Are you on a journey? I am.
My life has never taken the "easy roads." Oh, there have been some grand views and great adventures along the way. But there have also been deserts and thickets, some big boulders and steep mountains. I've wondered sometimes if God was such a great leader why He'd take me on such a meandering, difficult path.
And yet I believe that He has always been there, helping me along. Even in those times that seem so dark, there is something in my heart that tells me to keep on going, keep pressing on. It's His voice, telling me that HE knows my destination.
I love Psalm 84, because it talks about a journey. It's an ancient song that tells of longing, even fainting to see and experience the courts of the Lord, which was His temple in Jerusalem. And as the writer describes the beauty of God's sanctuary, he pauses to talk about the trip to get there.
The rest of the Psalm is beautiful (and I encourage you to read it), but that's our verse to think about this month. Just like last month, I'd like you to print off the verse at the end of this post and stick it somewhere that you will see it. It's not one of those bland verses on a greeting card. It's one you can sink your teeth into, and really be motivated by. It's one to chew on and I love it.
Here are a few "Travel Tips," taken from this little jewel of a verse:
Pack Lightly. Nothing slows you down like unnecessary baggage. Why struggle along with the burdens of guilt, anger, and bitterness over the past? Let those things go. Right now, today. God is fully able to handle anything you give Him. You'll be amazed at how much easier it is to travel when you aren't lugging big old bags that don't have anything in them but garbage.
Pack Lightly, but Pack Some Heat. The trip will take you through some dangerous territory, so you need to carry some self-protection. God's word is our weapon of choice against the enemy's attacks. Hidden in its pages are power and life. The more you know, the better you can fight off Satan, who would love nothing better than to leave you stripped and broken by the side of the road. That ain't gonna happen when you're packing a serious weapon, and you aren't afraid to use it. Oh yeah.
Stay with your Group. Find some good traveling companions, the kind that help you along, not bring you down. Why, how about some Company Girls?? It's important to have people in your group that are familiar with the way, because they've been there before. I love what's happening in our little sisterhood...we're encouraging one another every day, cheering for our victories and offering a hand to those who need it. Don't wander off! We need each other.
Hang on to your Ticket. That means: know where you're going. When you set your heart on something, it means you have decided on it. You aren't changing your mind. You aren't turning back around. By golly, you're gonna make it! No matter what happens or how discouraging the trip may be, you've set your sights on your destination and that's where you're going. And you WILL succeed.
Finally, Know Where Your Strength Is. Strength for the journey doesn't come from your gene pool. Lordy, I was BORN a quitter! Strength comes from the Lord Himself, and this verse tells me that there is blessing in that very fact. Whooeee, I like that I don't have to manufacture all that muscle by myself. When you are feeling weak, just remember that He has all the strength you need to keep going.
I see these Small Things as a wonderful part of ALL of our journeys through life. God has an incredible plan for each of us, but sometimes we don't see how or where is He is taking us. Just keep believing, just keep trusting. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Eventually, we'll get to a spot with a panoramic view that will blow our minds.
We'll say, "Look where He's brought us! Look how far we've come!"
Girls, the trip will be worth the view.
POINTS: 30 for printing off the verse and putting where you can see it!
Let us know: Where are you in YOUR journey? We want to cheer you on!
Download PS84-5A.pdf If for some reason the PDF file doesn't work properly, just use the small jpg above and I will get it fixed tonight for you.
Last week I wrote about Regrets. Several of you commented with such thoughtful, insightful words that I think I may have to do a follow-up. And then there was a comment from Kitty, one of my favorite story-tellers, making reference to an "unfortunate fake ID incident."
Well, you don't just get off leaving a cryptic reference like that and then go whistling back to your own little blog! Oh no, Missy! That was like waving chum in front of a hungry shark: I just HAD to know the rest of the story. So she emailed the whole sad tale to me, and I (sympathetically, of course) laughed through the entire thing. What are friends for? With her permission, I'm sharing her regrettable (but highly entertaining) adventure here:
Here goes. I've never been much of a drinker, but I am one year younger than all my friends. So when I was almost 20 they all started spending the weekends at this really fun bar and I felt left out. I got hold of my older cousin's ID. I have a ton of girl cousins and IDs were passed around a lot over the years. Which is why I wouldn't blog about this, as my mother reads my blog and I don't want to get anyone in trouble.
Keep in mind that I am now 30 and people sometimes think I'm a teenager. I was so worried about this when I was pregnant and my fingers were too swollen to wear my wedding ring. I could just imagine people thinking, "Oh, look at that poor, gigantic, unwed teenage mother." Also, when solicitors call they occasionally ask for my mom or dad. So I looked and sounded about 11 when I was 19-going-on-20. Trying to pass for 24.
