Home Sanctuary

Get Control of Your Schedule, Or, Getcha Some Backbone, Girl

Disclaimer:  Today's Small Thing will require more than just a few minutes of thought.  You will need a calendar, a red pen and and a steely determination to set boundaries in your schedule that will give you freedom to create "Sanctuary" in your home.  And you get all weekend to work on it!

This is the time of year when every organization gets geared up to recruit volunteers.  And EVERYONE needs help. We need Sunday School teachers, room mothers, carpool drivers, committee members, coaches, leaders, helpers, you name it.  If you are a parent, your kids will be asked to be involved in sports, youth groups, AWANA, scouting, Community Problem Solvers, clubs, Honor Society and play groups. Throw into the mix weekly Bible Study, Home Groups, Choir, neighborhood watch groups and co-ops and is it any wonder that our homes resemble way-stations rather than peaceful shelters?

We don't mean to get over committed. We always have good intentions.  We want the best for our kids and our families, but there are just too many opportunities out there to fit into a reasonable schedule. Today we are going to take a look at those opportunities and make some decisions ahead of time so that we won't get suckered into being on a committee that will eat up time we don't have.

This works best if you can sit down with your spouse and work on it together, but you can do this by yourself up to a certain point.  

Backbone Principles:

1.  Don't ever volunteer for anything on the spot.  Practice the words, "Let me talk to my husband first and I'll get back to you."  Or "Let me think and pray about it first."  Often you know the moment you walk away that you should not sign up.  That's the Holy Spirit, honey.

2.  Talk to your spouse about each activity before committing.  At times I've been really mad at my man when he hasn't agreed to something I wanted to do, but honoring him and our family has always been the right choice.

3.  Get a grip on reality. Plug in every commitment you already have (work, church, school, sports) and be amazed at how little time is actually left to take care of necessities like grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, homework.  These activities must be done and they do take time so don't discount them by filling every moment with outside stuff.  These are the things that create sanctuary for your family and they are important.  Decide when you will do them.

4.  Leave time for boredom.  People often remark about how creative our children are and we always tell them that we left time for creativity to happen.  When every moment of every day is filled, children don't have time to dream, color, make forts and do things with string.   That's a shame.  We really do our children a disservice when we orchestrate too many activities and forget to let them be kids.  Boredom is good for them.

5.  Set a limit on how many activities each child (and each parent) can do.  Help your children understand that it's better to do one or two things well than many things poorly.  This is an important life lesson.

I see I am getting lengthy again, but this is something we are passionate about as a family.  You may feel very hard-hearted and un-Christian to turn away from volunteering for the homeless shelter or being a Sunday School teacher, but remember that you are not called to fill every need that presents itself to you.  Your calling is FIRST AND FOREMOST to your husband and children.  Your aim should be to create a home that reflects Peace, Order and Beauty....one that glorifies God the moment you walk in the door.  That will only happen when we start getting control of our schedules and deliberately choosing which things to let in.

POINTS: 100....for carving out Sanctuary in your schedule...and you get all weekend to work on it!  Your calendar doesn't have to be perfect, just deliberate.  This might be a great time to try working in a Household Schedule  (or this one) or a Chore Chart.

Share your tips!  Let us know how your family handles schedule management!

Good For You

Well, I've finally followed my mother's advice and cut out the soft drinks from my diet.  I've fallen off the wagon a few times, just because Pepsi tastes so good, or at least I thought it would taste so good.  Now that I've been off soda for several weeks, it just kinda tastes syruppy.   It's really not as great as I thought it was for the past 20 years.

Sacre bleu!  I've been a fool.

Today's Small Thing is to do something that's good for you.  When you think about it, with all that is required us daily, maintaining a healthy body shouldn't just be a fantasy, it's a necessity.  I am among the world's WORST when it comes to taking vitamins and exercising regularly, but I notice a very real difference when I take just a few moments to do what I know I should do for myself.

• When I drink enough water.

• When I take those Omega-3 tablets.

• When I take my multi-vitamin.

• When I don't order fries.

• When I don't drown my salad in ranch dressing.

• When I exercise, even for a few minutes.

• When I walk to the mailbox, instead of drive to it.

• When I do my Kegals.

