Home Sanctuary

How We Told My Family "The News"

Thank you, THANK YOU for your sweet, encouraging and wonderful comments yesterday!!  I have read and re-read each one, choking back tears and smiling at each.  Oh, how you have blessed me!  I was going to try and reply to each individual, but am still having problems with Typepad's comment feature which makes replying difficult.  Please know how much I appreciate your thoughts and prayers and well-wishes! I hardly know what to say, except "thank you."

If you missed the whole story, you won't want to miss Part I and Part II before you go any further.

I thought you might like to see how we told my side of the family about our Big News! Since we already had a get-together planned on December 27 with everyone, we decided to wait and tell everyone about the baby all at once.  And since each family was invited to perform a skit or song, we thought it might be fun to make our announcement with a skit.  It was a hoot!

Cast members are: (left to right) Me, my husband Tom, Meghan (20), Robert (SIL 23), Lauren (22), and Grayson (14).  The lady with the big surprised look is my mom, and next to her is my dad.

Enjoy!!

(And don't forget to check Today's Small Thing, which is in the next post....scroll down to see it.)

It is a QuickTime movie and should begin playing when you click on the link. Be sure and pause the music in my right sidebar.

Download Christmas Wishes

If the QuickTime movie doesn't work, you can try this one:

Turn in December Points!

I'm going to give us through Friday, January 2, to tally up and turn in points.  Hopefully that will give everyone a little bit more time to enjoy the holidays!

Just a reminder of the prizes:

The Most Points Winner will receive a charming tote bag in the inaugural Company Girl Design.  You can show off your Company Girl status (in a demure way, of course) with this fashionable accessory:

The Random Drawing Winner will receive a coffee mug in the same said design....perfect for sipping the beverage of your choice AND looking quite stylish at the same time.

Today's Small Thing takes TWO steps:

1) Email your point total to me.  If you are simply entering the random drawing, no points are necessary, you just have to have participated at least once during the month.

2) Leave a comment, letting us know what you've enjoyed about the Small Things or what you enjoy about being a Company Girl.  It's a very sly and sneaky way of convincing the readers who are sitting on the fence to go ahead and jump in and participate!  You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain!

We've had almost 50 new Company Girls join in this month!  If you're new and haven't received an email from me to welcome you yet, I hope to get to everyone in the next couple of days.  

I will be "off" tomorrow, but back on Friday to start 2009's Small Things!  It's going to be a great year!

God is Still Writing My Story, Part II

Part I of this post can be found here.  You really should read it first....

November and December blew in with the force of a Canadian jet stream.  But when you are living out a story that's being written, you often don't realize when a new chapter blows in.  You're just living your life, doing the best you can, and then - Wham!  You turn the page and discover you're not in the old chapter anymore.  That's just what happened to us.

See, November was a tough month. In the middle of scrambling to fight the plummeting economy's effect on our business, we lost a friend to two strokes and then a heart attack that ended a two week battle for his life.  His passing hit Tom especially hard, since he was a fellow coach on the hockey team and a father of a teenage son, and daughter in her twenties.  It was an unexpected blow to his family and friends, and is still so hard to believe.

On the heels of the funeral, an explosive situation in the middle of a hockey game resulted in a huge drama on the team and major stress in dealing with parents and officials. It was just the kind of thing to bring on what happened next.

Out of the blue, Tom experienced an incident that scared him.  The symptoms were classic stroke symptoms that sent him to the doctor for an MRI and MRA.  It was difficult to wait for the results, and just after our friend's passing, it was hard not imagine the worst.  Thankfully, the results came back extremely good: he is in very good shape and has healthy veins and arteries. There had been no stroke. We breathed a thankful prayer and high-fived each other on the way home.  Woo-hoo!  What a relief!

Things were marching toward Christmas, but there was a tiny detail that was really starting to bother me.  That tiny detail prompted me to dash into my local CVS pharmacy to purchase something I hadn't had to buy in a really long while.  I picked up a home pregnancy test, so I could eliminate the niggling little worry from my mind.  When I got home, I raced to the bathroom.

