the deck is stacked against us and there is no hope of winning.  Except.

Except that we believe in the God of Time and Chance, who holds victory in His hands.

Today's Small Thing is to put Ecclesiastes 9:11 where you can see it.  Don't look at this verse through "glass half empty" eyes, but see it as a beacon of hope that says, "Your opportunity will come!"  Stay in the race no matter what.

POINTS: 40 for posting it up somewhere.

BONUS: 20 for sharing it (along with the devotional so it will make sense) with a friend...email it, forward it, copy and paste it, stick it on your fridge as a reminder!

Download October verse

Tomorrow: October prizes and tally sheet, finally!

Ephesians 4:24

The new arrival's parentage is unmistakable.  As much as we had speculated and convinced ourselves that our own donkey could SURELY not be the daddy, one look at that darling foal was all that was needed to bring about the guilty verdict.

Our preposterous donkey, Flash, is indeed, the father.

And that sweet baby brought a spiritual lesson home to me.

You see, that little one can't help that his ears are awfully long, or that his muzzle is a soft shade of tan.  He's got those circled eyes and small hooves, and a tail that's just a bit odd.  His gene pool gave him the characteristics of his father, and you can't mistake him for anything but a product of the one who created him.

Take a small leap with me here, but isn't that how we Christians are supposed to be?  A reflection of our heavenly Father?  Unmistakably marked and absolutely convincing in our lineage?

Our verse this month is Ephesians 4:24. (New Living Translation)

 

This scripture reminds me of how we often encouraged our children to behave.

We would say things like, "Remember, we are the Ridges!  We don't run wildly in the store and knock people down."  We would remind our kids of who they are and how they should act as a result.

This is exactly what Paul is doing in this passage.  He is telling us that we are a new creation, made in the likeness of God our Father, and therefore should act like a member of the family.

It's both a promise AND an admonishment.  Let's look at the promise part:

"You are a new person."  When we commit our life to Jesus Christ, we become a new creation--spiritually.  All the old junk is gone and everything inside is newly formed and beautiful.  You are given a new nature and the power, through the Holy Spirit, to live in a way that reflects the character of your heavenly Father.  It is the gift of redemption and regeneration.

"Created in God's likeness."  Jesus said, "if you have seen me, you have seen the Father."  He was the earthly image of the all-powerful God.  His nature, his personality, his character...if you want to know who God is, then look no further than his Son.  And scripture tells us that we are in Christ and Christ is in us!  We have everything we need to reflect the likeness of Jesus (who is like the Father).  As we abide in Him, we will bear the fruit that reveals our gene pool.

And this verse tells us about God's likeness in us:  righteous, holy and true.

His character in you is not self-righteous, but the kind of righteous that is humble and merciful because we know that is how God has demonstrated his love toward us. 

It is holy, which means "set apart."  Consecrated and made pure. 

And the word "true" means "steadfast, sure, genuine and authentic."  I don't know about you, but I want to be an authentic Christian because I've seen enough spiritual fakery in my life.  Give me the true holiness that comes from living and breathing and knowing God! 

But what about the admonishment?  That's in the first few words:  "You must display a new nature."  It means that, even though you've got the right genes, you could be living in a way that brings dishonor to the family name.  This is literally saying, "put on the new man!"  It is an act of obedience to walk in the Spirit and access what is already given you through faith in Jesus. 

When you are tempted to be critical, judgmental, gossipy or rude, remember that you really CAN walk the walk because you've already got the ability to do what is right within you.  You really CAN live free of addiction, sin and bitterness.  See, YOUR ears and muzzle and eyes look just like your father's, and maybe you just need to take a good look in the mirror to see the power of God at work in your life.  You are a new creation!  Never forget that.

Ephesians 4:24 is a tiny microcosm of the Christian walk.  It is the picture of the faith, grace and good works that we are called to and created for.  This is a scripture that can go right into action!  So Today's Small Thing is to print out and put it up, or save it to your screen so that you can be reminded of the truth in it.

POINTS: 40 for putting the scripture somewhere that you will see it! Use this Download Eph4.24Apdf

Where will you post Eph. 4:24 and what does is say to YOU?

