Home Sanctuary

My Personal Policies

I think it would be safe to say that we all have personal rules that we live by.  Surely it's not just ME.  I'm not talking about moral rules, like "Do not kill."  I'm talking about the silly policies we impose on ourselves, like "Never eat anything you can't identify," or "Don't step on sidewalk cracks."  For some reason, I started mentally listing the quirky rules I follow and got curious about other people's personal rules.  Hey, why not start a meme?  So, I am tagging:Katherine, Lauren, Kitty, Chris and Chrystal. If anyone else wants to play along, please do!     Be sure and let me know when you've posted your own rules so I won't feel alone in my principles.

My Personal Policies:

1.  Eat all portions of food evenly, so that you never have too much of anything left at the end.

2.  If one fingernail breaks, you have to cut all the rest so they are even.

3.  Never wear yellow. 

4.  Never wear flip-flops to church.

5.  Always wear lipstick.

6.  Follow this order:  Left sock, right sock.  Left shoe, right shoe.

7.  Always cut sandwiches diagonally.

8.  Never use any else's toothbrush.

9.  Never let your bra straps show.  Or any undergarment for that matter.  Sports bras are questionable.

10.  Never go to bed with a sweaty man.  Make him take a shower before crawling in. 

As an added bonus, I will include 5 parenting policies I USED to think I would follow before I actually became a parent: (feel free to add yours, too!)

1.  Never let your kid throw a tantrum in public.  (Ha!)

2.  Never let your kid out the door in clothes that don't fit, don't match, or have holes in them.  And certainly not in wrinkled clothing!

3.  Never give in to whining.

4.  Never let your kids have soda and candy at the same time.

5.  Don't go out in public with spit-up on your clothes.

Have fun!!

Memorial Day Thoughts

I have a confession to make. To me, Memorial Day has always meant a cook-out and a day off from work and school. We don't come from a military family, and in fact, I don't even know many military families. We do fly a flag and say that we support our men and women in combat, but we don't sport magnetic ribbons on our cars or send care packages to people in Iraq. We don't attend parades or go to memorial services on this day. We watch the news, but I usually turn it off when it gets to Iraq because I hate to hear anything bad.

I'm really quite ashamed of my blase' attitude toward the life and death struggle that is happening in the Middle East. And how I just give lip-service to those who have served in previous wars so that we can enjoy our hotdogs and baked beans on a Monday in May.

But perhaps because of the ages of my children, (13, 18, 20 and son-in-law 21) it has become easier than ever this year to imagine myself sending my kids off to fight in a terrible war. I swallow hard when the names of Americans killed in action scroll across the screen and then I almost can't let my mind even think about the poor mothers and fathers who must bear the news that their beloved child has been killed. I imagine the heatbreak and the sorrow, the anger and the pride I would feel if I were in their place. And I imagine the horrible loss of my own beautiful child, my baby, my treasure. How could I bear it? How do THEY do it?

This day really is about remembering those who have sacrificed. Not just the people in combat, but the families here at home who are without their loved ones, and who wait for calls and emails and the end of a tour of duty. I want to say thank you to the moms and dads who are waiting for their boys and their girls to come home.

And I send a special thank you to the moms and dads who will never really stop waiting, wishing and grieving for their son or daughter who never made it home. A thank you to the husbands, wives and children who will always miss their loved one and never get to see them again. As I eat my picnic lunch and toss a frisbee today, you will be remembering the smiles and special things about your child, or your husband or wife. Memorial Day, to you, is bitter-sweet and about much more than chips and drinks. I hope you know that we are grateful for the sacrifice your loved one made, and that on this day, we remember your sacrifice as well.

Thank you, to all who have served. And thank you to all who love and miss those who have served. We are forever in your debt.

Home Office Renovation - Before and After

Ta Daaa!

Before:

Notice the ceiling falling down and all the paint splatters on the walls. Very uninspiring. Also notice the large yellow lab standing inconveniently RIGHT IN THE DOORWAY, so as to cause us to have to push him out of the way every time we passed in and out.