Oh man.  Hoo boy.

My knees went weak, and I had to hold my head in my hands to be able to compare the pamphlet's pictures to the kit on the counter.  Everything was swimming. Two blue lines?

Lord Almighty!  I. am. pregnant.

Girls, I am expecting a baby!

Go ahead, rub your eyes. You read that correctly.  Pick yourself up off the floor. I still can't believe I'm writing this.

I already know that some of you are doing the math: "5 years ago she was turning 40 and now she must be.....45?????"

Yep.

Ladies, this is what can happen when you are still crazy about the man you married 25 years ago, and the two of you still act like you are um, 30.

Now, back to the scene in the bathroom with the kit.  I immediately called my sister Katherine, hysterical.  Happiness was nowhere in sight.

"How am I ever going to tell Tom?  What kind of freak of nature are we going to be?  I'm 45 freaking years old! We're going to be a freak show!"  I believe I used the word "freak" many times.

Fortunately, she talked me down from the ledge and told me it was going to be ok.   She said this is going to be wonderful.  She said God knows what He is doing.  She said, "Rachel, you can do this." Pretty good advice from someone who was in an aisle at WalMart at the time.

It took me another full day to work up the nerve to tell my husband. But when I asked for his hand across the table at a local restaurant and asked if he loved me, followed by, "Honey, guess what?"  he looked straight into my eyes and said, "You're pregnant."  

I immediately welled up and said, "Yes." 

"Wow."  He smiled.  "This is going to be good."  But later, in the sporting goods section at WalMart, where we were hopelessly trying to do some Christmas shopping, he confided, "I keep thinking I'm going to faint. My legs are wobbling."

And since we are HORRIBLE at keeping secrets, we had to tell our children that very day. 

Those would be our children, who are 22 (married to a 23 year old), 20, and almost 15.  Wouldn't you have LOVED to be in on THAT family meeting?

They were astonished but excited for us, and what this means for our family.

It has been quite a Christmas.  We are bemused, bewildered. befuddled and have become utterly entranced at the idea of having a baby again.  We did not plan it and could not have imagined a more ridiculous twist in our story, but here we are.  Oh, Lord, here we ARE!

We've got a new baby coming.  And I am scared and excited and worried and overwhelmed with joy all at the same time.

What kind of irony is it that when my friend asked me if I was "kind of 'over' the whole baby thing," I was already pregnant??  I'm still shaking my head over that.  It's as if God knew it would make a great first line in a new chapter. 

Silly me. I had simply thought it was the last line in the old chapter.  

But God is the one writing this story, isn't he?

Would you please pray for a safe and healthy pregnancy, and a healthy baby?  I scared myself silly, googling "pregnant after 45" and seeing what the risks are, so I have banned myself from the medical websites.  We are believing God for a miraculous end to this implausible chapter, and are thanking him for another little person to enjoy.  It would mean so much to me to have my Company Girl friends along to travel this road with me. 

I could use some hand-holding.

Get Organized for a Better Year!

You know, creating a wonderful sanctuary for your family is not all about cleaning.  That's really great news for those of us for whom cleaning is just not our "thang."

But it's surprising how much having a clean and tidy home affects your general sense of Sanctuary.  When things look nice, there is a feeling of calm that happens.  It's something we all need.

I've found that the very first thing to do, in order to help me stay on top of things, is to have my housekeeping supplies stocked and handy.  Because when I get the bright idea to wash my windows, I need to be able to find what I need to do it immediately, or I lose steam and put it off for another day (week, month....).

Today's Small Thing is to take stock of your supplies.  Here's what we did last year:

I suggest keeping these supplies where you actually use them: under sinks (child-proofed, of course) or at the very least on each floor of the house or each end of the house.