Goodness, I'm making a short story long.
So the ID photo didn''t look all that much like me. It looked like... you know, my cousin or something? With big late eighties hair. It was now 1997 or so. I don't think it had expired, but my cousin lived in a small town and she hung on to that big bang look longer than necessary. I applied heavy eyeliner and teased my hair trying to match the photo. My friend drilled me about "my" date of birth, astrological sign, high school graduation year, etc. I reminded my friends about a dozen and a half times, "don't forget to call me CARA!"
When I got to the bar the bouncer let in everyone in my group. Even my friend's younger sister with a fake id. When my turn came he took one look at me and burst out laughing and told me to go home. He didn't even want to see my ID! I was soooo offended. After all, I was only one year younger than the rest of the group. It wasn't THAT ridiculous that I could be 21, rather than practically 20. That's when my red hair kicked in and got the best of me. Instead of making the obvious choice - heading home with my tail tucked between my legs... I made a scene. I absolutely insisted (bold-faced lied) that I WAS not just 21, but twenty-FOUR. Indignantly. Very huffy-like. I literally held up the line until that bouncer agreed to look at my TOTALLY VALID driver's license, which was very CLEARLY me! Harumph!
So then the bouncer told me that either he would confiscate my ID and I could go home or he would summon the police to verify my age. Did I back down? NO!! Surely if I still stood by my ID he would realize that it must be the truth and back down. What I failed to realize was that there was a policewoman on patrol walking up and down the block full of bars. I was envisioning a phone call, which would give me a few minutes to make my exit, if necessary. About two seconds after I told him to go ahead and call the authorities (kinda snotty-like, too), he waved her down.
So then I had the pleasure of being totally humiliated in front of the entire line of bar patrons and those passing by. I was given a citation and later had to go down to the police station and was officially arrested (fingerprints and everything!) for said unfortunate incident. I recently found out about the concept of expungement, so fortunately that silly evening no longer part of my permanent record.
So that is my VERY long (sorry!) story, which I realize does not paint me in a very flattering light. It is obviously the most stupid thing I've ever done. I do tend to lose my temper (okay, mind) when my feelings/pride are hurt, which still gets me into trouble to this day.
I rarely share this story, for obvious reasons. But I tend to remember it when I hear about teenagers and young people doing stupid things. Kinda keeps me humble.
I love Kitty's last lines, don't you? Thanks for sharing! Take a minute and go get to know her more over here, (look for her hilarious bra story) and maybe leave her a comment to let her know her regret is safe with the Company Girls.....
Everyone wants to live a life without regrets, but very few actually do it. When we were younger, "living without regrets" was a phrase we seemed to use much more often than we do now. I wonder why that is.
When our kids were born, we didn't want to regret how we raised them so I stayed home and devoted myself to motherhood the best I knew how. I certainly don't regret that. I don't regret being silly with them or letting them play in mud puddles or letting them dress up the cat. I also don't regret spanking them or trying to teach them manners. Lord knows they needed both.
During Tom's last year of college, we had a business opportunity and a choice to make: postpone his final semester of college to start a business or finish the degree on time and lose the opportunity. We didn't want to regret not taking a chance, so we took the business opportunity. Now that 20 years have passed, the business is long gone and he still has one semester left of college. Part of me feels a little regretful that we didn't let the opportunity wait while he finished that degree.
It's hard to know WHAT you'll regret years from now. Back then, we certainly couldn't see the pain and misery that business would bring us. But we also couldn't see how God used it to break us, humble us, and ultimately strengthen us. We just did the best we could with what we had, and sometimes that brings some regret along with it.
I think I've come to realize that a person who truly lives without any regrets is not the kind of person I want to be. Having no regrets means that you think you did everything right. That every decision you ever made was perfect and that if you had it to do over again, you'd do it exactly the same way.
And who of us can really say that? I regret that I didn't stand up for my daughter, Elle, like I should have when an adult said some horribly untrue things about her. I regret that I didn't write more letters to my grandparents, and that I popped pimples as a teenager.
Having regret is not always a bad thing. Many regrets go far deeper than popping pimples. When we hurt someone, we should regret it. We should regret immoral decisions. We should regret self-destructive behavior. Regret should make us take stock of ourselves and our actions. It should lead us to repentance and then to resolve. Without regret, there is no reason to change.