I tend to be an "all-or-nothing" kind of gal, and when it comes to taking care of myself, that usually means that I'm doing "nothing."  I'd like to change that to be an "all-or-something" girl so that I'm making incremental steps in the right direction, instead of being stuck at zero.  Life is tough, even under the best of circumstances, and I need all the reserves I can call on to deal with what gets thrown at me daily.  Basically, I need energy.

For many of you Company Girls, you'll have already earned your points today, especially since I'm posting so late in the day.  Maybe you've already taken a vitamin and you're sitting at the computer screen, doing your Kegal crunchies right now.   Woo Hoo!  For the rest of us, all we need to do is get up and walk to the kitchen and swallow a nice little pill that's good for us. 

POINTS: 40 (HUH?  Rach, why so many?) for doing something, anything, that's good for you today.  Be conscious of being healthy today by doing just one small thing, and you probably already know what you should do.  Easy.

(And don't beat yourself up over the fries you ate at lunch.)

Feel like Dancin'? Me, Too!

I've been out of town the past couple of days, (trying to stick my own landing with the west Texas project...finally finished!).  My husband was in the car with his foot on the gas pedal yesterday morning as I hurried to hit "publish," hence there was no theme song to go with the "Stick it" post.  Darn!

This morning we are leaving for Dallas at an early hour, after crawling into bed at 12:30 am.  So I hope you won't mind if I reprise a Small Thing from January today.  You might want to break out your platform shoes and do some disco dancing on your kitchen floor!

There's nothing worse than walking barefoot in the kitchen and feeling the crunch of crumbs beneath your feet. Plus, a dirty floor just doesn't make you feel like disco dancing!

Today's Small Thing is just to sweep up the kitchen floor. You could run a mop over it and it would take you only about 10 more minutes, but then that would be TWO small things in one day. You don't need to overdo.

Even if you do decide to get ambitious and add mopping today, save some energy for a little boogie fever and get someone to dance with you on your nice, clean floor!

POINTS: 30 for sweeping the dance floor

BONUS POINTS: 30 more for mopping to a nice shine (better for reflecting the disco ball)

Stick Your Landing

I love watching the gymnastics competitions in the Olympics!  Wow, those athletes are amazing.  I have to hold my breath through each routine, because no matter how perfect it may be, there is always the possibility that they might miss the landing and lose their chance to medal.

We can learn a lot from those elite athletes.  Their dedication and sacrifice, their focus and their inner strength are to be admired.  But the thing I like most is their ability to follow through to the end.  You see it in runners, swimmers, gymnasts, cyclists....that last stretch of any race is the most important of all.  It's where the competition is won or lost.

When I think about my day, I think of all the things that stretch my abilities and inner strength.  Having patience with children, having patience with children and having patience with children being just three. But there are the tasks that I do each day that I really get sick of that test my metal.  I find that I'm pretty good at doing 90% of each job and then sort of waning at the end.

I wash, dry, fold and put away all but one basket of clothes.

I do up all the dishes and then leave the pots and pans to "soak."

I sweep the floor and leave crumbs in a pile at the base of the broom in a corner, rather than scoop them up into the trash.

I empty the trash and then leave the bag by the door for "somebody" to take to the can outside.

I vacuum and then don't wind the cord up neatly on the handle.

In other words, I don't stick my landings.

Today's Small Thing is to stick your landings.  Take a look at your tasks today and try and finish them off 100%.  OK, realistically you won't be able to do ALL the tasks 100%  (like paint the entire house AND weed the entire garden), but having a mindset that finishes well can make all the difference in the world.

POINTS:  40 for seeing at least one task through to the end today: dishes, laundry, trash, vacuuming....you choose!  Pretend you are an athlete reaching for the finish line.  Sweet Victory!

Let us know:  what landing will you stick today?  It can be small, but it will be enough for a spot on the winner's podium!

Back to Basics

On my first Ladies' Retreat ever, I had left my 2 year old and a baby I was weaning from the breast that very weekend at home with my man.  I was thrilled to be away and besides, I thought as long as I would be away from the baby for 48 hours, why not completely pull the plug? Other than the fact that I was about to EXPLODE all weekend, there is one other thing that stands out in my mind from that inaugural retreat.

It was that I had nothing to say about myself.