Get these at a discount store to put in a caddy per bathroom (or floor level):

"Small Things" Supplies

Glass Cleaner
Surface Cleaner
Abrasive cleaner
Paper Towels
Sponges
Trash bags
Dust cloth/spray
Wisk broom/dust pan
Rubber gloves
Potty  scrub-brush

Optional: Pop-up wipes (love these)

General cleaning supplies to have:

Floor cleaner
Vinegar
Disinfectant spray
Tools: brooms, mop, vacuum
Trash bags

Starting fresh with the tools you need will give you power to spend time on the things you really WANT to do, instead of feeling victimized by all the housework.

Remember, Sanctuary in the Small Things is not just about cleaning, but it's about caring for your home and the people who live in it.   It's part of showing love AND helping your family members belong to the process of homemaking.  I'm all over that.

POINTS: 40 for taking stock of what you have and start getting everything together!

My Ebenezer

 

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Jeshanah, and named it Ebenezer; for he said, "Thus far the LORD has helped us."  I Samuel 7:12

This time of year is always filled with top 10 lists of famous people, montages of events that occurred, and a reflection of the year that is about to go into the history books.  I always enjoy watching the television specials and am always amazed at how quickly I've forgotten events and people within such a short period of time.

And as I start setting some goals and my perennial resolutions, I like to look back over the events in my own life to see how God has worked.  Remembering his faithfulness gives me great hope for the future.

Samuel's stone was a tangible reminder of the Lord's help in time of need.  He had come to the aid of his people to defeat their enemies and bring peace to the land.  It was placed there so that people would see it and remember how God had worked in a mighty way.

Today's Small Thing is to raise your own Ebenezer, or "stone of remembrance."  Take a few moments to reflect on this past year and see how God has been faithful in your life.  How has he helped you?  How has he come to your aid?  How have you grown?

Then, create your Ebenezer by making a tangible reminder.  You could write a few sentences in a journal, on the computer, or on a piece of paper.  You could create a scrapbook page, piece of artwork or something visual that would spark your memory.  You could even find a stone and mark it with the year for your Ebenezer.

Remembering God's help and goodness is the perfect way to end the year, and the best way to begin a new one.  It puts our focus on the One who has been faithful to bring us to this point, and who WILL be faithful to lead us from here.

POINTS: 50 for making a tangible reminder, or Ebenezer 

We'd love to read your comments!  Feel free to share how God has helped you this year!

PS. I'll post the next "Chapter" in my story tomorrow.

Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing - Robert Robinson, 1757

Come Thou Fount of every blessing

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of God's unchanging love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I'm come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

God is Still Writing My Story

If certain years were given chapter titles, I would call my 2003 "The Year of Tears."

Why am I telling you about 2003 when it is almost 2009?  Because everything that happened that year has everything to do with what will happen this year.  Let me explain:

2003 was going to be one of those milestone years. 

I was turning 40.  And I just knew that somehow there were some good changes ahead.  I was so ready for good things to happen. My children were older: 9, 14 and 16.  We'd been working hard in our business and I was tired.  I'd loved the "stay at home" years but was willingly juggling a new career to help keep our family afloat financially, and I was looking for a different avenue to magically appear.

The first tears fell when my sister called to tell me that she was expecting her 5th baby.  I couldn't understand why I got so emotional over the news, except that I suddenly realized that those "baby" days were over for me.  I didn't expect to grieve it, but it felt like something had just... slipped away.  In the midst of working and raising kids and living, too many years had gone by to think about more children and it made me wistful for those wonder years.

But no wonder why I was so emotional:  You see, I didn't know it right then, but I was pregnant, too.

The next tears came when I took my third home pregnancy test because I didn't believe the positive results of the first two.  OK, yeah.  I'd been sad about not getting to have any more babies, but not nearly as sad as I was to find out that I would be 40 and having one, 10 years after my youngest child. My husband and I sat in stunned silence that first afternoon and then went to Applebees and talked through our tears.  This isn't what we planned.  This isn't what we wanted.  We certainly could not afford it. We were going to look like grandparents instead of parents. What would people think? My horror was complete.

But in the midst of my worry, I felt the words "this child will be my delight," just drop into my heart as I drove one day.  The fog started lifting.