I'm really glad we've set out to live a life without regrets. It has helped forge the way we parent, the way we work and the things we believe. It helps chart our course through the tricky waters we often navigate. But just as important as purposefully living regret-free lives is, admitting that there will always be some regrets along the way may be just as important.
Acknowledging our regrets makes us vulnerable and imperfect. It makes us admit that we are not always the master of our own destiny, the controller of our universe. Regret helps us admit mistakes. It gives us empathy for others, and a common bond in another's struggles. It keeps us humble, and that's kind of how I think we are supposed to be. We don't have it all figured out.
Maybe that's why we talk about it less these days. We're still just trying to do it.
We could all use some Aretha to get our week going, so turn up the volume and enjoy!
This song makes me think about how important it is to respect what I'm doing today! On Mondays it's tough to get motivated: the house is a wreck from the weekend and the week stretches out before me in its endless weight of tasks. Washing the same clothes, picking up the same socks left by the same people who shall go unnamed, cleaning the same potties and wiping the same noses. Will this never end?? What in the world is all this for??
Well, let me tell you. The minutes and hours you are spending, doing all those things and raising those little ones, you are doing more that just keeping house. You are more than a maid. You are more than a chauffer. You are more than a day-care worker. You're somebody's mom, somebody's friend, and that makes you special.
Think about what you're doing: You are making a home. You are making a life for your family. You are making memories and history and a solid foundation for their lives.
You deserve some RESPECT!
Give yourself some cred! Respect the life you are living. Maybe it's not laced with luxuries or leisurely pursuits. Maybe you are working at a job and then going home to take care of business on the homefront. Maybe you are dealing with a toddler hiding his poo-poos in the corner, or a teenager hiding some bad grades. I don't know what you've got going on, but I know that the girls who read my blog have something really important in common. We share a heart for making a good life for our families, no matter what the circumstances.
Hey! You are a hard-working woman! You've got what it takes! You are a rockin gal! Ain't nobody that can do it better than you! You might be soft on the outside, but on the inside, you are standing tall and taking it to 'em!
Give yourself a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T!
Now, replay the song and lip-sync along with Aretha! C'mon, I'll sing it with you!
On the heels of posting about being a refuge, I've felt so inadequate as a wife this week. I wrote this the other night at a particularly low point....
We women are Fixers.
We are always kissing boo-boos, resolving arguments, combing out tangles, and feeding our hungry little people. We run forgotten lunches up to school, and help glue things onto posterboard for projects that should have been started much sooner than the night before it was due. We know how to smooth over hurt feelings, and sing away bad dreams.
Somehow, over the years I've gone from not knowing how to fix a warm bottle for a crying infant, to knowing how to fix almost any situation.
But there are things, hard things, that I can't fix. There are the plumbing, electrical and mechanical problems that I should never, ever touch. And there are deeper things of the heart that are beyond my capabilities.
Today was one of those days. I couldn't fix my husband's cold. I couldn't fix his exhaustion from trying to do too much with not enough time or money. I couldn't pull the boat out of the pond. I couldn't fix the Explorer when it broke down on him on the side of the road. I couldn't take over his hockey practice for him. There were so many things that went wrong for my man today, and there was a good chance that my actions (or inactions) even played into making it a very, very bad day. I couldn't fix it.
It's so much easier when you can go right on in and make everything better. But we are boot-strapping and money is tight. We can't just whip out the plastic and get new stuff when it breaks. We drive an old car. We live in an old house. Even maintaining what we have sometimes takes more than we are able to give. Just once, I would like Tom to be able to enjoy a weekend (or weekday, for that matter) without something falling apart. I can't fix that, either.
And then there are the matters of the heart. Oh, how I wish I could simply make my man's heart feel better with a wave of a magic wand. But my encouraging words sound hollow, even to my own ears. Maybe the Benadryl/Tylenol/Advil cocktail will help his body lose some of the aches, but what about the ache of discouragement and defeat I know he has? It's so deep tonight, I know I can't fix it.
The only thing I know to do is to pray. It's what I've been doing all day.
God, YOU fix this. Please.
It's when things are beyond my control and when I get to the end of what I can do that I finally reach out to the Creator of the Universe. Surely, He knows what to do. He can pick up broken pieces, mend troubled hearts, and heal wounded bodies. He can provide food in the wilderness and water in the desert. He's good at fixing things, restoring things.
It's what He does best.
Isaiah 51:3 says, "The LORD will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing."
Maybe this is where God wants me today. In the place where things are just beyond my ability to fix. I can make us a nice meal, help with the night time chores and rub some sore shoulders. I can be a listening ear if my man even feels like talking about this awful day. And beyond that, it's out of my hands.
And into His.