When we broke up into small groups and went around the circle to introduce ourselves to the others, I was completely blank.  Is this what happens when you spend two years at home with babies?  No hobbies, no interests, no great "former job" to discuss.  I listened to the other women describe their interesting lives and felt like a dud.  What could I possibly say that would be interesting beyond diapers and my sopping nursing pads?

When my turn came, I stammered out the only thing I could think of:

"My name is Rachel Anne Ridge and I make my bed every day."

How LAME is that?

You see, my life was in the throws of baby-ness and I didn't have a whole lot of order going on.  But the one thing I clung to was getting that bed made up every morning.  Somehow, just seeing it all straightened made me feel just a little bit better about everything else.

I still feel that way about my bed. And even though I got some good war-stories under my belt that could entertain a small group these days, I wonder if that silly answer wasn't the thing that launched me into finding Small Things each day.  You've got to have measurable victories along the way, even if they are tiny.

Today's Small Thing is to simply make your bed.   Now before you roll your eyes and sigh condescendingly at my facile prompt today, you might want to take lil' gander at your own bed and see if you actually did it.  

Uh huh.  Thought so.

The basics of Home Sanctuary are Peace, Order and Beauty.  Why not start with an orderly bed today? This should become a habit that gets you on the road toward success each day.

POINTS: 30 for something so ridiculously easy!

BONUS: 10 per bed that is made in your house today...get your kids to help you earn points!

Let the Games Begin

I thought for a minute there that I was, indeed, brilliant.

Hey, how about a fun Small Thing for Friday?  I thought.  

I know!  I'll suggest playing some sort of game, ANY game and offer some great points!  Yes.  YES, and then I'll have some kind of "game show" music!  Hmmm.  I already used the "Price is Right" theme this week.  "Jeopardy?"  No, not quite right.

By George, I've got the perfect game song!  The Olympic Theme!

I'm BRILLIANT!  It's so original, I don't even know how it popped into my mind!

And it was just then that a commercial for the 2008 Olympics came on  TV and I realized that the ENTIRE WORLD is thinking about games and humming the Olympic Theme.

Rats!  I guess I'm just a copycat wannabe without any originality whatsoever.

But be that as it may, why not get into the spirit of global harmony and the celebration of sport by playing some games of our own?  Yeah, we might wanna skip wearing the leotards and speedos for this one, but we can still score a perfect 10 by having some fun.

Today's Small Thing is to enjoy a game.  Or, enjoy The Games.  

Watching the opening ceremonies is always a special event, I think you oughta get some points for it. They are long, after all.  But colorful and exciting!  If you can, watch them with friends or family, and that way you can comment on all the countries' outfits from Albania to Zimbabwe.

Or, if you're not into watching the Olympic spectacle, you can earn your points by playing some kind of game today.  From Candy Land to Monopoly, Rock/Paper/Scissors to 20 Questions, there is a game for every mood and every group.  "What's Your Favorite?" is always an easy hit with the kids, and husbands like that one, too.  But later.

POINTS: 50 for enjoying a game (or The Games) today.  Wow!  No Cleaning?  Nope, just have fun.

Life, Interrupted

Visit me at Writer, Interrupted today!  I've posted some thoughts about

Oops, excuse me, I've got to take this call.



I've posted some thoughts about

Now someone's at the door.

I've posted some thoughts about

OK, now someone's hurt.

I can't remember what I posted about, so just hop over there to find out.

On the Chopping Block

If you are a new Company Girl, you might just get the idea that we hardly do any work around here.

And you'd be right.

I leave the grunt work to the FlyLady, while focusing on the activities that can make life seem just a little bit sweeter.  Sometimes organizing does the trick, sometimes it's doing something fun with your family, and sometimes it's just paying attention to the small things that get overlooked.

Today, it's fighting the germs on your cutting boards.

Yeah, yeah.  We all know we're SUPPOSED to clean our cutting boards thoroughly enough to do surgery on them, but do we actually do it?  Cough, cough.

Cutting boards, especially the plastic ones, are germ catchers.  You should have one for veggies and another one for meat so that you don't spread those germs, but sometimes I forget which is which. Plastic ones can be put into the dishwasher and that should be enough to kill the germs, but it's still a good idea to scrub them under hot, sudsy water first.