As we settled into the idea of having a "caboose" baby, we started to embrace it.  It really didn't take long to start getting excited.  I was due within days of my sister AND my sister-in-law!  Three babies were coming at the same time!  We surprised my mother with three phone calls on Mother's Day, each of us telling her our news.  It was incredibly fun.

I'll never forget trying on maternity clothes with my teenage daughters helping me pull things over my head in a tiny dressing room.  We laughed at the absurdity and I closed my eyes to capture the wonder of a new baby and the beauty of my almost grown girls.  Heavenly.

But everything changed in an instant when, on a spur of the moment trip to Blockbuster with my son, we were hit in a head-on collision by a distracted driver.  The car was totaled, but other than bumps and bruises, we felt fortunate to walk away.  A quick trip to my midwife to hear the baby's heartbeat reassured us that the baby was fine.  I fell more and more in love with this baby and could hardly believe the blessing we were going to have.

I was so excited about the next appointment with my midwife!  It was scheduled several weeks after the accident, and I brought Grayson and Lauren along so that they would be able to hear the baby's heartbeat.

As the midwife moved the Doppler around my abdomen, she said maybe the placenta was in the way because she could not pick up the heartbeat.  I felt my own heart start beating faster, but she seemed so calm as she sent me to the Doctor's office nearby to get a sonogram, that it MUST be alright.  Please, be alright. Please, God.

We waited forever in that waiting room.  I mentally denied that anything could be wrong, but my daughter called my husband and told him to come and meet us.

Finally, I was led to the exam room and the sonogram confirmed my worst fear. I will always remember seeing the lifeless little form on that dark screen. Tears fell like torrents from both my husband and I as we clung to each other. The baby had died weeks earlier from an abruption of the placenta as a result the accident, and we hadn't known it. It must have died right after my visit to the midwife.

I won't describe the awfulness of going through an induced labor, when you know that at the end of all the pain there will be no baby to hold. Or the despair of having your milk come in when there is no infant to nurse. The sorrow is more than a person can take.  I wanted to wake up and have it all be over, but I had to live through each of those days with a giant weight on my heart.

We had a little boy, Collin Joseph, on August 8. There was a funeral in the rain and a very tiny box that was put into the ground.  And more tears.

The approaching holidays put new dread into my heart.  The thought of seeing my sister and sister-in-law, with their billowing stomachs made us decide to not join our family for Thanksgiving or Christmas.  It would be too awkward for them AND us. Somehow we made it through the holidays and the births of their beautiful little ones.

And this is the part that has always made it hard for me to share this story, because it is so easy to sound trite.  It is tempting to package it up and wrap it all up with a tidy bow, even though the healing has been anything but tidy. I know that God was there for us, and He comforted us in unexpected and wonderful ways. But there was also deep, deep sorrow.  Tears that would come at the oddest moments. Anger and despair. Questioning and loneliness.  Trying to understand why something so wonderful could appear so unexpectedly...and then be taken so suddenly.  Pangs over what we missed and simultaneous relief that our parenting journey was nearing an end.

I wish I could say that our faith soared in the midst of it all.  Instead, I can only say that we experienced God's grace in sorrow, and His strength in weakness.  We experienced what it was like to know that our friends and family shed tears with us. We knew the "right" answers about all things working together for good, and we did our best to focus on our blessings.  But my demands for answers came back empty.  It was as if the Lord said, "why do you NEED to know why?  Will it make any difference? You'll have to trust me just the same."  Strangely, I found comfort in that.

The years have gone by.  Our nieces are now 5 years old.  Our two oldest children have gone off to college and one is married.  Our son is in high school.  Time does have a way of healing.  Perhaps the "delight" I thought would be for me is bringing delight to my Father in heaven.  Though long in coming, I cherish the thought.

A friend asked me the other day if I still wished I would have another baby or if I was kind of "over" the whole baby thing.  I was watching her struggle to put a car seat in her car and lug all the baby gear around.