Tummy Butterflies and New Chapters

I asked my son if he felt a little nervous.  We were on our way to the high school for his orientation and were just about to turn onto the campus.  He shot me a smile and a sideways glance and said "yep."  He pressed his hand to his stomach as if to quell the butterflies.

Oh, how I remember that feeling!  Especially when the first day of school meant going to a new campus or, even worse, a whole new school district!  This time of year brings all that back, maybe as we watch our children navigate through new territories or as we start new adventures ourselves.

I've been thinking of those of you who are embarking on a new chapter of life.  From young college women, to newlyweds, to brand new moms, to moms starting a homeschool year to those who are sending their children to school, many of us are experiencing those fluttery feelings all over again.  A new job or a new town can really get those tummy butterflies moving!

Whenever I've started something new, I've been tempted to turn right back around and run back to the familiar way things used to be.  Those nerves kick in and then the fear of the unknown starts to work its mojo and I feel paralyzed.  What if THIS happens, or THAT happens?  What if this is a big mistake? Oh no, this is going to be awful.

Today's Small Thing is to take a deep breath.  Since you're already breathing, this just can't get any easier!

What I mean by "deep breath" is to pause for a few moments to reflect on the marvelous God who has brought you this far.  Look back at the journey you've travelled with Him and remember His goodness and faithfulness.  Even in the roughest of times, He has never left you or let you down.  He has guided you, picked you up when you've fallen and sent you angels in disguise when you've needed them.

He is with you right now.

See, the Lord is writing your story, and no story is complete without some drama.  Some moments of "how will this ever turn out?" questions.  But He is the Master Author, and knows how to end each chapter so that you just have to keep going to find out what happens next.  He purposefully puts twists and turns into the plot so that we'll continue to trust Him and grow in our faith.  So that we stay dependent on Him.  Is that where you are at right now?  

Psalm 32:8 says, I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

I love knowing that the Lord is watching over me and writing my story.  I love knowing that He is watching over my children and writing THEIR stories, too.  There is great comfort in that.  It means that even when we can't see how this chapter will end, He is guiding us along to an exciting finish. 

POINTS: 50 for taking a few moments to pause in the action and focus on trusting the Author and Finisher of your faith.  Close out the rushing world for 10 minutes if you can today, and remind yourself of His faithful guidance and watchful care.

Have a Traveler's Mindset

Are you on a journey?  I am.

My life has never taken the "easy roads."  Oh, there have been some grand views and great adventures along the way.  But there have also been deserts and thickets, some big boulders and steep mountains.  I've wondered sometimes if God was such a great leader why He'd take me on such a meandering, difficult path.

And yet I believe that He has always been there, helping me along.  Even in those times that seem so dark, there is something in my heart that tells me to keep on going, keep pressing on.  It's His voice, telling me that HE knows my destination.

I love Psalm 84, because it talks about a journey. It's an ancient song that tells of longing, even fainting to see and experience the courts of the Lord, which was His temple in Jerusalem.   And as the writer describes the beauty of God's sanctuary, he pauses to talk about the trip to get there.

The rest of the Psalm is beautiful (and I encourage you to read it), but that's our verse to think about this month.  Just like last month, I'd like you to print off the verse at the end of this post and stick it somewhere that you will see it.  It's not one of those bland verses on a greeting card.  It's one you can sink your teeth into, and really be motivated by.  It's one to chew on and I love it.

Here are a few "Travel Tips," taken from this little jewel of a verse:

Pack Lightly.  Nothing slows you down like unnecessary baggage.  Why struggle along with the burdens of guilt, anger, and bitterness over the past?  Let those things go. Right now, today.  God is fully able to handle anything you give Him.  You'll be amazed at how much easier it is to travel when you aren't lugging big old bags that don't have anything in them but garbage.

Pack Lightly, but Pack Some Heat.  The trip will take you through some dangerous territory, so you need to carry some self-protection.  God's word is our weapon of choice against the enemy's attacks.  Hidden in its pages are power and life. The more you know, the better you can fight off Satan, who would love nothing better than to leave you stripped and broken by the side of the road.  That ain't gonna happen when you're packing a serious weapon, and you aren't afraid to use it. Oh yeah.