After:

I wish you could see how gorgeous the red wall is. It is Sherwin Williams "Fireweed", 6328. Talk about inspiring! A perfect red with just enough brown in it to make it warm and rich. Makes me want to use it in the house somewhere. Large yellow lab is no longer permitted into our posh new digs. So he LAYS right outside the door so we can trip over him every time we pass in and out.

The Family That Works Together....

This weekend, our family worked on renovating our garage-studio into a real Office Studio.  It was a great experience of working together toward a common goal.  Tom and I smiled at each other many times...savoring the unspoken "dream come true" feeling of seeing our grown and almost-grown kids pitching in with enthusiasm and excitement. They are a real part of our business!

You see, our family business is changing.  We are in the process of growing into other areas of art and graphic design in order to accomodate our clients, provide new income possibilities and also provide jobs for our college kids.  So our old, paint-slopped garage-studio (yech) had to get a face lift and new furnishings as part of our new venture!

Really, it was mostly wall and ceiling repair, cleaning, painting and installing new lights.  Carpet was found at a remnant store and the price was right. The office furniture (which we bought used) had to be configured and put together, but that was the fun part.  It took a lot longer than we thought it would, but we are SO PLEASED with the results!  We moved the computers in and Voila!  Here it is:

(oops, the pictures are still in the camera. I hate being tech-challenged! Ya'll will have to wait for the Big Reveal. You're gonna LOVE IT!)

The best part of the weekend was being together.  Everyone got along and we had SUCH FUN in the process.  We played music and hung out, and talked about our future.  We also worked, but it almost didn't seem like work.  Tom and I have always dreamed of having our own business and living a more simple lifestyle.   We dreamed that maybe we could have something that our kids could be part of.  At one time, we dreamed that our family business would be farm related...you know, living off the land, etc.   It was far-fetched, but we've had some desperate times when that seemed like the answer to all our modern-day problems.

So who would think that our family business would go high-tech?  Well, there is still the low-tech part of painting and decorating....that part I just can't give up.  But now we can employ modern technology to help us reproduce our own artwork and greatly expand what we've been able to do in the past.  It has been a hard, slow process to get to this point, but finally, we are here.

We get to work from home.  We can work with each other and with our kids. We can open up the doors and catch the breeze and listen to the birds.  Pinch me.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. Habakkuk 2:2-4

Girls, I'm just sayin'. Keep your vision alive. God is good, and He is faithful to do what He's promised.

"Constructive Criticism"

I've never been able to respond to criticism very well. I always tend to take it personally and start crying at the first hint that I'm not measuring up in some way. I just hate that. Why, oh, why must I blubber foolishly over WORDS directed at me?

My husband has learned to couch his helpful comments with careful prefacing and disclaimers.

"Now, I don't want you to take this personally, this has nothing to do with you, but I'm just going crazy here with the house looking like a complete disaster. I'm not saying anything about your lack of care, I know you have been busy, and rightfully so, and I really appreciate all you do, but we've got to do something different around here or I will lose my mind."

Of course, all I hear is: "going crazy, complete disaster, your lack of care, lose my mind." It's just ridiculous. After the tears come my defensive statements, beginning with "But I always" and "You never." Needless to say, I've got a long way to go toward rational conflict resolution.

So I was completely impressed with my daughter, Em's maturity when faced with constructive criticism last week. She attends a university well-known for its highly competitive music program. In order to get in to the program, she had to prepare 4 vocal pieces (2 English, 2 Italian) to audition before a panel of judges. She is an amazing singer, songwriter and pianist, but the level of perfection required for the stringent program is not for the faint-hearted.

First of all, I would never have the nerve to get up and open my mouth in front of judges. And to see them scribbling on their critique sheets would be unbelievably unnerving. Try hitting a high note in Italian with music snobs peering over their glasses at you. gulp.

Despite her relatively high scores (low 90's), it was the critiques that accompanied them that would have reduced me to a quivering puddle of tears.

But not my Em.

She took them instride. She defended most of the comments with "Yes, I can see what they mean. I do need to work on that."

She even laughed about THIS Simon Cowell-like critique: "If you worked at it, you could probably become a pretty good singer."

Who IS this guy? He is obviously an elitist opera quote-unquote "expert."