A million things flashed through my mind as I thought for a second and said, "No, I think I'm pretty much over it."  It felt good to say it and finally mean it.

But that brings me to another chapter.

Company Girl Coffee 12.19

Thank you so much for your kind sympathy over my driver's license fiasco!  I did manage to get the car rented, get ahold of my son (who still wanted to be picked up, even though it was late), swing through Whataburger, drop him off at home, run my errand, come home, and then throw the hockey gear in the car and drive an hour and a half to a game in Dallas.  I was pooped.

And, yes, I did have a good laugh over my afternoon adventure.  And it's nice to know I'm not the only one that stuff like this happens to. 

Now, before we get to our coffee, I would like to mention a couple of things:

1) There is no "actual" Small Thing for today, due to even more adventures around here yesterday.  I'll fill you in on that later, but just feel free to find your own Small Thing to do that helps create sanctuary in your home today.  Choose from the hundreds of things you are already doing and give yourself 40 points for deliberately making something good happen!  Large or small, each activity you do is important and makes a difference.  I believe that with all my heart.

2) I will be taking next week "off" from posting daily Small Things.  I may throw a post or two out there, but I will pick up with the Small Things on December 29.  Enjoy your week with your families!

3)  I am really, really, really excited about next year!  I am working on some fun things for us to do together, and am also planning on introducing some changes that will help us get more organized and let us interact even more with each other!  If you have not yet "joined" the Company Girls, I hope you will do it before the new year starts so you won't miss anything!  Send me an email today!

Now, let's get this coffee party started!  I'm a social drinker....coffee, hot cocoa, tea, party punch......I love it all! So throw open your doors and invite us over for the beverage of your choice and a chance to visit! Grab the Coffee Logo in my left sidebar by cutting and pasting the code, put it into your post, and then link up!  It's a great way to meet other Company Girls and it's lots of fun!

!-- beginning of export. owner: rachelanne, postid: 19Dec2008 -->

Company Girls Coffee Participants

1. Amanda 2. Luanne 3. Dani 4. Cheryl 5. Michelle@PrincessatHeart 6. Samantha

7. Cindy @ la casa de chen 8. Kerri@Latte\'Buddies! 9. Marie 10. Gayla Bursiaga 11. carol 12. Joyce

13. Michelle Craft 14. Erin @ Finding the Funny 15. Melissa 16. Camille 17. Forgetfulone 18. Donna Scott

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A Moment Captured....

Quick story:

Yesterday's Small Thing was to capture a moment of real life.  Well, my real moment got captured alright, but not how I had hoped it would be.

My husband dropped me off at a car rental office to pick up a car for the next couple of days. Normally, he would wait to make sure I got it before driving off, but he had several errands to run and I assured him that I had it under control.  I stepped to the counter and went through the usual procedure.

"OK, just need to see your license and credit card," the man at the counter said.  I whipped them out and checked my watch.  I was to pick my son up at school in 15 minutes and had just enough time to get there, drop him off at home, run another errand and then leave for a hockey game.  This was going well.

"Uh, ma'am, your license has expired and is no longer valid," Mr. Avis Guy said and pushed it back toward me.  "I can't rent the car to you without a valid license."

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.  But no, it had expired last month and I've been driving illegally for several weeks.

By this time, Tom was long gone, and there was no way to call him to have him return with HIS license, because he lost his phone a week ago.

"There's a DPS office in the next block," the guy said helpfully.  "You could go renew it and come back." I immediately envisioned the DPS office, a dimly lit room with orange plastic chairs and a hundred people waiting for their number to be called.  I've been there before and remember it well.

I was stuck. I could see no other choice but to do as he suggested.  So I walked through the drizzle to the DPS office, hoping it wouldn't take forever.  

Have I ever mentioned what drizzle does to my hair?  Well, it gets frizzy AND flat at the same time. Did I also mention that I was wearing a stained sweatshirt?  I'm quite sure I was not wearing lipstick.  And I knew, as I hurried along through the wind and dripping rain, that I would be stepping behind a line and looking into a camera, operated by someone who could care less about capturing the essence of who I am.