Stay with your Group.  Find some good traveling companions, the kind that help you along, not bring you down.  Why, how about some Company Girls??  It's important to have people in your group that are familiar with the way, because they've been there before.   I love what's happening in our little sisterhood...we're encouraging one another every day, cheering for our victories and offering a hand to those who need it.  Don't wander off!  We need each other.

Hang on to your Ticket.  That means: know where you're going. When you set your heart on something, it means you have decided on it.  You aren't changing your mind.  You aren't turning back around.  By golly, you're gonna make it!  No matter what happens or how discouraging the trip may be, you've set your sights on your destination and that's where you're going.  And you WILL succeed.

Finally, Know Where Your Strength Is.  Strength for the journey doesn't come from your gene pool.  Lordy, I was BORN a quitter!  Strength comes from the Lord Himself, and this verse tells me that there is blessing in that very fact.  Whooeee, I like that I don't have to manufacture all that muscle by myself.  When you are feeling weak, just remember that He has all the strength you need to keep going.

I see these Small Things as a wonderful part of ALL of our journeys through life.  God has an incredible plan for each of us, but sometimes we don't see how or where is He is taking us.  Just keep believing, just keep trusting.  Keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Eventually, we'll get to a spot with a panoramic view that will blow our minds.

We'll say, "Look where He's brought us!  Look how far we've come!"

Girls, the trip will be worth the view.

POINTS: 30 for printing off the verse and putting where you can see it!

Let us know: Where are you in YOUR journey?  We want to cheer you on!

Download PS84-5A.pdf If for some reason the PDF file doesn't work properly, just use the small jpg above and I will get it fixed tonight for you.

Living a Life without Regrets

Everyone wants to live a life without regrets, but very few actually do it. When we were younger, "living without regrets" was a phrase we seemed to use much more often than we do now. I wonder why that is.

When our kids were born, we didn't want to regret how we raised them so I stayed home and devoted myself to motherhood the best I knew how. I certainly don't regret that. I don't regret being silly with them or letting them play in mud puddles or letting them dress up the cat. I also don't regret spanking them or trying to teach them manners. Lord knows they needed both.

During Tom's last year of college, we had a business opportunity and a choice to make: postpone his final semester of college to start a business or finish the degree on time and lose the opportunity. We didn't want to regret not taking a chance, so we took the business opportunity. Now that 20 years have passed, the business is long gone and he still has one semester left of college. Part of me feels a little regretful that we didn't let the opportunity wait while he finished that degree.

It's hard to know WHAT you'll regret years from now. Back then, we certainly couldn't see the pain and misery that business would bring us. But we also couldn't see how God used it to break us, humble us, and ultimately strengthen us. We just did the best we could with what we had, and sometimes that brings some regret along with it.

I think I've come to realize that a person who truly lives without any regrets is not the kind of person I want to be. Having no regrets means that you think you did everything right. That every decision you ever made was perfect and that if you had it to do over again, you'd do it exactly the same way.

And who of us can really say that? I regret that I didn't stand up for my daughter, Elle, like I should have when an adult said some horribly untrue things about her. I regret that I didn't write more letters to my grandparents, and that I popped pimples as a teenager.

Having regret is not always a bad thing. Many regrets go far deeper than popping pimples. When we hurt someone, we should regret it. We should regret immoral decisions. We should regret self-destructive behavior. Regret should make us take stock of ourselves and our actions. It should lead us to repentance and then to resolve. Without regret, there is no reason to change.

I'm really glad we've set out to live a life without regrets. It has helped forge the way we parent, the way we work and the things we believe. It helps chart our course through the tricky waters we often navigate. But just as important as purposefully living regret-free lives is, admitting that there will always be some regrets along the way may be just as important.

Acknowledging our regrets makes us vulnerable and imperfect. It makes us admit that we are not always the master of our own destiny, the controller of our universe. Regret helps us admit mistakes. It gives us empathy for others, and a common bond in another's struggles. It keeps us humble, and that's kind of how I think we are supposed to be. We don't have it all figured out.

Maybe that's why we talk about it less these days. We're still just trying to do it.

Head 2 Christ

A few weeks ago, I accompanied my friend Priscilla Shirer to a taping of Life Today with James Robison. It was SO COOL to see what happens backstage and meet James and Betty Robison in person. They have an incredible ministry providing food and water to children in remote parts of the world, and a television ministry that reaches millions.