On Friday, I posted about the things I was going to do, just for that day. I did pretty well, except that I DID watch TV (well, it was a movie), I only ate half an apple, and I didn't spend ANY time in the Word until about 10 pm. And that was only because I had blogged about reading for 15 minutes.
Sad, but true.
I have to play games with myself in order to get moving in the right direction. I tend to get bogged down and overloaded with all the stuff I have to do, and then I am simply paralyzed and end up doing nothing at all!
I love the "Just for Today" game, because it allows me the freedom to feel that I am not chained to my "shoulds." I should eat better. I should exercise more. I should (fill in the blank). Yeah, I KNOW I should, but for the REST OF MY LIFE? I can't do it, I tell you! The PRESSURE! But for just one day, I think I can.
Another game I play is: "Beat the Clock.". Wow, I can move fast if I think I'm going only going to have to do a dreaded chore for 5 tiny minutes! The timer has been a good, good friend to me over the years. I used it A LOT with my kids, and it still works great for me. It's truly amazing how much you can get done in 5 minutes.
And who could live without the game of "I'll Reward Myself Later?" Hey, no one is going to give you a medal for cleaning toilet bowls, so I firmly believe that rewarding oneself is perfectly justified. Chocolate is always good motivation, but rewarding my own hard work with some "eye-resting" is always my go-to choice.
Then there is the pathetic "I'm a Martyr" game, in which I do my tasks with much sighing and despair. Only I, the overworked and underappreciated mother of this ungrateful lot, am asked to do more than the fair share of work around here.
It sort of feels good to feel this bad.
But this game usually backfires on me because the other participants are all too willing to let me serve slavishly without feeling one bit of remorse! Such nerve. Why I oughta..... ...
Why I OUGHTA play: "Let's All Work Together, And Cheerfully." But see, it's that last clause that gets me in trouble. When I don't see cheerfulness in my subordinates, it makes me mad and then I return to playing "I'm a Martyr." "Let's All Work Together, and I Don't Care What Your Attitude Is" is a much better game, but it requires some organization and follow-through on my part, two things which are severely lacking in my personality. I'm still working on that.
One of my best games is: "Make a List, Then Do Other Things Not on the List." This is a fun one because my rule is that you can add the Other Things to the list (after you do them) and then cross them off. Like you meant to do them in the first place. The beauty of this game is that you get to experience that heady feeling of accomplishment without actually accomplishing anything on your original list.
Clean out fridge
Pay Bills
Wash clothes
Sort through old magazines and read them
Blog
Return Overdue DVD's to Blockbuster
Then there are the games of Pretend. "Pretend I am Getting Paid," and its corollary, "Pretend I am on Nanny-Cam." Honestly. Some days I'd have to fire my own self for doing such a poor job. Pretending I have someone watching me gets me off my butt and into gear. Hey, I'm not getting paid to watch The Price is Right, so start moving.
Today I have a long list of things that need to be done. With such a selection of games to help get me through, it's hard to decide which one to play. I'll probably employ a combination of games, depending on my mood and caffeine level.
So let the games begin!
...I'm going to pursue some badly needed peace.
I'm not taking a life-long stand. I'm not making any big promises to do anything, be anything, or change my lifestyle. I've failed too many times to think I'm going to change my life simply by making an oath.
So just for today, I'm going to turn off the TV. I'm going to turn off the radio in the car. I'm going to find some silence. I think it would be good for me.
And just for today, I will limit my computer/email/blogging time so that I can enjoy the life that is happening just beyond this blue screen.
Since I'm not making any big promises, I think I will eat a piece of fruit today. I've got some apples that have been in my fridge since forever and today seems like a good day to eat one.
After I've eaten my apple, or maybe while I'm eating my apple, I might do a few leg lifts. But just for today. I probably won't do it tomorrow.
And since this is only one day, I'd like to spend a little time reading my Bible. I've tried to make a habit of in-depth reading and of course, failed again. So, for today only, I will read maybe 15 minutes or so. I might even write down a verse that pops out at me.
And while I'm not making any big promises, today would be a good day to go ahead and let God take care of some of that stuff that's been bothering me. I'll let it all go for today and see how I feel about it tomorrow.
I'm not very good at making long-term commitments. It seems like I just simply forget that I've made them until one day I realize I'm still in my same old rut.
But for just one day, I think I can do it. I'm not going to worry about tomorrow's decisions until tomorrow. I'm going to focus on today, and do the best I can with what I've got.
I could use a Company Girl. Wanna join me?
Tell me what you're going to do, just for today. It will be waaaay more fun to do it together!
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