I got up to the DPS counter with no wait time.  I guessed on only a few of the numbers in the vision screening and fudged just a teeny tiny bit on my weight. I'm certain that those few pounds will be gone right after I start my exercise program, so really, I was just speaking in faith. But before I could do a happy dance at my speedy progress, things came to a halt when the lady refused to take my debit card.  "Checks or cash only, Hon," she drawled.  "You could go around the corner to the grocery store and buy yerself a soda, get cash back and come on back here." She was also quite helpful.

So I trudged through the drizzle as she suggested, and returned with the appropriate cash.  I was madly texting my son to tell him to take the bus.  And despite her machine breaking down in the middle of the whole thing, I managed to step behind the line and smile like a drowned rat for the photo I'll be carrying around for the next six years.

I can hardly wait to see my moment of real life captured on my license when it comes in the mail.

Christmas Candles

My house is decorated simply this year.  I have not tucked greenery into every nook and cranny, or hung ornaments all over the place.  I've skipped the outside lights, even though I love them.  We've had so much going on that I just drew a line and said, "enough."  Next year, I may feel liket goobering up every available surface with Christmas stuff, but for now....this feels good to me.

But one thing I have set out here and there is Christmas candles.  Some of them are ones that are out all year long, but rearranged with greenery or circled by poinsettia blooms (fake ones, of course.)  It looks lovely.

And those candles will look even lovelier after today's Small Thing, which is to actually light them. I'm not sure if I've been waiting for Santa to show up before I strike a match, but how silly is it to have them set out and then never light them?  This morning, I lit one near the kitchen and it made me smile instantly.  Why did I wait so long to enjoy its warm glow?

You don't have to have "special" candles to enjoy this small thing.  If you've got a wax stump with a wick, fire it up and live a little.  Grab a couple small Christmas balls to place around it and you've got yourself a festive, decadent treat.  Who knew that something so small could make such a statement!

POINTS: 40 for enjoying one lit candle sometime today

BONUS POINTS: 10 for each additional candle you light.......so dig in those drawers, girls!  Here's a chance to pick up some unlimited points!!  

Merry Christmas!

Capture a Moment

Being silly in front of the tree last year...

Our family photo collection has inordinate amounts of Christmas pictures in it. Kids in front of the tree, kids opening presents, group shots in front of the tree, presents under the tree...all of us in our Christmas Eve best or our Christmas morning robes.

I love these photos.  Because they are taken at the same time of year, in the same location, you can really see how our family has grown and changed through the years.  From babies propped on pillows, to the missing teeth years, the gawky adolescent stages and the "taller than Mom" photos, they tell the story of the people who have lived and loved each other from Christmas to Christmas.  I can't help but get sentimental.

But those photos really only tell part of the story.  The "real" part of the story is in everything leading up to and following the Big Day.  The scramble for gifts and the jumble of wrapping paper, a kitchen covered in flour and the mess that happens when Mom is scurrying about, is all part and parcel of what makes this time of year special.  It's the time when we forget to take out the camera to capture "real life" because we are anticipating the beautiful moments when we will all look picture-perfect on one special day.

We forget to capture the beauty in the mayhem because maybe we are too distracted to see it.

Today's Small Thing is to capture a "real life" Christmas moment....not a starched, pressed and posed moment in front of the tree, but what is happening all around you today.  I've realized that I want to remember things like sitting with my kids on the couch when I should be industriously working on something, or my daughters perched on the counter while dinner is cooking, and even the messy wrapping paper on my bed.  I want to remember the jigsaw puzzles and games of Scrabble and watching movies in the back room. We have so few photos of that stuff, and yet for me, those are the things that make life good.

I don't want to forget them.

POINTS: 40 for capturing a moment in a photo.  If you can't take a picture, journal about it, blog or video what your life is like.......even the mess and chaos will find its way into your heart one day.

Link to your blog if you post something!