Em pointed out that the judge added a footnote, "but, it takes a lot of work and you have the voice to do it."

Where I would have focused on the negative, Em chose to focus on the positive. "See, Mom, I DO have the voice to make it!"

I'm humbled by this 18 year-old young woman. Her grace under pressure and before such criticism makes me want to step up my own game. She is able to take the comments as a means of helping her reach higher and try harder. By golly, she's got spunk!

I have no idea where she gets that. Must be from her father's side.

How to Pick a Paint Color

I love paint.

How wierd is it that I have never blogged about my paint passion? When I started blogging, I thought that paint would be a big player in my posts. But somehow I've never gotten around to writing about it. Shame on me. What kind of painter am I anyway?

Paint is the easiest and cheapest way to transform any room, furniture or object. You can paint almost anything, if it sits still long enough. (This would exclude toddlers.) The other possibilities are endless!

First, let's start with my favorite brands. I like Sherwin Williams the best: it is nice and thick, and covers well. There are several types to choose from, from contractor grade to environmentally "friendly". They even have a scrubable matte.

At Home Depot, Behr is the brand I use. Before we got a Sherwin Williams in our area, I would always have my Home Depot mix up a Sherwin Williams color in their Behr brand. Just ask them to look up the competitor brand in their computer and then apply it to Behr.

At Lowe's, Valspar is my choice. For doing a faux finish, the Valspar glaze is what I always use, but I'll talk about that on another post.

Now, let's talk about picking a color. Almost EVERYONE struggles in this area. The best thing to start with is a fabric or tile or carpet or SOMETHING that gives you something to work with. Find an accent color in a drapery fabric and start there. Take your fabric swatch to the paint store and start holding up colors to it. Use the little aparatus that lets you see the colors in different lights.

Then, buy a sample of two or three of the colors you think might work. Sherwin Williams, Benjamin Moore and Ace Hardware all have small sample sizes you can buy so that you don't have to buy a full quart. Great idea! Don't paint your room without trying a sample first. You will regret it, I promise.

Now, this is the best advice I can give you:

Rather than painting a small section of your wall, paint a 1/2 piece of poster board with each of your samples. Tape the poster boards up onto the wall so you can see them at all times of the day. The light coming into the room will change what the colors look like. Flourescent and incandescent lightbulbs have enormous effect on what a color looks like as well. Flourescent lights should be banned, but alas, I can only do so much.

Finally, check out a brand new selection of colors, called Concepts in Color from Sherwin Williams. Click on the "Color Visualizer" and you can see the whole collection. I love this collection! There are only 250 colors, all simply delicious. You will want to paint something immediately when you see them.

To Be Continued.

Donkey Trails: extended version, with photos

If you already read the full post last week, just look at the pictures.

Our stray donkey, Flash, has a pretty good life here at our Barn House. No, he doesn't get to come inside! But he does have free roam of the pastures and woods on the property. He has plenty to eat and plenty of time to contemplate.

You could say he's a Contemplative Donkey.

Some of you might remember that I introduced you to our long-eared friend in an another post. His great big head and silly little legs make us smile almost as often as his outrageous braying. Sometimes we hear the distant echos of "Hee-Haw, Hee-Haw" from the back corner of the woods and we wonder WHAT ON EARTH must the neighbors think?

When you untie the rope and open the gate to get into the pasture, the first thing you'll notice is how tall the weeds are. I must apologize right off the bat. It has been a wet spring and they've gotten out of hand. Just watch out for the prickly ones.

The next thing that catches your attention is the curious criss-cross of donkey paths that lace the ground. Worn into the dark clay earth by funny-looking hooves, these paths are meandering testaments to a life that is defined by mindless repetition.

Need to get to the barn? Follow the path.

Feel like having a drink? Follow the path.

How about a walk in the woods? Follow the path.

Flash's paths don't take the shortest distance between point A and point B. They wander haphazardly hither and yon--probably because he doesn't look up when he walks. His head usually hangs down as he plods along, putting one foot in front of the other. Over time, his auto-treks have created the permanent grooves that WE now walk on when we need to get to the barn. Or fill his water trough. Or walk to the woods.