That evening, they were interviewing Priscilla for two programs that will air in January. Of course, Priscilla was her awesome self, and spoke about how God really does speak to us. She makes it look easy, sitting in front of an audience and 3 cameras, just chatting away. I love how she just connects with people, and we all felt like we were sitting right in the living room with her, learning about how we can hear God's voice.

There was another program being taped that night, just before Priscilla's segments. The guest was Brian "Head" Welch, former guitarist for the band, KORN. Brian has an AMAZING testimony of redemption from an addiction to drugs and an out-of-control rock-star lifestyle. I got to meet him before the taping got started, and was impressed with his heart for Jesus and for reaching out to the people in his world. I saw a gentleman behind the tattoos, a man who is sold out and growing in his own faith.

Meeting Brian made me think about how many times I have judged people by their appearance or by the music they listen to. It's good to remember that we all, from soccer moms to drug addicts, need an encounter with a Savior. One of Brian's business associates took a chance and shared a verse with him that started him on a journey to faith in Christ. I wonder if I would have shared a verse with someone I thought might be "too hardened" to the gospel?

Brian has written a book called, Save Me From Myself, in which he tells his story. I haven't read it yet, but it's on my "To Read" list. You might know someone who would benefit from reading Brian's book, maybe someone who can relate to Brian's music and past. I think the book would make a great gift.

Maybe God is nudging you to take a chance like Brian's friend did, and share the Good News of Jesus with someone you know. I'm going to look for opportunities to share my faith beyond the soccer moms and Mary Kay parties. I'll start by getting a copy of his book and having it ready to give away.

Eden's Sanctuary: A Lite Treatise

A couple of weeks ago, I posted some thoughts on man's first home sanctuary, the Garden of Eden.  I'd like to park here for another minute and make a few observances about this very special place.

1.  God made an incredible earth, and then made an even more spectacular place for Adam and Eve.  He carefully placed them into this garden.  We were created for sanctuary...or sanctuary was created for us.  Either way, it explains the longing for it in our soul.

2.  God's creation was excellent in every way.

3.  The garden was separate from the world outside.  This is a very important point.

4.  The garden was separate from the world outside.  This point should be made twice.

5.  Eden was beautiful.  Some of the plants in there were created just for their beauty.  Just because.

6.  All gardens have an element of surprise:  you just never know how something will bloom and grow!

7.  Eden smelled heavenly, with all those flowers and trees and moss.

8.  Eden sounded lovely.  It was a symphony of bird songs, animal sounds, rustling vegetation and bablbing brooks.  There was no noise of TV's, blaring radios, or honking horns.

9.  There was plenty of nutritious food, and none of it came in a package.

10. It was the perfect temperature and atmosphere for Adam and Eve and all the living things.  In other words, Eden satisfied all their senses.  It was delightful.

11. Adam and Eve were created in the image and likeness of God.  Wow.

12.  Right smack in the middle of the garden were two trees:  right from the get-go people had choices to make.  Within their own sanctuary.

13.  Adam was given a job to do.  You could say he had a home-based business.

14.  Eve was given a job to do...to be his helper.  She was a workin woman.

15. Their job was to tend and care for the garden.  It needed maintenance and nurturing.  Life wasn't all fun and games in Eden, but I'll bet they enjoyed their job because it was their calling.

16. Their job required organizational skills, even without junk mail to sort and laundry to do.

17.  God showed Adam all the animals before He made Eve.  Some things never change.  Men still need to see their options and come to their own conclusions.  (Eve wasn't there yet to tell him how much he needed her.)

18.  Eve was a gift to Adam, created especially for him.  I wonder how I can be a gift to my own man?  I've got some thoughts on that, here and here.  Oh, and here.

19.  There were no parents or in-laws in the garden.  (Moses, who wrote the book of Genesis, threw in some commentary for free. v 24)

20.  They were both naked.  I'm not sure how much actual work was getting done with both of them running around naked, but I'm going to guess that there was plenty of sex.  Hmmmm.

21.  They had no shame.  They were intimately vulnerable with one another, on every level.

22.  God's presence was in the garden.  He walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day.  Great picture!  Their relationship with God was the central part of their sanctuary.