There are several things that will kill cutting board bacteria.  The first is that Wonder Agent, vinegar, which can be wiped on full strength.  The smell will remind you of Easter (dyeing eggs) but that's ok, it's for a good cause.  You can also use 3% hydrogen peroxide, diluted with water, or a bleach solution (1 tsp. to 1 quart of water).  

Here's a great link that will tell you everything you ever wanted to know about cutting boards:

http://whatscookingamerica.net/CuttingBoards/AllAbout.htm

POINTS: 40 for sanitizing your cutting boards and chopping blocks

Now you can EAT WITH CONFIDENCE!

Wallflowers

Last week, I repainted my bedroom.  Aren't you just dying to see photos?  I was hoping to get new bedding before an official "reveal" but since my shopping trips were unfruitful I may have to just post "Before" and "During" photos.  Who would think it would be so hard to find an ivory matelasse coverlet (king size) with white bedskirt and shams for under $100.00?  Being a cheapskate makes things so difficult.

I took a hard look at the furnishings and decor in my room.  Ugh.  It seems the only thing consistent about the whole lot of it is that it's all outdated and tired looking.  Everything on the walls smacked of the 1990's and now that we are almost through the 00's, it was a little like a time-warp in there.

Today's Small Thing is to go out and buy all new stuff for your house.

KIDDING!!!

Today's Small Thing is really about paying attention to what you already have.  I noticed, as I replaced those botanical prints in their lovely gilded frames back on the wall, that there was a thick layer of dust on the frames.  "Well", I said to myself, "at least the other frames in here are clean!"

I wiped that smug look off my face as soon as I realized that there was matching dust on everything that had hung on my walls!  I guess when you stop noticing how unfashionable your decor is, you also stop noticing how dusty it gets.

Today's Small Thing is to dust the things hanging on your walls.  Now, you don't have to do your ENTIRE house, even though it would only take about 15 minutes TOPS, but you can focus on one room to get your points.  For you girls who requested something easy today, it doesn't get any easier than this!

A feather duster or one of those fluffy things on a stick works really well to quickly run along the edges.  And, even if your wall decor is sadly in need of being replaced by more fashionable art, you'll still appreciate the feeling that such attention to detail brings.  So this is how Martha Stewart feels!

Nice.

POINTS:  30 for sprucing up the wallflowers in one room.

BONUS: 10 for each additional room, no limit!

Nameless Worker

I didn't learn his name until the last night of our long graphics installation in west Texas..  He was an older man with a slight build, who spoke no English.  He worked 12-18 hours a day for the construction crew at the Big Spring church and slept on a bare mattress in the hot gymnasium at night.  He helped us on occasion and we shared our water and some chocolates with him, and Tom and I marveled at his stamina.  I speak just enough Spanish to communicate the barest concepts, but often we would just have to shrug at each other and shake our heads when we couldn't bridge the language barrier.  By the end of our job, he would sit with us while we worked...offering to hold a light or carry a ladder or point out something we'd missed.  He had earned our respect, even though we suspected that he was an illegal worker.

But I never asked his name.  I just called him "Amigo."

The night before he was to leave by bus for another job, we got into a conversation of sorts.  Tom would ask a question, I would translate as best I could and then Amigo would answer in his Spanish dialect, which we learned came from his home country of Honduras.  We learned that he had risked everything to come here to work..a father of five and a grandfather of 26. 

When I finally asked his name, he gave me a look I will not easily forget.  It was with a mixture of pride and humble joy that he told us.

"Santos."  He tapped his chest gently, as if to say, "That's me."

The utterance of that single word changed everything. We'd been comfortable not knowing his name up to now because of how we feel about illegal aliens.  Treat them kindly but kick 'em out. But suddenly, Amigo stepped from the anonymity of an undocumented worker to being known by his real name, Santos. And you could tell how much it meant to him for us to know him by name. He somehow didn't seem like one of the millions of nameless, faceless workers that live and work here just under the radar of the law.  Immediately he was a real person: a man with hopes and dreams and sorrows and feelings.  We felt ashamed that we had worked alongside Santos for almost three weeks before we'd bothered to find out who he really was.

The next morning we brought him some fruit, granola bars and water for his bus ride, along with a McDonald's breakfast.  I thanked him for his help and then, just like that he was gone.

But Santos reminded me of something. And I'll share it in Today's Small Thing.