I wish you could meet my man, Tom. He's not shy by any means, but he will avoid standing out in a crowd if at all possible. He hates getting up in front of people, but if you give him a subject he is passionate about, he'll speak with eloquence and wit. He'd be perfectly content to live a quiet life with few interruptions from the outside world.
He and I were talking about our son, Grayson, one day and I remarked how much he is like Tom. "He's a lot like you, except much more outgoing," I said.
"Oh, I'm outgoing all right," Tom replied. "Just not around people."
I'm so glad he cleared that up.
We had a good laugh over that quip, but it made me stop and think about our differences. I definitely have more of a "people" need than he does. Tom and I will celebrate our thirtieth (yes, 30, three-oh) anniversary on June 11, and when I think back over the years that we've lived together, I have to scratch my head sometimes. He's a planner, I like to wing it. While I'm off in la-la land, dreaming up some scheme, he's working away to make something actually happen. I'm the idea person, he's the list maker. I'm the messy one, he is the neatnik. But then, he's more sentimental than I am, so go figure. He's just the type of guy you want on your team, no matter what the objective is.
Today's Small Thing is to appreciate your mate's differences and compliment him on just one of them.
I've heard it said that if two people are exactly alike, one of them is superfluous. I need all those things that can sometimes drive me crazy to save me from my own self.
But truthfully, I don't always communicate my appreciation to him because I don't want him to think his way is better. And it's hard to give a compliment without defending my own self sometimes. Isn't that kinda sad?? That I would withold a pat on the back because of my own insecurities? He deserves better.
After 30 years, I'm still learning and growing. I really want my marriage to be even better in the next 30 years than it has been in the first. The only way that will happen is to accept and appreciate those things that make my man who he is, and then let him know how I feel about him.
Don't fish for a compliment in return or think you ought to get brownie points. Find something he does differently than you and give him some honest appreciation. Your words will be sweet to his ears and will warm his big ol' heart.
Every guy wants that and you're just the girl to do it.