23.  After they ate of the forbidden fruit, they blamed each other for their problems.  Ouch, still true today.

24. Why did Satan use food to tempt Eve?  Because he knew she would fall for it.  Yeah, still true.

25. Adam and Eve tried to hide from God's presence because they knew they had disobeyed. 

26. Sin brought shame.

27. Sin brought an end to the first sanctuary.

28.God had to put guards outside the entrance of the garden because He knew they would want back in.

29. God called out to Adam, "Where are you?"

30. Somehow, I think God is still calling out to us, "Where are you?" 

I'm going through my list of observations and I'm trying to apply them to my modern-day home sanctuary.  Things like, 

Is it a place that pleases the senses?  Does it smell good?  Does it have a sense of beauty?  Does it feel good?

Am a vulnerable, open partner with my husband?  Is our relationship deep AND fun?

More importantly, am I walking with my Creator in the cool of the day?  Is my relationship with Him fresh and growing?

The garden of Eden speaks to me in a way that makes me want to capture the essence of what God planned for Adam and Eve, and infuse my home with it.  I've got a long way to go, but somehow just knowing that God delighted in creating that first home sanctuary for his prized people gives me a renewed vision for what I want my home to be. 

I would love to hear your observations about Eden and how you can apply it to your home.  Your comments?

Tender Mercies

Joby Thomas Rasmussen Dec. 1, 1986-Sept.9, 2007

Joby's funeral was Thursday. It was a day of deep, deep sadness and quiet celebration of a young life that touched so many people. There was standing room only in the chapel, as friends came to pay their respects to my nephew. I can't thank you all enough for all your prayers and emails and kind comments. It means so much to all of us.

My heart is overwhelmed with thoughts about this last week. So many of you have gone through your own tragedies, and know the feelings of shock, disbelief, anger, faith, love, and sorrow that seem to come in waves.  The feelings weave in and out of every waking moment and even invade my sleep.  Surely, we will all wake up and find that this has been a terrible dream.

And yet, through it all, we've felt uplifted and carried by our heavenly Father.  Even as we've asked the hard questions of life, His presence has been close.  He is truly near the broken-hearted, and how we have needed Him.  Oh, how Joby's parents need him every moment.

I've experienced one of the Lord's tender mercies in the middle of this heartache, and it has given me hope that Joby's parents will be comforted by His tender mercies toward them as well. It has come from the love poured out toward me and my family by 8 women I met by "chance" on the flight home from the Deeper Still conference in Nashville last Sunday.  I had sat down in the only empty seat I saw, and found myself surrounded by a group of ladies from Trinity Bible Church in Weatherford, Texas.  We immediately began to talk about the conference, and then our conversations moved on to every topic under the sun.  It was so fun and I felt an instant bond with these cute women. 

When we landed in Dallas and headed for Baggage Claim, my husband, Tom, met me and pulled me aside to give me the awful news about Joby.   We just clung to each other there on the bench at Love Field and wept in each others' arms.  Please, please tell me this isn't true.  God, no.  I couldn't believe it.

After several moments he left my side and went over to the ladies and told them.  They immediately flew across the room and covered me with their own tears, their prayers and their embraces.  I'll never forget being encircled by their concern.  These women, who had been complete strangers to me only hours before, now are forever etched in my heart as dear sisters.

Since then, they (along with so many of you) have emailed their prayers and words of comfort, and it has helped me come to understand the tender mercies of God's grace in the midst of deep sorrow.  Maybe it is a small thing, but the sweetness and comfort of that moment has washed over me again and again.  I am so grateful.

Joby's parents, brother and sister will need many tender mercies to strengthen them for years to come.  The other boys involved in the circumstances of the accident will need their own tender mercies as well.  Thank you all for your prayers for them, and for us.  We appreciate every thought, prayer and gesture of kindness on Joby's behalf.  I believe that the last chapter has not yet been written, and we will someday know the lasting effects of Joby's brief life here on earth.  He was such a sweet kid with a great heart.

My new "Southwest Airlines Sisters."  Thank you, sweet things.

 

Psalm 25:6 Remember, O LORD, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindnesses; for they have been ever of old.