It struck me one day that Flash is stuck in a rut of his own making. There are parts of the pasture he never goes to because there are no paths that lead there. Oh, he has plenty of ruts to choose from, but they only go where he has gone before...at least a thousand times. Imagine what he is missing out on by not getting off his well-worn trails! Verdant meadows, wildflower patches and wooded delights could be just beyond his view but he will never know as he moseys along with his head lower than his knees.

I've thought about my own mindless ruts: the things I do without giving thought to how I'm doing them. True, there is comfort in familiarity, but there is also monotony. Boredom. Same old, same old. What would it hurt, every once in awhile to change things up and do things differently?

Like Flash's trails, I've noticed that my own trails create ruts for my family to follow. They shouldn't feel like they have to do things the way I ALWAYS do them. Must they wait until there are no clean clothes whatsoever before starting a load of laundry? Must they only shop at my grocery store or have Ranch dressing as their only condiment? I should encourage them to branch out by being a good example of willingness to expand my repertoire.

Today, I took an alternate route to my job site. Although I did it to avoid a traffic jam, I found myself looking at new vistas, and thinking new thoughts as I travelled through unfamiliar territory. Simply driving down a different road inspired me to try OTHER new things. It could be as small as brushing my teeth BEFORE washing my face, or serving an exotic dish to my family rather than relying on my old stand-by meals. Breaking out of my usual pattern got me moving into a whole new direction, and I got excited about the prospects that began to unfold!

Getting off the beaten path is good medicine for the soul. Whenever I find myself in need of creative inspiration, I'm going to remember to lift my head up and look around for some unexplored territory. I might sit in a different chair or order jalapenos on my hamburger. I'll do SOMETHING that reminds me that there is a whole other world beyond my old donkey trails.

Who knows? I just might discover a patch of wildflowers on my way to wooded delights.

On Mother's Day, Thoughts of Thanks

This morning, all I wanted for Mother's Day was to sleep in. No gooey french toast, undercooked eggs and lukewarm coffee on a tray for me. Just sleep.

Of course I popped out of bed bright and early with something out in my back. Ouch! Thankfully, the coffee was on and I'm on my second cup. The house is still quiet, and my back is now just a dull ache.

But I'm filled with thoughts of thankfulness, not just for the coffee, but for my children and for my own mother. How could I have known when I brought that first little bundle home from the hospital what adventure awaited me? I remember the feeling of purpose and destiny I felt in those first days as I settled in to a new role.

"I'm someone's MOM!"

I'm sure my own mother felt the same way when she looked at each of her four children. And even though there are times when you lose that feeling of destiny as you pick through dirty clothes and wash the millionth dish, it returns and whispers to you in quiet moments. It gives you the will to go on, to keep serving. Keep loving. Keep washing dishes.

To keep being a Mom.

Being a Mom is so much harder than I thought, but then it is so much more EVERYTHING. Being entrusted with people to raise, well, that's incredible. My mother did it with such grace and I can only hope to follow her example. I now walk in the path that she has walked: shaping children's lives one day at a time. I'm filled with gratitude for her.

I'm thankful for all the brown-bag lunches I've gotten to pack and the skinned knees I've gotten to kiss. I'm thankful for sleepy heads and car seats and spilled milk. I'm thankful for the messy rooms and the late-night snacks. Now that my kids are older, I can see how each day has built on the last day, and the dailiness of living created who they are today. The frustrations, the victories, the work and the fun are all part of our family's story.

Destiny whispers to me. "I'm someone's MOM!"

Birthday Cake Madness

My new blog friend, Kitty, wrote a great post on Birthday Cake Madness that I want to share. I know you'll love the story just as much as I did, and you'll get to meet another Company Girl! Hop on over to kittyhox.blogspot.com and enjoy!

Sheepish Follow-up to "Cancel That"

What are the chances that ON THE VERY DAY that I should get up on my high-horse about magazine subscriptions that this should arrive in my mailbox??

Oh, yeah. I forgot all about the fact that I got suckered into a great deal (75% off the newsstand price) and filled out a subscription online a couple of months ago. My first issue arrived just in time to embarrass me.

Well, maybe just one magazine won't hurt. (hangs head)